Scubar Sydney Downunder - Monday night

Mondays @ Scubar Sydney Australia
Assessment Time: 10:30PM – 12:15AM
Opening Hours: Midday – 03:00AM
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 4 Rawson Place, Sydney central (Next to the YHA Central) Google maps: http://g.co/maps/kz2gn
Venue Website: http://www.scubar.com.au
Promoter Website: Self promoted
Occurrence: Every Monday (The venue is open everyday)
Outside Line: There was a LINE outside. Omg, people lining up to get inside Scubar, what is this madness? Line was about 15 people deep and took about an equivalent 10-15 minutes to get in as it was already at capacity.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty casual today, most people were casual. Didn’t spot anyone with hats. Thongs are a no no, even here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night
Guestlist: N/A
Inside: Walk downstairs underground to enter the entire scubar. On the left is the bar attended by 2 or 3 people. Standing room and tables for about 40 or so people. In front and to the right is the dancefloor area. Its quite small in comparison to proper clubs, but tonight it seems to be holding quite a number of people to the tune of around 60-100 people.
Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: $5 foster cans. This must be one of the last places on earth that you can buy Foster cans, because I definitely don’t know where else I can buy them. 4x Jagerbombs + 4x Tequilas = $66.

Bathroom Facilities: Not utilised.
Eviction Count: None spotted.
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Top 40, Pop, Classic Retro hits.
Crowd: Mostly backpackers today of many, many nationalities. Ages vary between 18 to 30 somethings.
Ratio: More guys than girls here, for sure. There are about 65% -70% guys. Kept the same throughout my time here.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment
Atmosphere: The first impression was again, jesus this place is packed to the max. Not just the dancefloor, but the standing bar areas, podiums, etc as well. Everyone is chatting, drinking, or dancing. It’s surprisingly not as messy as I thought either, compared to say, Side Bar, which always manages to get a slippery floor. The DJ tonight is playing a safe choice of music that everybody knows and sings along to. Makes for a good vibe here. Shame about the many guys around.
Video: Music Sample / Tour (Forgot my camera so I resorted to my 8MP shithouse mobile phone thing)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Everyone is already coupled up
When you walk in on the scene, people are already making out and doing bad things. It’s only 11PM. I think this is just the backpacker way of doing things. Already people were hitting on our female company. I think one of them was indicating to me to save her from this good looking drunk guy, but I left her to writher in the grasp of the guys arms and advances. It’s quite funny. Eventually though she was saved.

The brownside to dancing in cramped conditions
Places that are packed, are always fun. So we’re having a fun time, and someone decided to drop a huge fart near where we were standing. Kind of sucked as we then had to move somewhere else. Seriously if you have to fart, don’t do it on the dancefloor. It’s so gross, and everybody starts blaming each other. This is how wars start.

Arrivederci
Friends had work tomorrow and had to leave. WEAK SAUCE. I had to drive one of them home so I had to leave as well.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
As much as I thought Scubar was a disgusting place to go, it’s actually not too bad for a Monday night, consdering there is really.. nothing much else out there that is open and full of people.

I would recommend you to come here if you want to mingle it up with backpackers / fellow party people on a Monday night. It’s close to buses/taxis/Central station for your ride home, just in time for work/uni/school the next day. Nothing to lose for free entry anyway.

If you wanted something classy – this place IS NOT for you. Save the LBD for another day.

Tonight’s rating for the backpacking party animal- 6.5/10

Crowd - Live Art Space (3:30AM)

Friday I’m In Love @ Oxford Art Factory
Assessment Time: 2:10AM – 4:00AM
Opening Hours: 6PM to late.
Lockout: Unknown.
Address: 38-46 Oxford St, Darlinghurst, Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.oxfordartfactory.com/
Promoter Website: Appears to be self promoted. But there was probably an act earlier on in the night at the Live Art Space Room.
Occurrence: Every Friday.
Outside Line: There looks like a line but its actually a smoking area – there was no line upon approaching and entry. I’m sure though that during peak hours there would be a huge line outside.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty casual. Not sure about hats – didn’t spot anyone with hats.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free at time of entry for the Live Art Space Room, but this is normal after 2AM. Unknown whether there was cover charge beforehand. Free all night in the smaller Art After Hours Room.
Guestlist: None at this time
Inside: There are two main rooms which reside below street level. (1) Live Art Space Room: Walk into this larger room where live bands can play for small crowds. A stage is setup at the front, with dancefloor for about 200-300 people, with an elevated level at the back with 4 or 5 lounges. Tables and chairs on the left while the bar is on the right. Behind the Bar is the (2) Art After Hours Room, about half the size as the 1st room, it also has the bar, and a more narrow rectangular area for dancing for about 100 or so people. 2 or 3 lounges are in here.
Cloak Room: Surprisingly no cloak room tonight. it’s hard to find dark little spots here where you can hide your stuff.
Bar Prices / Line: Asahi and Vodka combo – $15
Bathroom Facilities: You piss on a brick wall (purposely designed). Otherwise enough taps to go around with the shared trough.
Eviction Count: One eviction spotted – Marty got kicked out at the end of the night. 
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Live Art Space Room: Hip Hop, Rap, 90′s Pop. Art After Hours Room: Old School RnB / Hip Hop / Pop / Rock. Little to no mixing performed. Pretty much nothing from the past 10 years was played at this time.
Crowd: Almost all Anglo-Saxon crowd, and mostly locals here. Ages look like it varies between teenagers to more mid 20′s to early 30′s. Hard to tell in the dark.
Ratio: It was pretty even, with a slight tendency towards guys at times, which is surprising at this time of night.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment.
Atmosphere: Both room were quite busy and near capacity. People are all into the mood, and with minimal seating, people are forced to dance. It got a bit stuffy in the smaller Art After Hours room but that comes with the extra people. After about 2:30 numbers started to quickly drop, and people were all forced to move to the larger Live Art Space room to keep the vibe going. Smart move. Overall people are quite happy to dance and mingle tonight.
Video: 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci - kicked out
Marty and some drunk girl sat up on the stage area and she proceeded to pull him to standing up position on stage, for what was presumably an impromptu dance. Suddenly within seconds, bouncers POUNCED on Marty and kicked him out!! Hahaha oh shit. Well that was the end of the night here. The drunk girl remained in the club as we left to quickly follow Marty out. Oh the injustice of it all.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
A popular place with the locals, and with free entry and reasonably priced drinks with good classic music, I can’t see why it can’t go wrong. Despite the rain and Stereosonic the next day there was quite a big turn out. A cloak room would help though. I liked it, but Marty wasn’t so into it.

