Police shut it down for an unknown reason. Patrons were pissed off, and I was a little upset as well as I had literally just got there when everyone started getting kicked out. It’s 11:30PM, in the middle of bloody Parramatta.. nowhere close to any club (The Albion has been done so many times now).

Hopped back into the car. Considered going home, but I verbally assaulted myself into driving out towards the bright lights of the CBD, in the search for any decent place that was open…

Sunday Night Nightclub Search: (over the course of 1 hour):
Star Bar: No DJ nor people. Dead.
3 Wise Monkeys: Wildcatz Rock band night – no dance music. Dead.
Cheers: Dead with a population of 20. Dead.
Scubar – closed. Dead.
Side Bar: Non-Dance night. Dead.
World Bar:  Two rooms but only about 15 people per room. 2 of those people were women. aka Dead.
Trademark Hotel: Closed. Dead.

The only places left that looked decent were Hugos, The Piano Room (from the outside), and Goldfish, which happened to have Groove Terminator as their guest DJ. Oh hell yeah, GT, a personal favourite of mine! Let’s do it.

Martini Club Sundays @ Goldfish Lounge, Kings Cross
Assessment Time: 1:00AM – 4:00AM
Opening Hours: 6PM – Late (Definitely past 5AM)
Lockout: Unknown, possibly none.
Address: 111 Darlinghurst Rd, Kings Cross (at the corner traffic light where the Coke sign is). Google Maps: http://g.co/maps/jjb8b
Venue Website: http://www.thegoldfish.com.au/kingscross
Promoter Website: Self promoted
Occurrence: Every Sunday night.
Outside Line: There was a group of 3 drunk guys trying to get in, and they were rejected. Other times that I checked, there was virtually little to no line.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Tonight is pretty easy going with the Dress Code. Hats are okay, casual attire is okay, and later in the night two ladies in heavy make up and costume were allowed in as well (angel wings, chainsaws, or something). More than half the guys tonight are wearing just t-shirts rather than collared shirts. Some singlets are spotted here as well. The girls are generally well dressed, but not all are glamarous, there are some just casually dressed women here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: N/A
Inside: Walk inside to open up the back area of the bar. To the left are lounges for 3-4 small groups of people. to the right are tables, stools. Further up left is the outdoor smoking area which remains behind the mesh-like wall facing the pathway. Right in the middle of this back room area is the bar, which is manned by 4 or 5 staff members at a time. On the far right are 2 areas for lounges. In the front room area is the dancefloor area. This is almost a circular like area where there are lounges lining the walls and disco balls dotting the ceiling. Actual dancefloor room could hold 25 comfortably upto about 40 people. A small elevated podium exists for the band to play later is cleared out to make room for a dancing podium for the patrons (it could hold about 8 people). Behind the podium sits the DJ set in the corner of the room.

Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: $9 for a GT (Gin and Tonic, get it?… GT?… Pah.)
Bathroom Facilities: Still the same as before. It’s a unisex bathroom! But before you get ANY ideas – the unisex bathroom is manned by a staff member to make sure you don’t get upto any hanky panky, as well as ensuring that you women don’t get raped or something. The hand washing thing with a foot pedal is still awesome, and easy to use. There is even a waiting lounge chair in the corner while you wait for your friend to finish doing his number 1, 2 or 3.
Eviction Count: None. Most people were quite well behaved.
DJs: Groove Terminator, aka one half of Tonite Only was the main act tonight (1:40AM – 3:40AM). Martini Club, There was also another DJ after (3:40AM onwards) Groove Terminator finished, but no idea what his name was.
Music Style: Martini Club set: (early in the night – 1:30AM) The resident band were playing live versions of popular Top 40 music – with the lead singer most of the lyrics, backed up with a drummer, guitarists, and DJ’s behind. The crowd always love this live version of music. Groove Terminator (1:40AM – 3:40AM): GT played an Old School set – which pretty much gave him the excuse to play all of Tonite Only’s hits (which I bloody love), as well as their remixes and anything else with their name stamped on it. Also some other classic commerical House music songs were thrown in as well.
Crowd: A mix of backpackers and local people. Keep in mind as well that tonight is Sunday, so there would easily be a higher ratio of backpackers who don’t work to locals who do have to work. The backpackers are less rowdy than that of classical bars such as World Bar, but there was some douche who thought it would be nice to smoke inside. Piss that smoke off away from my clothes and hair. Ages varied wildly here from young 20 year olds to 40++ year olds. Around 30% I’d say of the people here were over 30.
Ratio: Upon entering, the ratio was about 2:1 and it got worse at around 3AM to 3:1 Guys to girls.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment. The main act tonight was GT
Atmosphere: The floor was always busy but not packed where you were squished – everyone had a little room to dance. It’s quite dark as well in here and often due to the small area and overhead, it could get warm quite quickly if you were dancing heaps.
Video: I got the timestamps wrong in the music sample video

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Too romantic
It’s only midnight and the vibe is pretty good… for couples. FML At one point I was surrounded on all four sides by a couple dancing away, making out… you know, doing coupley things. Just gross out. Well, I was a little jealous but seriously, yuck.

The Indian Mac
Well, I’m not sure if he was Indian or Sri Lankan, but there was a guy who just stood there and macked on all the girls. He had the cojones, but not quite the charm. Especially when he was sweating profusely. However the important bit was he had cojones. Respect. I don’t think he understood what the word “no” meant.

Arrivederci

Left soon after GT finished the set.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
Not a place for real clubbing, but a pretty nice place to bring your partner or a small group of friends, if you aren’t really into the doof doof and want more of a lounge setting with a side dancefloor to go with it.

