Leadup:
Invited by Shelly who put me on a guestlist. Brojo and Meiny were to go as well. Wuz warned me it was going to be crap since lots of guys will be there to see Jeri Lee. I had a nice time last time (which was a long time ago), and I had nowhere else to go. So I decided to head to Skygardens @ Roof Bar. So was it going to be good or just another sausage fest/crap night?

I find out soon enough…

About Skygardens @ roof bar
This was a one off event, as Skygardens is rarely open these Saturday nights.

Cover Charge: Free before 10.30 if on guestlist. Otherwise it’s $15. $20 if no guestlist.

Crowd: Dominantly Asian

Location: Roof Bar, Elizabeth St entry. Same building as the centrepoint tower. 4^th level.

Taking the elevator up, you are presented with a half carpeted half wooden dancefloor. Most people are dancing on the wooden area as it is also more well lit and closer to the bar.

The actual wooden part of the floor is shown here in the picture. Gives rise to a cosy dance floor.

The bar is out back opposite the entry point. On the right are lounges and pool tables. It’s much of a sit down and go affair.

Music: Rnb. The DJ got away with playing a few commercial house tracks at around 2am.

Atmosphere: Was quite busy but didn’t quite reach a maximum capacity and may have seemed dead at times. The small dance area with people criss crossing did make it appear busy to me anyway.

At peak crowd (taken from the bar). Clubbers throughout are lined by watchers, who are waiting for Jeri Lee.

My timeline

Why you shouldn’t come early to line up part I:
Shelly told me to line up at 9.30 to guarantee free entry. I ran a bit late and got there 10pm. The line was reasonable. About 20 people ahead of me. I should still be able to get in free. I stand and wait. I was expecting to be kicked out for having no girls, but for some reason the security didn’t check this time. Hmm.

Late comers arrive and they are redirected to make a new line. The door crew finally let us in slowly, however they the latecomers line is released as well! This was not right. I WAITED 30 DAMN MINUTES AND THAT LUCKY LATE BASTARD OVER THERE GETS TO WAIT WHAT 2 MINUTES AND GETS IN BEFORE ME??? HELLO WE WERE HERE FIRST! HELLO!! Man, what a jib. Hope I can still get in free…

That Jason guy.
I want to whinge. I look at the two guys behind me chatting. One of them is Jason the solo bum dancer. What?! Bamboo is where he’s supposed to be! God, he’s everywhere that guy. Maybe he knows about this blog and is stalking me. I don’t know. Eventually we start conversing. His friend is Mike. Mike’s here for Jeri Lee, me and Jason are here to dance. I guess that Jason is in his mid 20’s or later, since he starts to talk about the old days of Cave nightclub (Star City), and all these other places and DJ’s I haven’t heard of. He seems like a nice guy. I keep whinging about how I just want to get in before 10.30.

Why you shouldn’t come early to line up part II:
The clock strikes 10.30 – AND IM STILL IN LINE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT. THE BASTARDS LET SO MANY 2^ND LINE LATE COMERS IN. I WAS ONLY 5 PEOPLE AWAY FROM GETTING IN. FOR FUCKS SAKE!! This was the greatest fucking injustice that an honest man lining up has had to face!! FUCK!!

I see Shelly walk by. She’s just arrived, and I madly wave at her. Im pissed off and I want her to hook me up for my free entry. She says she can’t do much and goes in for free and waits for me. So not fair.. she didn’t have to wait at all!

I finally get to the counter at 10.40. I whinge about lining up for so long. The girls giggle and say they’ll give me $5 for drinking money. How cute but I still have to pay up! I was confused when they actually did give me $5! I wanted to give it back, but it took me a few seconds to realize that the $5 was actually change after I gave them $20. VERY FUNNY. HAHAHA. NOT.

Jason gets a daring message. Somehow me and Jason are dancing and cheering each other on. He gets all the crowd attention though when he starts to promiscually dance with inanimate objects and the walls throughout the night. Disturbingly funny, which I guess what the intended reaction was. There are just some people you can’t outdance, so I got no attention at all.

Later we’re dancing late in the night. Jason gets his own little circle of watchers. Someone then comes in the circle and does a robot kind of thing, which was pretty funny. He’s waving his hands, then, as a final robotic move, he robotically sticks his middle finger in front of Jaso — WOA!! That was funny scary. Funny in the way it was executed. Scary in the way that there was no reason to do it, and seeing Jason before (search for ‘jason defends his ground’), we don’t know how Jason will react…

Jason and I. We both need haircuts.

Jason strikes back
Jason went nuts. On the dancefloor that is. What was some innocent guy dancing away turned into a monster of a child. Jason did some spinning, did some kicking, and more. What did it for me was when he sat on the ground, feet in front, and he jumped up and down on his butt, causing him to propel forwards with every bump. That was the most beautiful move I had ever seen. Jason finished it off by standing up and giving the guy a slicing of the throat gesture. Crazy critter. The robot guy must’ve pissed his pants, because he immediately walked away with his girlfriend hanging off his arm. Jason low-5’d me and I congratulated him on the public slaughtering.

What’s the time again Mister MC?

“Jeri Lee will be coming in shortly” Oh, I can’t wait !

.. 20 minutes later: “Jeri will be here very shortly”

.. another 20 minutes later: “Jeri will be here in 20 minutes!”

.. (20 minutes later) “Jeri will be here very shortly ” (I hope she’s sick, because I already am)

About half an hour later she finally arrives…

Jeri Lee has sexy hair and can dance

She stood up and danced for 3 or 4 songs. She took every opportunity to shake her boobs and butt. They were fake but nobody was caring about that. She had hot long hair to me. Love a girl with nice long hair. The other two girls were basically dry humping each other. That was hot.Eventually it got a bit boring staring at someone shake their body for the entertainment of men. I became immune somewhat to the flesh display in front of me. For her second set, I stood back behind the crowd and noticed everyone was staring at her. No cheering or dancing. Just some good, old, perversion. I realised how lame this looked and tried to dance. It was next to impossible to dance as well as perve at Jeri at the same time, no wonder.

Check out my dodgy video at (new window) : http://www.youtube.com/v/vEip_HZkAZk

Can she lead these horses to clap too?
Jeri clapped her hands, then the MC screamed for us to clap our hands too. Me Brojo and Meiny clapped.. But nobody in the crowd in front was clapping at all. Jeri didn’t even last 10 claps before she gave up herself and went back to what she did best – dancing like she was about to rip her clothes off, but leaving it on.

She must have been dying, wondering why she wasn’t getting her beauty sleep instead of dancing in front of a bunch of horny guys who were standing there, eye raping her. Eventually she got tired and hopped off, not before giving out sultry photos of herself – the guys were crazy for the photos. It was the only time the crowd went truly wild. The things we do for free things.

Jason left at 2am – to go to Bamboo! Nutbag! I guess he didn’t like being upstaged by 3 hot girls. We left shortly after.

Lessons learned
Line up super early because if a line has the potential to turn into two lines, you will be fucked. Don’t fuck with someone who can dance. Models like to come late to things.

Summary
I probably would not recommend asian Skygardens events anymore to anyone. It’s such a great place to go to but somehow it lacked that something. Lacking in people?