Score: 7.5/10

But look across the road, for a mysterious place called “Thru the grapevine” is found. A local has told us this is where White Revolver is. I read an article that it was extremely difficult to get in! I have M, and 2 chicks with me. They are pretty good looking, but would it be enough? We are immediately let in past security without question Ok, here we go!

A small wall in the chillout room. That's a spare door on the left for dramatic effect

Fridays @ White Revolver Nightclub, Bondi Beach, Sydney
Assessment Time:12:30AM-01:15AM
Opening Hours: Unknown
Lockout: Unknown
Address: Entrance is in the side road through the “Thru the Grapevine”. There is no signage indicating that there was a club named White Revolver inside. From the outside, it just looks like a very small chillout bar, with a blue light highlighting the open room. Kind of like looking into a small house party.
Venue Website: http://www.whiterevolver.com
Promoter Website: Self Promoted
Occurrence: Every weekend.
Outside Line: No line outside as we approached.
Dress Code / Door Policy: When we were told this place was White Revolver, Instantly my memory recalls reading an article of a reporter getting into White Revolver’s underground club only by having two hot chicks by his side (Inside sydney’s secret nightclubs: Link). My fears of a classy snotty crowd run through my mind.Casual is allowed. We were all wearing pretty casual clothing. I had a collared shirt. M had a t-shirt on with big bright white basketball-like sneakers. (It appears that White Revolver has undergone some transformations/renovations since the aforementioned article, allowing more casual patrons inside the unique venue)
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10 flat entry fee all night
Guestlist: no
Inside: Walk inside the door through to the blue-light lit drinking / smoking area for 15 or so people. Turn left through the door frame into the bar area – about triple the size of the blue-lit area. It’s a dark bar with lounges/seating at the back. Turn left again through another door frame into the dancefloor to hold roughly 50 or so patrons. It’s in a kind of wide wedge shape, with the DJ in the pointy corner bit of it. See walkthrough video below for an idea on what’s up. The whole place looks like it’s from a time bygone, with various furnishings and furniture items from an old period. The website says it has a 1920′s feel to it.
Cloak Room: none
Bar Prices / Line: I didn’t drink tonight, but it was quite easy to get a drink. Either no line or one person in front of you ordering something.
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Classic retro remixed in a house fashion, then later after 1AM they played much more RnB. It may have been a DJ changeover, I do not know. Listen to the short music sample I took below.
Music Sample Compilation Video: (My first time doing this – its to give you a better indication of what music to expect)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Spew
Picked a spot close to the DJ to dance. People are freely dancing and drinking. Suddenly a girl pukes standing up in the small corner. The same corner to which I have placed my jacket. Oh f*ck!! Ran to the area, and thankfully, she was controlled enough to spew next to my jacket instead of all over it. I moved my jacket and myself to the other side of the room, after thanking the clubbing gods for sparing my jacket.

DJ corner at White Revolver

Ass pinch
A really catchy song came on and I danced merrily. A girl came up and pinched my hard really hard. Totally not obvious. Turn around. She’s with her boyfriend, who is wondering why she just did that. Yes, why did you?

Arrivederci
A female friend of ours didnt like this place at all and we left at 01:15AM. I liked it because it was different from what I was used to.

Recommendation
Our female friend found it too hot inside and loud. She was wearing a pretty nice dress as opposed to everyone else who was dressed down, Bondi style. I liked it though. However I’m a guy, and I was wearing earplugs, and I get off visiting new dance venues. I would have stayed longer, but I would agree that I probably would have gotten tired of the very small dancefloor and would have overheated multiple times. I would expect to emerge from this place with a sweat-soaked shirt if I stayed here all night.

Only was here for a short time, so I can’t really rate it. It’s not on top of my list to revisit in the future with friends. Some may not like the small dance part of it all. However if you wanted a clubbing fix in Bondi Beach after midnight, this is really the only open you can visit. I could see myeslf getting sick of this place if I only came here to dance. However I probably wouldn’t get sick of the friendly people who come here. You are either going to love it or hate it.