Martini Club (Sunday Nights) @ Goldfish Lounge, Kings Cross Sydney: (For the chilled out type) – 7/10

Timeline
How my genes almost got me into a fight
Standing there in my tux and sunnies. A man approaches me:
Man: “I like your glasses”
James: “Thanks!”
Man: “What’s your background? I’m from Beirut”
James: “I’m Vietnamese/Chinese”
Man: “Nah, You’re Korean, right?”
James: “Nah, I’m not”
Man: “Nah, you’re definitely Korean. I have been to Korea.”
James: “haha. Nah, I am Vietnamese”
Man: “Nah, you’re Korean! ” 어떻게 지내? ”
James: “Huh?? No, I’m not Korean”
Man: “Don’t lie to me. YOU ARE KOREAN”
James: “No, I’m not Korean” 
Man: “Don’t sh*t me. I know a Korean when I see one. I’m not stupid! ”어떻게 지내?!!!!!!!!”
James: “What? No, not Korean. You’re wrong.”
Man: “You say you are not Korean. You think I am stupid?? YOU THINK I AM STUPID?!? Just stay away from me, Korean! I don’t want to talk to you. I’m not stupid! F*ck off!!”

Wow…………. ! This guy is big time serious hellbent on proving to me that I am Korean. Are you kidding me? This guy has LIVED IN KOREA for crying out loud! Not once in my entire recollection of playing the “guess what nationality I am” game has anybody ever guessed that I was Korean… KOREAN. Seriously. It’s a well known stereotype that Koreans have narrower eyes than other Asian nationalities. I have pretty round eyes for an Asian.  I felt like Iraq, the innocent country with no weapons of mass destruction, before I got invaded by G. W. Bush. Luckily tonight there was no invasion, and I just walked away.

The Proof
Well, I am here to prove to you that I don’t even look REMOTELY KOREAN! So I Google Image searched for “Sexy Korean Guy” and found this picture of a Sexy Korean Guy.

Now here is a picture of me in a dark club setting recently at Haymarket Hotel with a blog reader, who is actually Korean. Compare me to aforementioned Sexy Korean Guy.

At Haymarket Hotel a few weeks ago with blog reader Kevin

Do you see any similarities? DO YOU?? I don’t either! Me and Sexy Korean Guys do not look the same at all. Therefore it is plain to see that I am not a Sexy Korean Guy. Most important is that I am not Korean bit. I have no shred of Korean in me. I despise Korean BBQ. I hate Soju on its own and rely on drinking it diluted with lemonade. I love Bimbibap though. That’s besides the point – I am simply not Korean. So to the blind wanker from Lebanon who thinks I am Korean, I would forgive you if you had never been to Korea, but you actually HAVE been to Korea, and you can actually speak Korean! You, sir, are a douchebag.

People like our dancing
We dance, and there are flashes around. I point my camera and spot an Asian couple sitting down, taking photos of us dancing. They think we are awesome, and I drag them up to dance. They’re here for a birthday. Fun times and we dance with their rowdy group. Their men hit on our girls, while we have nobody to hit on in return. Now that’s not really fair.

In the second half of the night as we dance like aborigines, another couple take photos of us. They love our dancing, but are unwilling to dance with us. They are happy to take photos and then upload it to facebook the next day instead. Nooo worries.

Keep your friends close..
Me and the girl are dancing hands held. Suddenly out of nowhere, a guy jumps in, holds my hand and holds the girls hand. It’s now three of us dancing, and I’m holding a guys hand. Awkward. I looked up to see who it was – you would not believe who was holding my hand – It’s the man from Beirut again! All joking aside, this was no joke. I am currently holding the hand of someone who almost got into a fight with me. This was now really freaking awkward. Like when a mother walks in on you masturbating, but worse.

I thought this guy told me to ‘f*ck off’ earlier? His intentions are revealed when he started Korean to the girl. This Korean thing must be his pick up line. Well, actually, the girl was Korean (LOL) so they had a little chit chat and then to make things worse, another drunk dude from another group joined in, and held my other hand. YES, another dude, caught up in my awesomeness, decided to hold my hand. I was now holding hands with two grown men. I could feel the fun being sapped out of me. It’s such a strange feeling and I felt really embarrassed. Please get me out of here’. Finally the song ended and I dragged the girl away to another spot at the bar. Totally over it.

Arrivederci
Left at closing time. The outside closed about an hour-30 minutes before close, before lights are slowly dimmed back up until 4:00AM

Recommendation
A nice place to have drinks by the harbour and for a dance. A general safe bet for a mixed group of people who aren’t into too much of the clubbing scene, but also want a place to drink and socialise amongst somewhat friendly company.

Saturdays @ Cargo Bar – 6.0/10

I Love Uni White Party - Home Nightclub

I’ve been asked to check this University event out. A combined effort of all the universities, targeted for students who had just had their first O-Week. Well, considering my own O-week was about 8 years ago, I was wondering whether I should go. Then.. on the promo poster were the magic words: “WHITE PARTY”. Can anybody say GANDALF DA WHITE IS BACK??!! Got my dancing partner C to come along and so off we set our dancing merry feet – here we go!

I Love Uni White Party @ Home Nightclub

Assessment Time: 11:00pm – 3:00am
Opening Hours: 9:30pm – late (4-5am?)
Website: http://www.homesydney.com.au
Address:  Cockle bay wharf, Darling Harbour, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: White attire only. However people who were not wearing white were still allowed in, despite warnings that people were not going to be allowed in.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $15 presold tickets (sold out). $25 at the door. The girl at the counter liked my outfit and I asked for a discount for having such an ‘awesome’ outfit.  She lowered my entry fee to $20. Score!
Guestlist: none
Inside: The White Party event was for the main arena room to hold 500 or so people. All the other rooms were closed. Later after midnight, the other trance / house / rock band rooms were opened up for the general public.
Cloak Room: Did not utilise cloak room today.
Bar: Didn’t drink tonight
DJ: Unknown.
Music: RnB initially in the main room. After around midnight, a change of DJ’s and an opening of doors to the public for sublime ensure the RnB was killed, and house and trance/ house took over for the rest of the night. It was strange because at one point in the night, a singer came out and sang some house songs, it was so bloody bizarre – how could people dance to this?? The small room upstairs was also used for a local rock band gig. I have never seen it done like this – what has happened to Sublime?? I was disappointed in one’s choice of music selection to dance to after the rnb stopped.
Crowd: Lots of asians for the rnb component, with a sprinkle of other nationalities. Almost all are uni students. Of course, as rnb is killed, the rnb lovers left and the ratio became a mixed bag of everything – Whites, Asians, Indians.
Entertainment: MC and professional male dance crews. Wow, they actually *do* hire men to dance. They were more house dancers but were pretty good at what they did.
Atmosphere: Main room was always happening. The other rooms later in the night were only so so. The sublime room was the only other somewhat happening room for the trance lovers.

