A friend’s birthday. She’s chosen Bamboo as the place to be.
Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar
(Assessment time: 1:30am-4:00am)
Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au
Cover Charge/Entry Fee: $25 After midnight.
Music: RNB. Pretty good. Typical RNB you would hear at any good RNB club
Crowd: Asian
Atmosphere: Crowded. People dancing, just enough to reach close to capacity.
Timeline
No line:
It was 1:30 as we arrived and there was no line. I was expecting a line, but it wasn’t at full capacity. As we entered, it was probably at around 80-90% capacity. Still pretty busy. Jason the Korean bum dancer was pretty much on one of the podiums already doing his thing.

Birthday girl is already spewing her guts out
I took a photo with the birthday girl sitting down. After the photo, she sits up and empties out the contents of her stomach onto the floor. Absolutely disgustingly hilarious stuff. Apparently her 4th chunder that night.

Chasing for a girl’s number – is it worth the pain of being kicked in the balls? (a long story)
I went up on the podium and did a pirate dance. A girl comes up and dances with me. Right into the grinding. The physicality started when we were asked to get off the podium. She pushes me off. I help her down and her hand goes for my nuts, but she punches it and tries to kick them – WTF. I walk away, amused a girl would do that. She must’ve been drunk, or was it that she was Korean – are they all this violent?

A few minutes later we see her again. She tries to hit me again in the nutsack and I grab her arm. So with her other free arm she slaps me on the face!! WTF! she laughs. I pull her and she goes to hit me in the balls again. I grope her boobs in return, haha. She then tries to kick me in the balls. She’s fucking crazy. It was then, I decided I wanted to have this girl even if it took all night.

Return to friends but I want to grind with her again. I see her but some super tall asian, muscly man is talking to her, and she’s sorta grinding with him. She sees me and comes right up to me and slaps me again! Bloody hell. I tell her where the hell she’s been. She says
hb: “why dont you go away and talk to your other hot girls?”
me: “i haven’t been talking to other girls!”
hb: “you liar! go away! go talk to your other hot girls” (she proceeds to go back to the tall asian guy and hugs him. No kissing though, perhaps to make me jealous)
But as us men know, “no” means “yes”. Hahaha

10 minutes later, I look for her and find her. Tall muscly guy still with her. She sees me and goes after me and another SLAP. I hold her waist and she holds my hand and she grinds with me. But the other guy is coming up. I ask if her boyfriend approves of us dancing. She says she only met the guy tonight. He comes up and talks with me. I don’t wanna talk to him! I drag her away from the guy as fast I can. She is trying to kick me in the balls still. I push her against the wall. She stops resisting. We make out. Sweet victory is mine!!

The moment is short lived, as yet again, he comes right up next to us and wants to talk! I AM SO OVER THIS GUY! UGH!! So he gets her hat and puts it on himself then taps me on the shoulder and asks:
him: ‘does this hat look good on me?’
me: “no. it looks better on me” (takes hat and puts it on myself)
I was either going to be bashed or not. Luckily it was the latter and he disappears.

She walks off and then dances with my friend to get me jealous. My friend knows what she’s trying to do. Luckily, there were two girls nearby. I went right up and chat to them and dance with them, the whole time making sure she could see everything. Two can play this game, hmph!! She quickly left my friend and came back to me. A pash, then her girlfriend comes along and drags her away. A super number swap and she’s gone. That took 90 minutes and most of my night. What freaking hard work.

Coda – I am recognized from 2 weeks ago!
Close to closing time, she came up to me and told me she recognized me!
me: “really?”
her: “yup! You were wearing the same pirate costume – I even know what your name is – it’s James!”
I didn’t know her name nor did I even recognize her. Most importantly, I was busted wearing the same outfit twice!! Damn. She was really friendly but had a boyfriend. Oh well. She  danced with the 3 of us boys left. By this time the lights had switched on and nobody else was dancing. The last songs were a Michael Jackson tribute (he had died the previous day) so we danced in his honour. RIP big boy.

Me and my dance buddy - the last dancers at Bamboo tonight. Kept on dancing even when the lights were on!