Thursdays @ Albion Hotel Parramatta, Sydney
Assessment Time: 11:45PM – 12:45PM
Address: 135 George St, Parramatta
Venue Website: http://www.albionhotel.com.au
Promoter Website: Self Promoted
Occurrence: Every Thursday
Outside Line: Very short outside, did not take long to get in. You could also freely enter via the beer garden entrance tonight. Normal weekend nights you would only be allowed initial entry via the outside carpark entrance.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual is ok tonight. Tonight was a mix of casual and smart casual.. a lot of the guys just came up with their casual shirts and girls wearing casual one pieces.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: None
Inside: Enter via the carpark into the ‘gasworks’ nightclub room, a square-ish floor to hold 200-300 people. Stage area where bands would play during other events is converted to a dance area as well with the installation of 2 dancing poles. DJ area is up in the middle here as well. Bar on the opposite side of the room. Head outside to the beer garden about twice the size of the nightclub area, with an extra bar outside and inside the gambling area.
Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight. The line wasn’t that long. A probable 4-8 minute wait.
DJs: (From the website) DJ Tiklez, Anthum, G-Wizard, Tommy Funk
Music Style: Everything is covered here. Modern and retro pop, contemporary rnb, with some house tracks as well. Mostly tunes people could dance to. On the website it is listed as RnB, 80′s Funk, NRG.
Crowd & Ratio: Mostly local people from around the area – Dominantly Anglo-Saxon, mostly from a European background with the rest being Aussie. There are also Middle Eastern and Indians here. Hard pressed to find an Asian here. It was also a noticeably large proportion of men to women. About 7 to 1 on initial count. A guy told us how shit he thought tonight was. I looked around, and there were people everywhere. It was just the dominance of guys that we was probably referring to. Ages varied from teenagers to people in their 30′s.
Entertainment: No extras.
Atmosphere: Pretty dark inside here, so it does feel more of a nightclub, especially at the front. Near the back it feels more like a bar as people aren’t dancing so much up the back. Most groups of people kept to themselves here. There was this one drunk kiwi or samoan looking guy dancing, and yelling with everyone. You can tell he is drunk as he has a beer in his hand.
Video: 2x 360 views. One from the back and one from the front

Click here to view the embedded video.

Shameful, that I keep returning to this place.  I can’t help it – its free. I am surprised though, that the upstairs club floor is actually packed! It really must be schoolies.. the poor kids.

Here’s a video of upstairs:

Click here to view the embedded video.

01:45AM-02:30AM - Getting the party started! (by M, who was with me tonight) 
James decides we should see what’s happening down at Jackson’s on George nearby. So we march on over there. At ground level there’s not a lot going on. Mostly it is an older crowd here, who only came for a few quiet beers. The DJ is in an isolated corner going solo, since hardly anyone is dancing to his tunes. James marches right up there and struts his stuff. I jump up there and together we increase the dancing population at Jackson’s to a grand total of 2. People downstairs stare with amusement at the spectacle. Eventually we are noticed by a middle aged woman whom I suspect has grown bored of nursing her drink all night with her equally middle aged mates and she slowly sidles over to our corner where we are dancing and joins us. She then encourages her friends to join us. They filter in one by one here and there. Before long, the small space at the DJ stand is packed with life and epic dancing. Ground level at Jackson’s on George has never seen anything like it. We leave our new friends for a moment to see what’s happening upstairs. We are surprised to see it is quite populated and not what we have come to expect each time we have visited Jackson’s. The DJ is playing House, trance and Electro and laying it down nicely. The ventilation is poor up here though and it is noticeably more humid than downstairs. We leave because the heat became uncomfortable in a hurry. We exit Jackson’s and go back to Sienna at Establishment. James looks back as we are leaving and sees a dismayed crowd staring after us, sorry to see us go!

03:00AM-04:00AM – The return (by M) 
When we return to Jackson’s on George, the small crowd is seen excitedly cheering as we enter! A hero’s welcome if there ever was one! They motion us over to their little circle and we dance and bask in our collective awesomeness. The DJ is playing the most bizarre assortment of hits in any club ever. At one point John Farnham’s “The Voice” was heard; and Prince’s “Kiss” among a string of other tunes from the crazy 80’s. We all sing along and jam on our air guitars and go spastic just cause we can.

The Student
A woman wanted me to teach her to dance. Then she wanted me to copy another couple dancing. The couple weren’t dancing – they were making out. Um, no thank you Been there done that!

Evil security
Security were literally hovering at the dancefloor. Any sign of drunkedness people were kicked out. Fun factor killed, but I guess it is for the safety for the 5 or so other people down here.

Arrivederci
Left when everybody got kicked out for being drunk

Ultimately we decided to not buy more tickets and limped it back to the city. Bungalow 8 and Cargo Bar were now charging $10 cover charge. Oh my god, since when did this start happening? Apparently since mid-October. What a riot. They might as well make the most of it, because there were still lines of people trying to get in.

Wandered around until we found a free entry place – The Retro.. same place I was last year for Halloween Saturday as well. Maybe it was meant to be, we will see – here we go!