Video: – 360 view at around 2am,
Taken by C – you can see me for 2 seconds dancing with a random dude

Click here to view the embedded video.

Keep reading on for Gandalf’s adventures!

Timeline

Gandalf is back
It’s been 10 weeks since I took over Sensation White Melbourne.. and now it was time to take over Australia’s largest club. (yeah, it really is the largest one). As I line up, people in line are pretty much staring at my awesome outfit. People left right centre are taking photos of me and with me, and I still haven’t stepped into the club yet! I think the outfit is alright. I still like my pirate one better.

No usyd represent?!
This was a joint university thing. There were placards everywhere with “I <3 UNSW”, “I <3 UTS”, and “I <3 MACQ” .. but where was “I <3 USYD”??? Nowhere, my friend. I couldn’t find any placards. What a travesty!! Well, someone has to represent!

Photobooth is designed to steal your money.
Met some girls and we jumped into the photobooth for photos. It’s 8 dollars!! Jesus H. Christ what a rip off. So in goes 1 dollar, 2 dollars.. a few more.. until it says there is $1.50 left. Chuck in a dollar and it doesn’t accept it. Throw another $2 coin and it just swallows it. Oh my god.. what a crafty little machine this was… eating our money and yet not producing photos!! What a load of horseshit! Meanwhile, immature teenage boys keep peeking into the booth, praying that we are having an orgy of some sorts. Ha, one can only dream.

I have many many fans. Most of them guys.
A lot of guys come up and say things like ‘awesome outfit’, ‘can I have a photo?’, ‘JESUS!’, or anything along those lines. I like them, I take photos and usually we part. But shit, this one particular guy followed me around half the night! After we had our photo I dug into the main room and beelined to the middle. I turn around he is right behind me, following me! Fair enough, so I stop, but he stops as well. He wants to hang out and dance with Gandalf. My golly gosh. Biggest grin on his face everytime I looked back at him. He’s a fan of me, big deal. I had a suspicion he could have been gay, but I will never know.

He stalked me around the place

Getting up on main stage.
People are jumping up on stage and a random girl I met has jumped up for dance. Other people who are trying to get up are promptly taken down by security. I decide to give it a try, since I have the best outfit tonight and all. I crawl up onto the stage and stand up in front of the crowd. Everyone cheers, but within 2 seconds the security detail tell me to get off. So so unfair. Meanwhile the random girl is left ALONE up on stage to dance. She isn’t even dancing. I would call it swaying her body left and right, with the occasional booty bump to add flavour. She was obviously loving this attention. Godamn some things in life are unfair. One day I will be allowed up on stage!!

More guys follow me to take leftovers
Most places I went in the main room, guys are following me. I am noticing a trend. Girls come up to me and talk, and then these guys are swooping in left right and centre to be my wingman. I didn’t ask for this! Oh well, what are you going to do.

Girls don’t like hairy guys
I love this outfit. I walked by a few girls (and this only happens with girls) .. and you can see the look on their face as I walk by. Their entire face screws up into the ‘what the f*ck?’ look, or occaisionally a girl would turn around and see me coming – they literally YELP in shock / fright about this menacing wizard walking past. It’s quite entertaining for me. haha

Boob Squeeze War!
Yeah, a random girl squeezes my boobs without permission. I find that unfair, so I naturally grabbed and squeezed her boobs back without asking her. She REELED BACK in horror and gave me the DIRTIEST look ever. hahahahahahhahahaa..  how does it go – eye for an eye?

.. so take off all your robes
It was getting hot in here, so off went the cape and wigs. I felt like a free man. Meanwhile the wigs and cape sit near a group of 8 or so asians, who stare at me, C and her friend dance. They are literally gawking at us. I would probably have been doing the same thing back when I was 18/19, praying one day I could dance like that.

Getting pretty hot.. took off the beard

anyway they seem bored and decide to do what any normal bored person does at a club – PUT ON SOMEONE ELSE’S OUTFIT. Second thing I know, there is a guy with my wig, beard and cape on. It’s funny, but I have to keep a close eye on it – I don’t want to get this stuff stolen. They seem friendly enough and we take some happy snaps. They can’t dance though, which was a shame.

He put on my white outfit without asking - it suits him though

Here’s an extra video of a raver at the Sublime room:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci
C and friend want to leave at 2am, primarily of the bizarre music that was now playing, but Gandalf convinces them to stay another hour, and we leave 3am.

Recommendation

First half rnb was good. Everyone is in the party mood. However only the main room was open at this time for the rnb lovers. Still was a good atmosphere.

I Love Uni @ Home Nightclub (upto midnight) – 7.5/10

Second half is where the sublime / Oh My! crowd came in.. mixed feelings – all rooms were opened up and the choice of music you want to dance to was wide open, but the crowd just wasn’t there. There were not enough people to fill all rooms up. It was busy, but not like you would expect on an old ‘Famous’ Saturday night when it was truly at capacity. If the ‘I Love Uni’ was not on earlier – I am pretty sure the place would have been pretty dead. The trance room was a sad sight – I wish more people were into it – however the people inside were friendly and just danced away.

Oh My / Sublime @ Home Nightclub Sydney – 5/10

A female native american indian - Future Music Festival Sydney 2010

All week it was raining. Forecast was raining. We bought tickets months ago, but on the day.. HALLELUJAH! Big old sun was out and about, kicking clouds’ ass. I put on my American Indian outfit, got some pre-drinks at a friends place and off we went – here we go!

