Friday RNB Special @ Home Nightclub

A small mention on the radio of an RNB night on Friday at Home Nightclub. The last time I went to a RNB event at Home bar, it went off! Sounds good, so I dragged my friends along. Here we go!

Assessment Time: 10:30pm – 12:30pm
Address: Cockle Bay Wharf
Door Policy / Dress Code: Casual ok
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: $20. $10 on guestlist.
Guestlist: Unknown, but one was available
Inside: Only the main room was open for tonight’s one-off RNB special. Main floor could hold a few hundred people.
Bar: $12 Yagerbombs
Music: RNB. Typical RNB tunes playing. Regulars to sublime trance event only had the upstairs rooms tonight.
Crowd: There was nobody here, but the crowd that was here, was Mixed. Indian, Asian, Black, Aussie, Euro. Our group represented the only asians.
Atmosphere: Dead.

Home nightclub – an empty shell
There was no line for our RNB event. Bad sign, but it was early. We walked into the main floor and this is what we saw:

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Here’s a picture of my friend with dancefloor behind.

Friend and the main dancefloor behind him. Nobody is behind him.

Friend and the main dancefloor behind him. Nobody is behind him.

Yup.. that’s right.. there was NOTHING. NOBODY. Where on earth was everyone?? Did the promoters even bother to properly promote this ?? There were some people on the side seats, sitting down – too scared to even fathom to go on the dancefloor.  This place was as dead as a dick after coitus. Nobody wanted to dance, but not me. Not James Tran. I MARCHED RIGHT UP AND DANCED IN THE MIDDLE OF HOME NIGHTCLUB – THE LARGEST NIGHTCLUB IN AUSTRAILA. ALONE. AND I DANCED.

I danced for a few minutes, before this self amusement looked a bit weird in front of the other people. Evolution of dance crowd attempt failed. Nobody wanted to join James for a dance.

I asked the bargirl if it was always this busy.
“Sometimes, it depends” she replies. It wasn’t looking too hopeful.

“Maybe it’ll pick up later”, friends say. It didn’t.

We get kicked off the DJ stage, because we don’t have the hook ups.
Me and my friend see some girls up on stage just dancing, so we decide to join them. Here’s a video – look for me up on stage bopping around:

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One of the girls comes up to my friend and asks her if she knew the DJ. No, my friend didn’t know the DJ. He obviously is a popular DJ.
The girl says to my friend “you can only come up here if you know the DJ”. We were then ceremoniously booted off the stage, not before they took photos with us.

Me, Friend, and two friends of the DJ who kicked us off the stage. lol there were just as many people on the dancefloor as up on stage.

Me, Friend, and two friends of the DJ who kicked us off the stage. lol there were just as many people on the dancefloor as up on stage.

So, the entire population of women were only here because the DJ invited them?? What is this place?? HAHAHA. What a joke! There was NOBODY on the floor to show off to. Well there was just this one Xzibit lookalike black guy sipping on his drink, but he wasn’t dancing. He did really looked like Xzibit though.

Entertaining ourselves in this wasteland called a nightclub
Some things to pass the time with. Feel free to use these ideas for your own when you find yourself in a similar dire situation:

1. I play choo choo train around the dead dance floor with a friend – the few people on the dancefloor looked at us with amusement, as I ‘CHOO CHOO’ chug around the floor with my friend behind me,  turning her wheels. A ‘transport’ version of the conga line.
2. We play some limbo – a great time killer. Just use two people to hold their arms out, and everybody else goes under!
3. Jumping around in group circles, while everybody stares at us.
4. I sleaze myself in front of 4 girls – These girls just came into the club. I went up to the prettiest girl and with my sleaziest voice said “Wanna dance?”. She gave me a bemused face, and I said it again but with an added line –  “Wanna dance .. with, THIS?” and I slowly point to myself, up and down. another bemused look, and her friends are giggling. Meanwhile my friends out back are cracking themselves laughing. haha.. this wasn’t going anywhere. They left the club altogether after that encounter. I suppose I did them a favour.

I’m sorry.
My friends know I run this blog. They wanted me to pick a good club tonight. They put their trust in me. I failed them in the greatest way possible by making them come to a night worse than clubbing at that sole club in Katoomba – Yup, there *is* a club there – I was the only one there, with a 40 something year old DJ playing James Brown and other hip artists. I even tweeted a recommendation to come here tonight without doing my research. I suck, and I apologize.

I don’t apologize on the promoters though. Without them, they would not have made such a crap night possible. This was an epic fail.

After giving this place 2 hours to revive itself, we left to Pontoon Bar.

Do not go to events which are not properly promoted. Whoever promoted this event, get professional help. PLEASE.

POST CODA: Pontoon Bar
I’m not going to write a separate post for this. Free Entry, 10 times more packed – which made it a billion times better. I highly recommend it if you have nowhere else to go for your RNB needs. H

We even saw some other people come in from Home Nightclub. I was too ashamed to acknowledge them, and they were probably too ashamed as well to recognize me. It’s one of those things you just don’t talk about with a fellow clubber.

There are a high concentration of Indians, so if you don’t like that crowd (I don’t mind but some others don’t), then don’t go here.Here’s a video in comparison.

Until next time.

Pontoon Bar Afterwards - 100x more people than Home Nightclub tonight

Pontoon Bar Afterwards - 100x more people than Home Nightclub tonight

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