Saturdays @ The Retro Bristol Arms Hotel (Halloween)
Assessment Time: 11:30ish – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: Open during the day until 4:00AM (Possibly later?)
Lockout: No lockout.
Address: 51 Sussex St
Venue Website: http://www.theretro.com.au
Promoter Website: Self Promoted by the venue
Occurrence: Every Saturday are the themed nights
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes. Half the crowd wear casual while the other half, being Halloween, are wearing costumes and outfits. It’s pretty cool. Pimps, Hoes, Ghouls, lots and lots of women with the devil horns, Royalty, Gladiators, Transformers, Mummies, Sailors, Pokemon, Pirates and even a dude with a costume made out of entirely bubble wrap (I am going to definitely use this idea for a costume).
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free before 9PM. $20 Standard cover charge between 9PM and midnight. $25 after midnight. Discount on guestlist. Free entry all night if you are dressed up in the weeks theme. Tonight’s theme is Halloween – so pretty much anything was allowed in. One of our friends was one of those ‘I hate dressing up’ types – you know exactly EXACTLY what kind of friend I am talking about dear open minded reader – this person is all about looking good and not risking looking silly, but heck, its Halloween! The only time of the year where looking like a goof on the streets is pretty much acceptable. So for her, she had to cough up $20, and the rest of us walked in no problems. Lining up took about 10-15 minutes.
Guestlist: See website. The entrance has a separate express guestlist line. The current link for guestlist at the retro is http://www.myguest.com.au/theretro/events.php
Inside: I don’t think anything has changed since last year. Walk inside to enter the ground level floor. Small bar to the right for drinking and outside smoking area. On the left is the dance area for the contemporary music. Th area could hold about 100-150 people. DJ in the far corner, and bar on the inner left. Three podiums are spotted around the area. It’s hard to describe. Up the internal stairs one level to the 80′s level, where you enter the chill out lounge room where there are sofas a pool table and small bar. Keep walking through around and to the main wooden dancefloor area where there is a bar on the left, a the DJ in the far middle centre, with a podium in front to hold about 10 people. There are sofas spotted to the right along the walls and a private taped off VIP area to the left corner. The middle is dancefloor space dotted with the holding colums. Up to the top 90′s level where you walk through to a carpeted dancefloor room. Bar and VIP/sofas to the right. DJ on the far left corner. Coloured flourescent retro lights flash in sequence. Two podiums on the left to hold about 8 people each, and dancefloor space left to hold about 100-150 people.
Cloak Room: There is a cloak room service for $3 per item. So cheap in the caucasian places. However I have no idea where it is. I think its a the lower bar on the ground level.
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight. Line at the bar was pretty short – it looked like only one row of people at most at each bar, so not much to worry about.
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Bottom level played modern music from 2000 onwards, but not quite 2010 styles. Middle level was dedicated to 80′s retro dance and rock music, while the top level was dedicated to 90′s retro rnb, pop, whatever was well known.
Crowd: Wildly varied ages from early 20′s to probable late 40′s and 50′s. However dominantly were people in their 30′s as evident by the birthdays and hen’s nights. Dominantly white crowd of Ausises and Euros/Wogs. Only some Asians were here.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment, but the fact that everyone is in costume is pretty much novely value in itself.
Atmosphere: Bottom level got a bit stuffy at times as this is where people are forced to congregate when the upper levels became full. Probably also the messiest level here, with a kind of dark atmosphere. Middle level with the 1980′s retro was more clean, with better lighting, and people enjoying themselves. It’s quite a happy vibe with happy tunes playing. Much the same can be said for the top 1990′s level, but not as ‘happy’ as the middle level. Upstairs was more of a dancing atmosphere due to the younger crowd, smoke machines and less lighting. All levels had Halloween decorations around the place. It is really the upper levels that are the highlight of the venue, and where most of my night was spent. Once these levels become full and you are stuck downstairs.. its quite a wait in line to go up again.

Timeline
Chalkboard Drawings 101
In the 80′s level, there exists a wall painted with special chalkboard paint. There’s a bag of chalk so you can pretty much graffiti as you want on the public board. It’s just full of messages and cutting edge wit and profanity. I’ve just added to the collection by scrubbing “James was here” (very original right), and a small picture of Homer Simpsons head.

A short man dressed casual clothes as though he is from Campbelltown looks onwards and tells me “Hey, let me draw you a picture!”. Ok, sure. I hand him my piece of chalk but realise its very short – about 1cm of it is left. I told him that there was heaps more chalk in the bag, but he ignored me and began to draw on the chalkboard, struggling not only due to the short nature of the piece of chalk, but also because he was short. By the end of it he has drawn something akin to this:

Guess what? yes. It's you.

Short Man: “Do you know what it is? Guess!”
James: I have no idea. A flying amoeba?
Short Man: “No! That’s an egg (points to the right hand side of the drawing), and (pointing now to the left) that’s a sperm, and those are heaps of sperm breaking into the egg! HAAHAHA”
You have to be messing with me right? That’s the act of fertilisation?
James: Oh, really?
Short Man: “You don’t see it?”
James: Kinda. (but not really)
Meanwhile my friend is watching on the entire time – he has no idea what is going on as the music masks our conversation. The Short Man gets back to the board and adds a few features to the drawing. Eventually the final form of the masterpiece is assembled:

The birds and the bees

Short man: “Look!! It’s really a sperm now! See? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
I am truly amazed about this piece of timeless art. The 21st century da Vinci has arrived, and this was his Mona Lisa. He was nuts.
James: Haha.. It’s an angry sperm, isn’t it?
Short Man: “Yes, it is!”
James: Yup, pretty angry!
We pretty much had a minute of complimenting how good his drawing was. It was pretty hard to refrain from laughing, but I managed to keep my cool.

Women of the 80′s
Dancing alone. Old lady came up and danced with me. Hooray! She was easily late 40′s early 50′s. She was also drunk, with her glass of “sparkling wine” in her hand. Maybe if I was 30 years older.. but not now.. Well, no longer will I go down that path again. 
We met a girl. It was her first time out in 8 years!!! Holy Baloney. I was underage back then. Wait.. no I wasn’t. I wasn’t clubbing back then though.. so that is ages ago. She needed to have a break from taking care of her two kids and blah blah blah blah blah.