Future Music Festival @ Randwick Racecourse Sydney

Assessment Time: 4pm – 10pm
Website: http://www.futuremusicfestival.com.au
Address: Royal Randwick Race Course, Randwick, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: anything goes. Everybody wore sunnies. I wore an American Indian outfit.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $100 FR, $120 SR, $145 FR for GA Tickets
Inside: 7 or so massive dance areas. It’s a freaking racecourse. Well its not the course itself, but all the pavillions and surrounding grasslands.
Cloak Room: There was one but I was too lazy to walk to the other side of the course to put it in there
Bar: $10.50 for smirnoff ice cans. They’ve upped it from $10!! Dodgy. Both times we waited about 10-15 minutes for our drinks. Limit of 2 drinks per person.
DJs/Acts: Prodigy. Most epic set I have been to (I havent been to many). I was pretty much situated a good 200 or 300 metres so from the stage, and the whole area was still jumping up and down like a moshpit through all the songs. I missed every other main act, but they included David Guetta, Empire of the Sun, Sven Vath, Boys Noize, Dubfire, and Booka Shade from memory.
Music: House, Trance, Electronica
Crowd: Mixed bag of everything. Mostly caucasians if you wanted to classify.
Entertainment: Roller disco, Rides, free shots of drinks, and lots of other stuff we didn’t discover that day.
Weather: Sunny all day. Perfect.
Atmosphere: very good. The weather was great and provided for a good mood for everyone involved.

Future Music Festival Sydney Videos:

Me doing drunken cartwheels

Click here to view the embedded video.

Read on for more heaps more videos and the Timeline

Pod Room 360

Click here to view the embedded video.

The crowd outside
There are just people freaking everywhere you go.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Green Room 360

It’s a small room, i think sponsored by an energy drink. anyway we were so freaking thirsty from the alcohol, we took whatever energy drink we could. Nice.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Starfuckers stage 360 + “I Gotta Feeling” Black Eyed Peas

Click here to view the embedded video.

Silent Disco Area (a bit redundant as the camera is outside listening range of any of the music)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Prodigy were the only act we managed to catch the whole day. The rest of the day was spent just walking around the whole place. Needless to say, the entire set had the crowd constantly jumping up and down, and even though we were about 200 metres back, where we were.. it still felt like we were pretty close to the stage. Pretty awesome. Whatever energy we had left was all spent after this. I tried to go closer to the stage, and cut off a girl. She got pretty angry at me, grabbed my headpiece and threw it to the ground.

Prodigy – “Breathe”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Prodigy – “Omen”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Prodigy – “Invaders Must Die”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Hey! How are you? Hey! How are you?
The above title was my greeting for everyone I met today. Someone at the bus stop saw me and had blessed me with it. Love it. I’ve come dressed as Chief Breaking Wind, the dancing native American Indian.

Lining up
As with any festival, unless you’re in the VIP line, you’re thrown in with everyone else. At first glance the line appeared huge, but thanks to 6 entry gates where we were, the line up only took about 20 minutes. I must say though for bathrooms – Future Music Festival has some of the shortest lines for any festival. There were even some areas where there was no line at all. Amazing. They had portaloos everywhere you go. It’s amazing, and a job well done for Future Entertainment.

Losing friends
Initially it was 6 of us. After about 10 minutes, we got split and it was just me and my buddy Crabs left. Despite the constant SMS back and forth ‘where are you’, “i am here”, we never found each other for the rest of the day.

Apparently not the last Mohican
Honestly I thought I would be the only one dressed up as a native american, but what I forgot was the fact that Empire of the Sun were playing.. and if you don’t know, Empire of the Sun LOVE wearing their Indian American Headpieces. So, the fans were out in force:

Die Hard Fans of Empire of the Sun

another American Indian Friend of Mine

Roller Disco with two randoms
In my drunken haze I grabbed a woman and danced with her. We became friends, and she had her guy friend as well. So it was us 4 (including Crabs), and we decided to go to the roller disco! It was awesome fun.

Everyone fell, except me:
I have never been on roller skates, but I used to rollerblade when I was a child… and I can hold my own with ice skates, so skating around on skates was ok for me. My friends though, STACKED IT HARD. Hilarious.

Here’s a poster we found on the ground:

This is how we roll!

Crabs loses his shoes
We returned to the shoe area. The way it works is that you leave your shoes under the chair and skate, then come back. Well, once we came back, Crabs shoes appeared to be missing. We could not find them – someone had stolen them!! So I urged my friend to steal someone elses shoes, which he did, and thus the chain of shoe thieving continued.. hahaha

Getting Married
My friend Crabs has a priest outfit. He married me and a girl in the Silent Disco room, but she refused to kiss. what kind of marriage is that? Later I married a guy in the same room, but I don’t remember this – it is only what Crabs has told me afterwards.

We got married by Crabs the priest

We also missed the entire David Guetta set cause were lost track of time, but apparently one of the speakers in the back had stopped working, so people standing at the back had a shitty time. Meanwhile, we were dancing it out hard in the Silent Disco room!

Dehydration
Drunk, Tired, and we had only been drinking alcohol. Bad recipie, cause i was so freaking parched. Once I got my hands on a tiger woods gatorade outside the venue I gulped that thing down so fast it wasnt funny. Neeless to say there was a water station somewhere, but the place is so big we didn’t walk by it.

Arrivederci
After the Prodigy set everyone was kicked out. The lines were too long for a bus, so we walked to The Entertainment quarter (Fox studios) where taxis were dropping off party goers for the Mardi Gras party at Hordern.

Recommendation
Pretty good. Nice weather, nice crowd, nice music.. everything nice. Wish the bar prices were cheaper.

