Thought you might like some spreading action

Thought you might like this irrelevant photo (Back Room)

I’ve heard bits and pieces about the redesigned place, and the opportunity came to visit it tonight – time to check it out!

Saturdays @ FakeClub (Empire Hotel Level 2), Kings Cross : formerly “Plantation Bar
Review Note: This is the extended, personalised, version of the short review written for the Best Clubs In website,  found at
Assessment Time:11:40PM – 1:35AM
Opening Hours: 09:00PM – 06:00/07:00AM
Lockout: I don’t think there was any form of lockout, partly due to the extended opening times.
Address: Roslyn St. It’s on level 2 of Empire Hotel. This is the same venue/event formerly known as The Temple, formerly known as Plantation (Bar).
Venue Website:
Promoter Website: Self promoted.
Occurrence: Every Saturday. The event is also open on Fridays, Sundays as well for other events with different music styles.
Outside Line: There was nobody in line as we entered. There was, though, a small crowd outside having a smoke, so at least you knew the place was at least populated.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty much you could wear as you please, excluding thongs. The relaxed dress code today might have been influenced a big chunk of the patrons coming from Creamfields festival earlier in the day, with whatever they were wearing – they are easily spotted with their singlets and shorts. . The rest of the crowd wore casual or smart casually dressed. The door policy was pretty relaxed – we were not scanned by security for any dangerous items.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20 was entry. $15 entry if you wore a Creamfields wristband. Discount/Free before 10PM, which isn’t much leeway.
Guestlist: Guestlist ended at 10PM.
Inside: After walking up the (what appeared to be) fire exit stairs, you will be presented with a room which resembles a large garage or a small warehouse. High ceiling dotted with stability columns around the edges. To the left is the dance floor area to hold probably 100-150 people, with DJ on the West wall. Large LED screen intallation spans the DJ booth and rises up 3 metres or so close to the ceiling. To the South side are a handful of medium sized reserved lounge areas to hold parties for 20 people or so. To the right is the main bar for length of about 10 people. The North side is just pure wall, and the bathroom. The back room, hard to find, is located just adjacent to the main bar via a closed door. Walk inside to enter a smaller room – it can only hold 20 people squishily on the floor itself. DJ on the far end, while a makeshift bar on a table is on the left. Futons and lounges dot the walls here.
Cloak Room: None Found. Noted were people leaving their stuff around the place.
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight but the line was pretty busy – it would be at least 15 minutes of waiting time at the bar. It’s also in thoroughfare between the two rooms so you’re awlways moving and bustling around.
Eviction Count: None that I spotted. It was pretty dark.
DJs: Resident Fake Bratpack DJ/s, Teenage Terror Squad, Bangers and Mash, Oh Glam, and more.
Music Style: Main room played different flavours of electronic house (this is not the same as electro) and dubstep, (except notably commercial flavours) during the time I was here. During times, there were a good 10-12 minutes of ‘dull’ time where the beat/rhythm of the music being played was not sustaining the crowd at all, and you could tell people were getting bored. I don’t think the DJ sensed this – or it was just a part of his plan to not have the crowd jumping around and have them relaxed instead? Who knows. The secondary room is Old School Rnb, Hip Hop and Rap, with some old boy band songs too. Think Snoop Dogg, Tupac, Eminem, Backstreet Boys – A tribute to the 90s and early 2000’s hip hop/rnb scene you would say. The mixing in the back room was non-existent here, as the DJ used a standard form of slow-stopping the track and moving on to the next one. She made up for the lack of this by picking some good tunes and even dancing up and singing with the crowd.
Crowd & Ratio: Primarily local Australians / Caucasians here. We are one of two Asian groups tonight, and there are some islander groups. Gay friendly. The ratio was 65/35 male/female from best estimates. A good proportion of the crowd here are also from the Creamfields festival event earlier. This helps keep the average age here at about…. 19. haha.. well in all fairness the crowd was pretty young anyway. There are some folk in late 20’s and I saw a bloke who was definitely in his 30’s, but the place is pretty dark so its hard to spot anyone else older. Pretty OTT amongst some of the crowd here, with crowd surfing and people dancing on the speakers here.
Entertainment: MC for the main room to keep things going.
Pretty dark atmosphere here in the main room, with the LED light wall providing the main source of photons. It’s a blur of noise, the LED lights from the DJ area as well as constant strobic lighting giving the passive person’s first time out a very overwhelming experience. The people in this room seem a bit cold.. had a girl with ADD shove me and other people aside to get to the front without apologizing or anything – shameful. Otherwise the music is the focus here tonight. Also the first thing I wanted to do was take my jacket off when I walked in, so be aware of the warmth here.

In the backroom, it is more well lit and as the room is smaller, it does have more of a cosy vibe but can be overrun with the amount of people trying to fit in here. The atmosphere is more vibrant with people singing along to the music of years gone by. Sadly though the room died at around 1:30AM, arouns the same time the DJs were switched. Unknown how the room progressed later in the night.
Video: Main Room and Back Room: Walkthrough and Music Sample Timeline
YouTube Preview Image

Welcome to Skin Club
As mentioned, its quite warm in here, so its no surprise that the MC has decided to take his shirt off, step up onto the DJ booth, in front of the LED screen, and proudly show off his chiseled body to the women of the crowd, who are literally jumping out of their seats and taking photos and video footage of the guy posing. I can’t blame them, as the place was to dark to see anybody else. Then if that wasn’t enough, he took off his pants as well and stood there in his jocks. Taste… taste!

Alright, got a bit tired of him strutting around, so went to the back room for some Old School love. DJ is up and pumping her fists in the air and the crowd is chanting along. Pretty cool. Then the DJ decides to lift her dress up and flash her rack! What was that I just saw? She did it a second time in case anyone missed it. Okay – That was freaking awesome. Don’t think I’m deprived, I just thought it was amazingly something you dont excpect a female DJ to do. at. all. It totally made up for having to stare at the shape of the MC’s crotch in the main room.

The state of affairs in the bathroom
I love how some bathrooms have only ONE basin. Such as one bedroom apartments. This is a club, and we only had one basin (for the small bathroom I must admit). Unfortunately someone in a moment of stupdendor decided to smash the basin down to the ground and obliterate it to pieces. This meant that theoretically no male who visited the bathroom (including myself) had clean hands. Wiping your hands on your jeans doesn’t count!

Something I haven’t heard of in a while
Spotted by M were two people openly sniffing a liquid substance. I don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely not someone sharing their prescribed legal medication with another person. I suppose I’ve been so sheltered in the clubs I’ve been going to that I forgot that this aspect of clubbing does still exist. Perhaps I’m not looking hard enough. Though despite this nobody else was visually seen taking up substances.

My Asian RnB loving friends are not fans of this place at all and I have relented at 1:30AM

Obviously you need to be a fan of the music, as demonstrated by my friends, who didn’t like it. I’ve kept an open mind about the music in the main room – at times it was good, and at times it wasn’t so good, even for the others here – but it was more on the good side. The vibe is up there but it would have been nice if the DJ / MC combo was able to sustain the excellent vibe consistently through the night.  

Saturdays @ Fake Club (Empire Hotel): 6/10 (Only if you like the music in the main room!) Otherwise don’t go.

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