I felt kind of depressed… and OLD.
Everyone is having fun, but now I have gotten to that point in life. You know, my dear older reader segment, that kind of point in life. Where you and the entire floor of 25+ year olds know the words to all the “retro” songs that are playing in the club, while the younger folk have no idea what you are singing. Yes.. exactly. Ace of base, Michael Jackson, Backstreet Boys.. oh the memories depress me. Despite me probably being one of the young ones here and looking like a teenager.. it was for me, I felt, the unofficial welcome to the oldies club. Never come here if you are still in your 20s in case you know all the songs.

Arrivederci
My friend lost his jacket in the top level. Looked around but couldn’t find it. Some lucky ghoul has it now. We left shortly after the top level died completely.

Recommendation
Always a safe bet if you are in costume and want to go clubbing where you are made to feel welcome. Much better if you are familiar with music from the various decades.

Saturdays @ The Retro Bristol Arms Hotel – 7.5/10

360 video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well this was the dancefloor. Everyone here is really old and I’m feeling very out of place. Two older women like our basic dancing. The other guys questioned what we were doing here.

The DJ looked about 40 or 50, and was playing a lot of retro songs.

Left out of boredom and shame.

In front of a brave Karaokeist @ The Harp of Erin, Wollongong

We have decided to spend a day in Wollongong to see the wildlife at night. We have been recommended by the locals to check out The Harp for pre-drinks, so here we go!

Saturdays @ The Harp of Erin Hotel, Wollongong NSW
Assessment Time: 22:15PM -23:30PM
Opening Hours: Unknown, but it is a bar, so typical bar hours, which would be 10am – 3am.
Website: http://www.harpoferin.com.au
Address: 124 Corrimal St, Wollongong NSW
Dress Code / Door Policy: anything goes. it is a bar, so most casual clothes can get away with it. Hats are not allowed in here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry for both the bar karaoke area as well as the dancefloor area.
Inside: Walking into the main entrance you are presented with the main room where there is a karaoke thing going on. Get up and sing! they say. The standing area holds 150 or so people, and there is a stage on the right, where you stand up to sing, or where a band can play. Bar is to the left. A wall divides this area from the second area – The second area has a central bar, surrounded by tables and stools. On one side is an enclosed area which is the dancefloor, and it is sligly elevated from the rest of the room. It holds about 60 or so people .
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Standard beer prices
Music: House music in the dance room. Typical bar karaoke music in the karaoke room. The types of music you will be subjected to range from rock to retro.
Crowd: Mostly locals, some sydneysiders – with most being caucasian.
Entertainment: Karaoke of course! But only in the karaoke room.
Atmosphere: Karaoke room – busy the whole time we were there. In the clubbing room, the general atmosphere in the bar was busy, but not packed. A good balance to allow us a bit of room to dance.
Video:360 view of the Karaoke Bar Side

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

To top it off, he even bought us drinks, though I didn’t really want to drink. I had to accept his gracious offer. Too friendly they are here.

With the friendly local giant

Taking over the floor quite quickly
We move to the other side ot the Harp, where the dancefloor is. The crowd on the floor are young white people – people who, are safe to assume, cannot dance. We stepped up and pretty much took over in a matter of moments. Taking over meaning a small area is reserved for us to dance and we have some people staring at us dance. Cheers from the crowd, we dance but we have other clubs to visit, so we have to leave.

Karaoke!
I must confess I have never done bar karaoke in front of a crowd. Well, we were in Wollongong – its just us boys, so who is going to care, right? I submitted a song of choice – “Pretty Fly (for a white guy)” by The Offspring. Well, after a good one hour, our song has not been put up yet, and we have to go. Booo! Maybe next time.

Arrivederci
Left because we had other clubs to hit, and this was just a bar for predrinks. Next destination is The Ivory.

Recommendation
If you are just here for the dancing floor component, it is not the best out there, but it isn’t crap. However it is surprisingly busy for a venue at this time before 11pm, so The Harp gets a 8.0 for the Karaoke side (purely in terms of atmosphere and not dancing – nobody was dancing here but everybody was singing), and a 5.5/10 for the Dancefloor side – if only the dancefloor area was bigger. It’s free entry so there isn’t harm in coming here first for pre-drinks

Outside line at The Retro Hotel Sydney

Saturdays @ The Retro Bristol Arms Hotel

Assessment Time: Midnight – 1am
Website: http://www.theretro.com.au
Address: 66 Sussex st Sydney ?
Dress Code: anything goes. Every weekend is a theme night.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free if you are dressed in theme. Otherwise it’s $20 (or $25)
Guestlist: guestlist@theretro.com.au
Inside: 3 levels of dance. Contemporary at the bottom, Retro in the middle, and old school rnb at th etop. We were only on the rnb floor most of the night so there wasn’t much to review about.
Cloak Room: None
Music: Dance and rnb, Retro from the 90s, 80s and early 2000s
Crowd: 20′s and 30′s crowd
Atmosphere: Most saturdays they have themed nights where people come in dressed up, and it adds to the atmosphere. Atmosphere is pretty party vibe like, and the nostalgic music gets you going.
360 video: This is of the top level.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
We weren’t here very long. Most of the time I was just looking for people to take random photos with:

It got pretty hot and stuffy on the top level, and we ended up drinking loads of water

Oh, and here’s the koala doing a dance:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Saturdays @ The Retro Bristol Arms Hotel – 8.0/10

About Home Nightclub:
Location: Cockle Bay wharf, Darling Habour
Website: http://www.homesydney.com
Inside: All rooms except the mid-wall room was open. Main room on the floor, with upstairs balcony area and 2nd bar. Outdoor smoking area connected to this. A 2nd smaller room on the 2nd level. 3rd level are 2 extra rooms. This place is a maze of rooms.