Future Music Festival Sydney 2010 – 9.5/10

Homebake: Standing outside the Main Arena

Homebake Sydney 2009 @ The Domain

Assessment Time: 15:30pm – 11:00pm
Opening Times: 12:00pm – 11:00pm
Website: http://www.homebake.com.au
Address: Royal Botanic Gardens, Mrs Macquaries Road, Sydney.
Dress Code: anything goes. I wore an orange jumpsuit. Everybody else was pretty casual, and being summer, it was lots of shirts, hats and skirts.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Tickets were $99
Inside: Four or five areas. Most of the big acts were in the two main areas – the Main Stage and the Big Top, which is just a huge tent kind of thing. Food stalls inside, and a merry go round swinging thing. In the middle is a huge grass area to sit down. Plenty of toilets.
Cloak Room: $5
Bar: $10 smirnoffs. Lines were extremely long today.
Food: Rip off. $5 bottles of water. $7 hot chips, $5 Hot Dogs, $12 Salt and Pepper Squid
Acts: Powderfinger, Jet, Hilltop Hoods, Eskimo Brojo, Sia, Daniel Merriweather, Midnight Juggernauts, Sarah Blasko, A Special Best Of Performance By Tim Finn, Closure In Moscow, Short Stack, Phrase, Decoder Ring, Bumblebeez, Tumbleweed (Original Line-Up), Eddy Current Suppression Ring,  The Funkoars, The Middle East, The Aston Shuffle, Sugar Army, Record Producer, Shockone
Music: It’s all Australian music today.
Entertainment: The merry go round provided entertainment, as well as some of the small stores for tattoos or typical carnival like things. In between acts on the main stage, the TV screens would play some funny clips of people rendering their versions of popular songs.
Crowd: Dominantly White Australian. I probably spotted a total of 7 or 8 other asians the whole day.
Atmosphere: Throughout the day the good weather provided a very good atmosphere. This was a sold out event so there were just people everywhere, walking around, doing their thing. There was enough room to find your own spot in the grass and relax as well. The atmosphere at the two main stages was always pretty packed. I would say it was more intense in the Big Top than the main arena – it could have been because the Big Top had more acts which were ‘dance’ or crowd oriented. People in the Big Top were likely to dance and jump up and down. The Main Stage.. people just stood around singing along.

Acts seen:

Hilltop Hoods
Probably the best act we went to today. They got the crowd going, and the crowd of course, went with it. Lots of chanting, and played a lot of stuff from their new album. Luckily I have a copy of their album. Also the screens behind them had pretty awesome animations. Here’s a video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

During the act there was also a random balloon floating around. On closer inspection, it was actually a blown up condom. But we could see that there was sperm along the inside of the walls. Someone had blown up a used condom. This was disgusting.

condom crowd surfing

Phrase
I didn’t know many of his songs, but it was a very good vibe inside the big top as well. At the end of it he event went crowd surfing, lol:

Phrase crowd surfing video

Click here to view the embedded video.

Jet
We sat on the grass – the lead singer sounded like he was yelling throughout. Even though we sat at the back, it could be felt that it was a pretty powerful and rocking set.

Powderfinger
All day we were waiting for this act, but it ended up being only average. Some of the new songs played I did not know yet. They played a song and wanted the crowd to sing along. They put the words on the screen, but the words were only published one word at a time. Not only that, each word was up for half a second, and it was 1 second out of sync of the band. It was a total fail and nobody ended up singing along to the song. Other than that, the more famous songs got the crowd going well. I heard they were breaking up after their current set of shows were completed, but they seemed to be ok.

Powderfinger “Got you on my mind / Summertime” video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Other things
I get a Hottie tattoo

The first thing we did was end up at the fake tattoo place. Place is a rip off at $20 but we got one anyway. I get ‘Hottie’, while my male friend gets Love Hearts on his neck, lol.

Homebake hottie!

Went on the ride of spinning fun
I haven’t been on one of these in about 10 years, so for the cheap price of $8, I could sit on this thing. I was pretty scared on this thing!! It didn’t help that my friend tells me about how a girl once had the chains on her chair broken off , and she fell to her death.

The outfit
It’s an orange jumpsuit with the words “Easy Jail” on the back. We sticky tape extra words on it .. see pics below.

Nobody wants photos with me
This was probably the least successful outfit i’ve had. Probably only 2 or 3 people wanted to take photos with me

Guys slap my ass, and I am called out to be put into jail
This was probably the most successful outfit i’ve had to pick up guys. On the back I had my Name, and my phone number. After 9 guys took down my number, I decided to remove the mobile phone bit.I also had many, many random guys slap my ass or proposition me.

Also, I would get people occasionally yelling out “Get him!! Put him back in Jail!”

I walked around like this for half of the day

Also had one very affectionate fan jump on me and dry hump me… terrible.

My biggest fan..

Nutbush!

They started playing Nutbush City Limits during intermission. I admit to a friend i don’t know how to dance the Nutbush, so she gladly teaches me:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Turns out the reason why they played Nutbush City Limits was that there was actually a Flashmob doing the Nutbush dance on one of the other areas! Here’s the video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci
We left after the last act of Powderfinger.

Homebake 2009 – 8.5/10 . Strong line up and good weather provided for a good day out. Wallet still hurting from exuberant food prices.

Jazz Cover Band - Marble Bar

Assessment Time: 9pm-11pm
Website: www.marblebarsydney.com.au

Location: Level B1, 588 George St Sydney (Hilton Hotel Sydney)
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free. No guestlist.
Dress Code: Most acceptable attire accepted, but everyone here was wearing dresses or collared shirts. Wearing casual would not help your cause in fitting in.
Crowd: Dominantly older crowd of late 20′s/ early 30′s and above.
Inside: On big atrium-like room. Decor of cabaret style. A front stage and two side bards. Columns dotted in the room. Very symmetrical.
Music: A live band is playing with a singer. The band is doing covers of popular house and rnb songs, but her soul voice makes each song have a different jazz-like flavour take to it. Nice… also perfect for the older people here who know their contemporary songs but can’t be bothered going toa  proper club.
Atmosphere: Bustling and busy, while the decor and band gives a cosy/relaxed kind of feel
Video – 360 view:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
This place was packed. You can hear the loud chatter of the crowd mixed with the music. Every month they have special acts to play here.

Not much room to move around
So, no room to dance. Just enough to dance with two or three people in a group. any more would be a bit squashy. Most people were hovering around the band at the front.

Nobody is dancing
I looked pretty much the baby in this place. As we wonder through the place, I wonder – why are there so many people here, and yet not many dancing?? Blame the music. Even though the songs were of a dance nature, the way the band played it made it sound like you were in a jazz club. If you never heard the songs before, you would have no idea what they were covering. However it was still ‘buzzy’ enough to dance to, that is, if your knees haven’t given way yet to old age.

Older girls and boys
Speaking of old girls, many of them were around. Just don’t call them cougars, as there were an equal amount of older men in here. This was a place for the older crowd to mingle about without feeling too old. I felt like a fresh new baby again instead of appearing the old dirty bastard at a club full of teenagers. This may be the place to go when I’m 40.