About Homemade Saturdays:
Assessment Time: 1.30am-3.30am
Dress Code: Casual ok. I was wearing my tuxedo from the wedding. You also get fingerprinted and photo scanned on the way in.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25
Guestlist: See website
Cloakroom: Yes, at the bar near at the DJ eng.
Bar: $12 yaberbombs.
Music: House in the main room. Can’t complain, all the commercial house tunes were being played. Actually it was executed quite well here. There was also a saxophone player to add another dimension to the music – much like the Bongo players at Bungalow  and Cargo Bar.

Supporting saxaphone player used to great effect with the music

RNB room – RNB of course – but I wasn’t there long enough.

Party tunes and retro at the top level. They seemed to have combined all the rooms into one major huge event.
Crowd: Mixed – Asians, Euros
Atmosphere: Party and vibing in the main room. However the other rooms seemed pretty dead. Especially the RNB room as nobody was there – it was the most dead room of them all. There were a hundred other places where you could have your proper rnb fix – and Home Nightclub doesn’t seem to be popular right now as the place to be for it.

360 from the main podium

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
Kicked off the podium by the sexist DJ
There are girls up at the front dancing. Drunk old me wants a dance too! I went up and danced for a good 50 seconds. Then I hear a:

DJ: “OI!”
James: (turns around)
DJ: “GET OFF THE STAGE – NOW!!!”
James: (jumps off stage)

Man.. what a cold DJ. Given, he probably has a lot of drunk guys coming up onto his stage, but fuck you anyway Mr DJ, even if you played really good beats. A minute later I have my female friend go up and dance, and there was no objections. Total sexism!!!

Recognized by girls I took a photo with 2 months ago
There are other girls up on stage. I am a pervert and I take photos of them. They see me and they recognize me:
Girls: ‘OMG! It’s you! You’re the sailor!!’

There was only one time previously I dressed up as a sailor – at an rnb Pajama Party 3 months ago, full of asians. But I did take a photo with 2 euro girls…

With 2 girls and Samurai man at the Pajama party

Ahh.. now I remember them! We take another photo. How on earth does someone recognize an Asian, from the million other Asians in sydney? I don’t know.. I thought we all looked the same !

The girls recognized me 3 months later. Amazing!

Though not as epic as the girl who recognized me 20 months later.. its rare that these things happen, and when they do happen, I never forget them.

Why I only danced in the main room:
The main room was where it was at. Huge elevated podium at the back, and lots of people. I took a break to see the other rooms. RNB room was so dead it wasn’t funny. Upstairs there was another house room, but it was an absolute sausage fest – no way I was going to dance in there.

The other retro room was dead as well. What WAS with Home lately, and why was it so dead?? Whatever happened to the days when Famous was here and it was totally packed? A shame as well nobody here liked the RNB room. The DJ mustv’e been suffering real bad.

RNB Room - Homemade Saturdays at Home Nightclub - oh its so dead

Swapping photo shots:
I looked up and some drunk idiots were waving down. I waved back. They waved even harder back at me. I took out my camera and took a photo of them. They took theirs out and took a photo of me. Pretty funny.

Randoms who took a photo of me. I took one back.

Coda
We left from exhaustion and hunger

Recommendation
You can spend $25 at a better spot for house – such as chinese laundry. I can’t recommend this place as somewher worth visiting unless you just hang around in the main room.. A shame, as last time I came here (when only half the rooms were open) it wasn’t too bad at all. Now that all rooms are open, people are more spread out.. and it gives a more sucky vibe. Hopefully in the future it would pick up.

Ly and I are visitng the Gold Coast. We just left The Bedroom nightclub, and we are following girls, being the single men that we are. Somehow, we ended up outside Melbas..  so here we go!

Melbas Nightclub

Assessment Time: 02:40am-04:30am
Website: http://www.melbas.com.au
Address: 46 Cavill Avenue, Surfers Paradise QLD
Door Policy / Dress Code: Casual OK
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: $10. Free if a guestlist was organised
Guestlist: Email info@melbas.com.au
Inside: Two levels. Ground has lengthy bar in the middle. Stools / tables everywhere. an outdoor seating area. Out the back is a dancefloor. Upstairs is more cosy. VIP area at back for private functions (?), 3 large podiums at the front dance area. 2 Poles to dance with. I can’t think of any place in Sydney that has poles! (The retro might have some but I can’t recall). Long bar on the side wall
Bar: Short to no lines, thanks to the huge bar. Pricing unknown as we scored free drinks all night.
Music: Downstairs is Retro / Classic music, while upstairs is primarily house but the occasional rnb/pop mashup as well.
Crowd: Dominantly White Aussie. I think me and Ly were the only asians here. No problem, as everyone was friendly here. People of all ages were about. It does remind me of The Retro Bristol Arms back in Sydney, but it seemed cooler here.

Melbas Nightclub - Upper Level

Video Tour:
Right after we got inside. Ground level and moving upstairs:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:

Bypassing the Entry Fee:
Girl: “$10″.
That was enough for me and Ly to not enter Melbas. It was almost 3am already. We walked out and bumped into a man:
Man: “Hey, do you want free entry into Melbas?”
Us: “sure!”
Man: “Here, put these on”
He gave us a MELBAS wristband each, and an extra two just because he didn’t need them. Surely there was a catch…
Man: “There’s no catch. Go upstairs and these wristbands will give you access to the bar tab all night”

SOMETHING IS WRONG, but how could we refuse so many free things? Walked up to the same girl, but this time we showed her our new wristbands
Girl: “Oh that’s strange…
Me: (gulps)
Girl: “… you haven’t got stamps! Let me stamp you”.

Wow. So we got stamped in for free!

Trying to get free drinks with our wristbands of power
We had our new power wristbands. So we marched upstairs to the bar and ordered some drinks.
Girl: “That’ll be $20″
So we waved her our wristbands
Girl: “Ill have to check with the manager”

She walked to the manager. He looked at us, and we madly shook our wristbands. We have the wristbands of power damnit!!
Manager nods his head.
Girl: “Manager says ok”
Yes! We had access to the bar tab!! So we plied ourselves with free drinks all night, thanks to a stranger on the street. What a nice place.

The VERY FIRST video of me dancing!
Dear Reader – if you have not danced with me yet, then you are about to see something spectacular – witness me dancing at a club, in the comfort of the internet!! I suppose it is about time a video was made of me.

Watch as I pick up two girls through the sheer power of DANCE:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ok, ok…  so that was pretty embarrassing. Though, dancing with me is an HONOUR, why don’t girls understand this?

Perhaps trying to dance with girls at 4am doesn’t come on as sleazy enough.

Bride to bes and her fetish
Pretty much the first girls to dance with us were a bride to be and her friends. Bride was fun, but her friends didn’t want to really dance with us. No love. I am looking through the photos, and she is holding her penis in every photo. Was this supposed to be a sign? I found it bizarrely funny:

Melbas Nightclub Gold Coast - With the bride and her favourite toy. She is also holding a penis thing.

Downstairs - pretty dead at 4am
We went downstairs as upstairs was dying. It was more dead down here though. Probably 10 people were left. All the guys were vulturing on the 2 or 3 women left. Sad, sad, sad.

We danced romantically to the song “and …I had, the time of my life…” to the entertainment of the bar staff, then we left.

Coda
Through sheer exhaustion we left at 4.30am to go to the beach. The place upstairs was still busy. I’m not sure what this place is like at peak hour, but I would assume it is very packed – I would recommend this place for the older crowd who like their retro and house, while still being able to get away from the 18 year olds.

She said she could have listed at least 4 other places where the birthday girl could have celebrated her 40th. She refused to tell me though, but she hinted at one place where you have dinner and later a DJ comes out and plays some party tunes (somewhere in the Cross), but other than that, she didn’t give me any names.

WHERE ARE THESE OTHER PLACES???

Pavillion – Two girls in the front, 4 on the side, and indian guys for the rest of the people on here. DJ was playing west coast rap. My favourite anthems were being played (Dr Dre,  Snoop Dogg, etc). A crazy indian was dance-cracking onto the two girls in the front. He was out there, just shaking his body loose. I wondered where my energy was tonight. I think I get intimidated by other good dancers in a desolate setting.

Shark Bar/Hotel – I walked in and there was nobody on the floor. I was about to leave, but they started to play “Push it” by Salt N Pepa. I love this song so I *had* to get up there. So I jumped up and did a little boogie to the song, to the amusement of everybody staring at the elevated dancefloor in the middle. Everyone who looked at me I looked back, and they would stare away. A group of people at the very back took a photo of me and waved hi. The song ended and I ran off.

Spectrum – My usual friends had gone home, so I met up with the French backpackers for some dance. We checked out Spectrum first. Free entry. House. We went upstairs and it was *dead* as. A handful of people dancing, a handful of people sitting down, a small room, and that was it. I don’t think this was meant to be a place for clubbing. Reminded me like an oxford st version of Manning Bar at USYD. I can’t imagine that place being a place for clubbing. We left quite quickly.

We then stumbled upon Oxford Art Factory and settled in..

After Work Art Fridays @ The Oxford Art Factory (Art After Dark) (29th May 2009)

Note: This review is primarily for the ‘Art After Dark’ Room’, and not the ‘Live Art Space’ where a cover charge applied.

About Oxford Art Factory (assessment time 1.30am)
Address: 38-46 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
The Bar: Jugs of beers and cocktails offered for a reasonable price.
Website: http://www.oxfordartfactory.com
Inside: Walking downstairs, there are two rooms:

Live Art Space: Carpeted area with central wooden dancefloor, with DJ up on stage. At the back is an elevated area where more lounges exist. It was mostly dancefloor space.

Live Art Space - Oxford Art Factory (image oxfordartfactory.com)

Art After Dark: (where we were) A further flight of stairs down takes you to this room. It’s pretty small, holding about 100 people max. A bar as well here. The room has a high ceiling length, and a big TV on one end of the wall. It’s been painted white, which is different. Tonight there were only lounges along the wall, and not sticking out as in the picture.

Art After Dark Bar - Oxford Art Factory - This is where we hung out (image oxfordartfactory.com)

About After Work Art Fridays: (assessment time 1.30am)
Entry Fee/Cover Charge: Free for the Art After Dark Bar, $15 for the DJ in the Live Art Space Room tonight. After 3am it was free for all.
Crowd / Dress Code: Artsy types. People in their 20′s and 30′s. Lots of hats around. anything goes.
Atmosphere: I was expecting not many people to be here, so guess how surprised I was when I saw the whole room packed! Well, it was 1.30am, and it was a small area, but usually at an average to bad venue, 1.30am is when people start going home. So overall it was a good sign.
Music: Art After Dark Bar – Earlier in the evening there were live bands playing, but we missed that. So when we arrived, the band area was cleared and there was a DJ playing a mix of music across pop, rnb, retro and rock. Basically a bit of everything, and each upcoming song would be of a different genre. Somehow though the crowd was fully right into every song being played.