Check out this hottie:

She was probably 40 or 50 something years young.

Coda
I found a girl who was the only one dancing.. and we sorta started to make out. But she was probably 35 or something, and had ‘work’ the next day – boo! So we left at 11pm to go to Flow @ World Square Pub . Got rejected there twice (‘too many guys upstairs’) so we went to Star Bar for the rest of the night.

Recommendation
Only come here if you’re into Jazz, and if you’re into the Jazz-crowds. A nice place though if it ever turned into a clubbing event. Though it was pretty packed.  This is hard to rate – Atmosphere alone is great. A nice place for drinks but not a dance.

Entertainment: Cowgirls dancing on tables and a wet t-shirt contest – Thumbs up.

Nightclub Level @ The Gaff Sydney - Full of backpackers. Yes, it's a Tuesday night!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
You could dance, anywhere
anywhere except on top of the bar. That was reserved for the dancers. There were people dancing on their tables and chairs, and security had no issue with it. I suppose this relaxed way to go about things made people come back. I met some people who were regulars here, because they loved it.

‘Coyote’ cowboy night:
Cheap cowboy shots, bartenders in their cowboy and cowgirl outfits – it was a pretty good atmosphere. The dancers even dressed in leopard print bikinis and cowgirl pants for their dance. People on the dance floor were mesmerised by these girls dancing away.

Don’t use this pickup line I made up:
I was literally bored of these cowgirls dancing and not showing any more skin. So I thought of an ingenious pick up line to try:
James: “If I get bored of watching cowgirls in their bikinis dance on the podium, does that make me gay?”
2 Girls: “um…. ok” (they look away)
BARRED! Well, that worked well.

Wet T-shirt contest
Further to glamourize the way women should be, the men were asked to leave the dance floor. The remaining girls were then asked to participate in a wet t-shirt contest for a $200 prize! Woot! I’m starting to really like this place.

Coda

Xav wanted to leave for another venue. Pussy. Why? It was so good here. anyway if you ever find yourself with nothing to do on a Tuesday night – The Gaff is a high recommendation!

Me, Storm with some backpacker friends

Venue 2: Scruffy Murphys
We lasted 10 minutes here before leaving. Xav wasn’t feeling it here either. The music was loud and the venue was pretty busy here as well, with the band upstairs and the DJ downstairs at the vault. Probably the second busiest place in Sydney after the Gaff.

Venue 3: 3 Wise Monkeys
Asessment time: 12:45-1:30am
Music: Mix – Top 40, rnb, and even a reggae song.
Crowd: Mixed nationalities.
Atmosphere: Dead. About 5 people on the dancefloor as we got in, and about 20 people onlooking. A very stark contrast to Scruffy’s and The Gaff.
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: None
Dress Code: Casual OK

Timeline
Bouncer toys with us asians:
So we got in but he asks us to stand around. He asks management on his earpiece ‘Are these the 3 shooters that were here earlier?’ Like wtf! He seemed half serious but it was probably a joke. I laughed, and Xav and Storm had no idea what he was talking about. By this time, Xav had gone deaf from the loud music from the previous venues, and I had to repeat the joke twice.

Operation: Take over dancefloor
We got upstairs to the dance area. So dead its not funny. That is until James came along.

1. Say hello to everyone
There were two couples dancing and an Indian guy. I jumped right into the dance floor with a bit of a boogie. People see me. I like it. I run and hi-5 Indian guy. He seems really happy to see me. I hi 5 the asian couple. She gives me the sloppiest hi-5, its like a floppy-stroke-5. I run to the other couple. Hi give guy and the girl.

2. Dance with the hottest girl
She ditches the guy and does a bum dance with me – for quite some time. I look over and he’s off the dance floor. So they weren’t a couple after all, and I had cut his grass within the space of a minute, simply because I can do a superior bum dance. I look around and there’s a group of about 6 guys staring at her and me. I think they are her friends. Oh I feel bad now, so I dragged Xav up to the bathroom and left the girl to go back to her friends.

Back down, the girl is still dancing with her friend. She gravitates towards us. She likes me, and I really think about taking her somewhere else, but GOD why did this floor have to be so dead – there is nowhere to hide with this girl! So I just play dumb innocent dancer. Eventually her man-friends take her away and out of the club, since they were so bored.

3. Claim Kingship
By this time I am King of the dance floor. Population 4.

Being stared at:
The asian couple were here with 3 other girls. Storm thinks they’re of Hmong descent. I have no idea what nationality they are but they look Asian. They have been staring at me dancing the whole time since I entered. Being a King of the dance floor is not easy. There was another group of asians were staring at me as well as some African dudes, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to them.  The Hmong girls are still staring at me, just begging me to approach them…

Converting starers into dancers
Storm and I managed to get all of the girls out dancing to the floor. The crazy indian guy then joins us. He is just a random guy hitting on one of the girls. She doesn’t fend him off, and she doesn’t like him but her friends don’t save her, and her friends basically let her get mentally raped by this guy. He’s even gone for a kiss but she waved him off, while she still sitting there. Even she isn’t standing up for herself. So me and Storm had to save her. Storm went up to her and simply dragged her away. She complied quite easily, and we kept dancing.

Coda
The girls at this time were finally warming up, but Xav and Storm, and I were tired, so we left. I scored the phone number of the guy. Great move James, great move. 3 Wise Monkeys is not recommended for Tuesday night unless you like desolate dancefloors, and you want to be a King.

Me, Hmongs and Storm. 4th girl not in this photo was being harassed by creepy Indian guy at this point in time

Pumphouse
Location: 17 Little Pier St, Darling Harbour
Website: http://www.pumphouse.com.au

Inside: 2 floors. Top floor was just a gallery / patio section to allow viewing of activities downstairs, and to relax. IT gave the whole place a hall-like feel. Bottom floor was a medium sized floor which could hold probably 70 or so people. Lounges in the back, and two podiums in the middle.

Event:  Static
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Discount on guestlist before midnight, $25 otherwise.
Opening: 10pm-4am
Attire / Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual accepted. Hats accepted. I got in past the bouncers without hassle.
Crowd: Asian
Music: RNB / Hip Hop / House (I didn’t hear any)
Typical tunes were more on the hip hop side – i.e. none of that slow slow rnb stuff. It was all pumping, it was all good.
Atmosphere: People were dancing, jumping, and people were sitting. I suppose if you were sitting down you wouldn’t have had a good time. There weren’t that many people (its a small place), nethertheless the energy was definitely there.

Timeline
I was at the register. The people in front were guestlisted and when it got to me “SORRY! Guestlist has ended!”. It was midnight Arghh nooo if only I got here earlier!! Shame on me for playing two extra Guitar Hero songs before I got here. I grudgingly handed out the $25, knowing i wouldn’t be here long..

Bopping with a lifelong friend
I found the birthday boy.  We’ve known each other since I was born. This was the first night we’ve hit a club together. So the whole time, he’s got his arm around me so tight.. so happy to see me. Likewise, it was good to see him too! There wasn’t much room to manouvre around, so basically we stood there, screaming out various ‘yeahs!’ and ‘woos!’ to the music, while I had my finger poking the sky. It was a simple affair. However, didn’t get the chance to waltz around and dance / meet others.

Podium dancers – MEN!
I like my podium dancers, and I ilke my podiums – but at this event, they had TWO GUYS as dancers!! They seemed to enjoy themselves. They were doing the hip hop thing. It was something different, but we all prefer scantily clad chicks, don’t we? I wonder if I could apply for a spot, and show off my average dance moves.

Coda (12:40am)
I was inside for a total of 40 minutes. That’s a rate of $37.50/hr to dance. *dies*. It wasn’t so bad with my friend around. I head down to Brooklyn for my next stop.

I am would only recommend this place unless you love your hip hop/rnb, your dancing.. and only if you go with friends.

A friend of a friend’s birthday at Cargo Bar.

Timeline

We find a spot at te very front of the dance area – right in front of the speakers. It was really loud, and I’m sure my friends were experiencing it too, but the logistics to move your friends from one area to another was far too great to even bother.

The logistics of moving friends

Parameters: All men
Approach: Tell them all to ‘move’ somewhere else, helps if you mention ‘more chicks’.

Parameters: Mixed men and women
Approach: Tell the men to ‘move’ somewhere else, helps if you mention ‘more chicks’. Women possibly to follow.

Parameters: All women
Approach: Don’t bother. What a hassle moving all their handbags.

I am recognized by a girl I had danced with.. 20 months ago
I say hi to the birthday girl. Her friend looks at me. I look back at her. She has a face of realisation and she screams:

“HAY! IT’S YOU!!  OMG! DO YOU KNOW WHATSHERFACE AS WELL?? REMEMBER ME? WE DANCED AT BAR 333!!”
“Hey! Oh wow hi!! Yeah I know whatsherface! Yeah – I remember Bar 333!!”

I had no idea who she was. I’ve danced at Bar 333 twice, and only the first time did I dance with a group of Asian  girls. That was 20 months ago.

“I still have photos of you dancing in bar 333!!” she adds. So, I must have a very photogenic face for her to remember me after 20 months I made her promise to show me these photos one day.
The dance corner
Our little corner was where all these crazy dancers went. There were no girls, but we all dance well and saw some interesting moves to add to the set.
Sadly though it was in the corner, and not many people in Cargo could see the magic happening over here.

Coda
Left around 2.30am, very tired but content to get some proper dancing out of the system this week. Tried to get into Helm Bar but it was too late to get in.

Music: house with DJ and separate drummer.
Crowd: People in their 20s. Smart Casual.
Cover: None
Atmosphere: Crowded, Friendly
Attire: Casuals not allowed. Smart casual. Hats allowed.

Review
Got in around 11pm and soon started to dance. The small floor space was packed, but only noticed something – it was well lit – you could see everyone’s. This perhaps made it less of a typical club.

Music was similar to Cargo where they have a bongo player – here they had a drummer, but it was more jazzy.

Hat blues Tonight decided to wear my white hat. As expected, random drunk people were stealing it all the time.

Cockblock gets angry at me
A  drunk girl puts my hat on a second girl. Lets call her Drunko. Drunko starts dancing with her new found hat. Two girls next to me say “I think you have to dance with her to get your hat back” – oh the things I do.  So I walked up and smiled at her, and danced for a few seconds. Then her cockblock of a girlfriend comes up and takes her away and gives me a death stare that could boil water, and says “She’s not interested”. They walk away with my hat. I follow her and Drunko. Drunko is still playing with my hat. Drunko’s friend turns and tells me yet again in a more pissed off and angry voice.

“NO, She’s not interested, OK???”. “I’m just getting my hat” , as I finally get it back.
She looks at me and realises, but can’t admit to a quick apology. She was right though -  I was going to crack onto Drunko if she wasn’t there.

I’m not tall enough
Met another girl who stole my hat, lets call her Peru. Peru and I get along. Peru and I dance, Puru and i swap number. Peru and I hold hands. Peru and I dance more. However, Peru is taller than me, and Peru sees another man taller than her and can’t keep her eyes off him. It was totally obvious. Game over.

Coda
My friends had left so I call trusty C togo somewhere else..

<Dancing outside of Cargo Bar>
I was inside Cargo for a bit waiting for C. Packed as usual, I couldn’t find a nice spot for myself to dance. It’s still a nice place to go to.

Met C outside and we wait for her friends. It takes 30 minutes, so during this time I forced her to dance on the pier walkway while the music blares out of Cargo bar. Amused passersby take photos, and drunk guys come up and dance with us and crack onto C.

Embarrasingly a client of mine from Work walked on by, and we recognized each other. She hurried along laughing – she probably thinks now I’m a dancing lunatic who pops pills.

Brooklyn hotel
I convinced C we should go to Brooklyn. It was the only other free place nearby which played RNB.
Music: RNB in the front, House in the back.
Crowd: Mixed. Casual.
Cover: None
Atmosphere: Friendly
Dress: Casual, No hats.