Live Art Space – DJ Sega (USA) was the main act playing tonight, (Indie). I didn’t get to check him out. Later another DJ was playing around 3am, with some dubstep beats, and another artist came up for some raps where I could practise some krumpin on the very open dance floor. The crowd here were all the hardcore types left, so everybody was into it.

Timeline

Not much dance room
Because of the TINY amount of room and the way in which the room was designed, our group of 8 people basically took up the middle section of the floor area. This meant every person walking in and out to the toilets or the bar had to go through our circle or around us. So basically the entire time our circle would be interrupted and I was, at least, constantly shuffling back and forth, with people hitting into us and spilling some beer onto each of us. Also because of the room, there weren’t many other large circles.. usually a max of 4 people would be per circle. Also I couldn’t pull off any crazy antic dance moves!! It was really cramped, but not shoulder to shoulder, I had about 20cm of room around me.

Boobs! (So your loyalty to this blog has paid off)
The screen in this room was playing some movie from the 80′s (You could tell by the hairstyles – it could have been the 70s). When we got in, there was a zoom in of a woman’s boobs, and someone was fondling them, just to test out to see how bouncy they were. A minute later, a couple are having a cigarette on the sofa, while the woman, still topless,  starts dancing behind them!!  It was the most bizarre film clip, but she was a pretty good dancer with her arm movements. Her boobs stayed bouncy throughout the dance routine.

I look up a few moments later and I see a naked man lying on bed, his bum crack towards the camera. gross. Back to dancing. Look up again after another few minutes, and there’s a young man and her partner – and guess what she’s doing – SHE’S TYING A CLOTH AROUND HIS DICK LIKE A BOWTIE!! What the hell! What kinda stuff is this??? He then stands up , with this cloth dangling from his dick, and he stands behind the bedpost. That was all. So bizarre!

It wasn’t surprising that there were couples making out everywhere in the room.

I wore casual. I am rewarded with solo dancing.
We mostly stayed within our circle through the night. A friend dances around with his bald head and basically gets all the attention! Damn. I had nothing. No wig, no hat, just my shirt, jeans and dodgy sneakers – I was very casual and  quite content just dancing it out on my own. Everyone else was dressed their own style. Crazy hairdos, different fashion styles.. half the crowd wearing hats – it would have been quite difficult to attract attention. Only later in the night near closing time, the music became..  I don’t know.. I wasn’t too into it anymore and wanted to just dance it out in the other room.

Coda
We all get kicked out of the Live Art room around 4am. Music was still going in the Art After Dark Bar but nobody was dancing. We were all buggered and left, quite happy with this  place. I liked this place and would recommend it if you like all sorts of music, don’t mind crowded packed small  bars, and mingling it up with the artsy types. You know who you are.

Pumphouse
Location: 17 Little Pier St, Darling Harbour
Website: http://www.pumphouse.com.au

Inside: 2 floors. Top floor was just a gallery / patio section to allow viewing of activities downstairs, and to relax. IT gave the whole place a hall-like feel. Bottom floor was a medium sized floor which could hold probably 70 or so people. Lounges in the back, and two podiums in the middle.

Event:  Static
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Discount on guestlist before midnight, $25 otherwise.
Opening: 10pm-4am
Attire / Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual accepted. Hats accepted. I got in past the bouncers without hassle.
Crowd: Asian
Music: RNB / Hip Hop / House (I didn’t hear any)
Typical tunes were more on the hip hop side – i.e. none of that slow slow rnb stuff. It was all pumping, it was all good.
Atmosphere: People were dancing, jumping, and people were sitting. I suppose if you were sitting down you wouldn’t have had a good time. There weren’t that many people (its a small place), nethertheless the energy was definitely there.

Timeline
I was at the register. The people in front were guestlisted and when it got to me “SORRY! Guestlist has ended!”. It was midnight Arghh nooo if only I got here earlier!! Shame on me for playing two extra Guitar Hero songs before I got here. I grudgingly handed out the $25, knowing i wouldn’t be here long..

Bopping with a lifelong friend
I found the birthday boy.  We’ve known each other since I was born. This was the first night we’ve hit a club together. So the whole time, he’s got his arm around me so tight.. so happy to see me. Likewise, it was good to see him too! There wasn’t much room to manouvre around, so basically we stood there, screaming out various ‘yeahs!’ and ‘woos!’ to the music, while I had my finger poking the sky. It was a simple affair. However, didn’t get the chance to waltz around and dance / meet others.

Podium dancers – MEN!
I like my podium dancers, and I ilke my podiums – but at this event, they had TWO GUYS as dancers!! They seemed to enjoy themselves. They were doing the hip hop thing. It was something different, but we all prefer scantily clad chicks, don’t we? I wonder if I could apply for a spot, and show off my average dance moves.

Coda (12:40am)
I was inside for a total of 40 minutes. That’s a rate of $37.50/hr to dance. *dies*. It wasn’t so bad with my friend around. I head down to Brooklyn for my next stop.

I am would only recommend this place unless you love your hip hop/rnb, your dancing.. and only if you go with friends.