We dance a bit in the RNB. C blindly hit the other girls as usual. They didn’t look too happy. Other girls loved her dancing nd we all do a bit of a dance.

We went out back and one of my favoruite songs “This is where the party’s at” by Tonite Only starts to play. I jump out from inside and start to dance. I didn’t realise I jumped right into a dance circle!  I am surrounded by about 10 people and everyone immediately starts pumping their legs off. Loving it. The circle was just a bunch of different people, and someone would always jump in and dance. It was unusally friendly – might have been because it was outdoors in the back, and we could see everything. It was really fun. Even C, who doesnt like House music that much, got caught up in the spirit.

We dance more in the RNB room and get to know some our new dance buddies. They’re asian, but they’re from France. How bizarre. Swapped details and they were very eager to hang out once more another night.

Left around 4am due to pure exhaustion. Nice place to meet people.

Bungalow 8 – thumbs up
Was only here for about an hour. Basically danced around a bit in the small but very fun dance area. Everyone was in the mood, and the music was pretty good too. I can’t remember, I think it was house-like and upbeat.

People(mostly caucasian) were so friendly here. If the dance floor were a bit bigger it could rival Cargo.

Privilege – thumbs down
So one of the friends wanted to meet a friend at Privilege, so against our inner instincts we went. Josh made a smart choice and didn’t go in.

We paid $20 and when we got in, we were greeted with a scene, and dispersement of crowd reserved only for Pavillion Hotel at 2am. It was basically, an utter crap venue.

People weren’t as friendly. Nobody reciprocated to my barging into their circles and dancing like a lunatic. Music was blaring loud. DJ Isreal was playing. Unlucky he got a bad crowd.

Lesson: Always listen to your gut. Or just dont visit Privilege at midnight on a Friday night.

The end.

Future Music Festival

We got there around 4pm. I decided earlier to wear the traditional Indian wedding outfit for today, since.. well since I haven’t worn it since India.

With friends. Random shouts of 'Aladdin' or 'Slumdog Millionaire' were thrown at me, as well as about 30 people asking for photos with me.

I didn’t know any bands. I really haven’t heard much of NERD or the Basement Jaxx songs.. I just wanted to dance.  There were about 8 or so areas you could dance in, which was a ridiculous good value for money. I wish I got here earlier to make the most of it.

Attacked by a beer can // Silent Disco Tent
First we lined up for Silent Disco. Someone threw a can of beer at me from behind but it hit the guy in front of us. That was cold. As a terrorist, i was offended. I sympathised with the guy whom the can hit, and he starts talking to us. His name was Parra. We all go inside, and everyone is given a set of radio headphones. Inside two DJ’s are playing, and you can switch between each radio whenever you please. This was good because if I got sick of one song, I could just switch the channel and dance with the other half of the crowd. When you took the headphones off, all you could hear were the cheers of the crowd screaming or singing along, but no music. It was awesome.  The whole time we were in there, Parra was chatting up our female buddy, so they weren’t really dancing. She nicknamed him Parasite after losing him.

Sublime Room
We trodded on to see NERD, but we were way way out at the back, so we heard nothing, so we went to sublime. Sublime was only ok.. the area wasn’t entirely packed, the music wasn’t energetic enough, and there were way more smokers than usual compared to the other places we got in (I cant remember who was playing). We lasted 30 minutes.

Silent Disco round 2
We went back into Silent Disco for round 2 (love this place) then went to see Basement Jaxx.. which I thought was average..again, I didnt know their songs and I really couldn’t dance to their pieces, but my friends seemed to like it. Would’ve preferred some dance music, or at least be in the mosh pit! After that it was over.

Dirty dust
All the dancing on the grass inevitably kicked up tonnes of dust and microsopic horse crap. Everyone got covered in a layer of dust. We went to the toilets and we looked like we just came out of a coal mine. Wiped so much crap off our sweaty skins.

Basement Jaxx
Squeezed our way near the front , but I didn’t really enjoy the act. I was still craving Silent Disco.

Coda
Waiting for the bus was entertaining. Everytime a bus didnt stop for us, the crowd went ‘awwwwhh!!’, then in between we would chant to the tune of “wheres your head at” – ‘wheres the bus at.. at at at.. wheres the bus at, wheres the bus at!!’.

I want to go again.

About Cargo Bar
Location: 52 – 60 The Promenade, King Street Wharf
Website: http://www.cargobar.com.au
Inside: On the ground floor on entry you are presented with a narrow dance are, with the bar on the right, outdoor seating/dinner on the left and the DJ booth right at the front, encompassing the width of the floor. It’s a nice .. almost classy feel.
Music: House, overlayed with Bongo and Saxophone players
Crowd: Young, mature, mixed nationalities.
Dress Code: Smart Casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: Free
Atmosphere: Vibrant

Timeline
So we started to dance away. The first thing you hear is the band overlaying the beats of the DJ. There’s a bongo player putting out the bongs, and the saxophone player dishing out his own style on the house music that was playing. It gave everything a more fun kind of feel. Me and Brojo, William did some nutty rnb dancing to the house music and it looked pretty fantastic.. The people around us were staring but others were enjoying.. a lady even complimented us, how nice! The only thing i remember is running around the place when the DJ played ‘Around the World’.. I usually do that.

Getting wiggy with it
I had the blonde wig on. I did a small lap of the crowd and it attracted a group of two girls and a guy. We danced. Soon Patricia joined us. These people were absolutely fascinated with the hair, and they were up for a good chat as well. One of them asks:

“How long it take to do your hair?”
(Patricia) “2 seconds!”
Pat then rips off the hair, much to their amusement.

Music
Normal commercial house beats but the bongoer and saxophoner added a nice funky twist to the whole thing. It really made the mood more joyous and less serious. Shame its such a small place to dance in.

Me, Will, Pat

Coda
A bit more dancing.. and we left around 2am. About 2 hours of bopping around. It’s a nice place to go to.. but more last resort.

Location – Equilibrium Hotel, Corner of George and Goulburn st.

http://www.equilibriumhotel.com.au/

Description – Bottom level is the bar level with lounges and a long bar with lots of beer on tap. Outdoors area for smoking. It looks modern and stylish. A DJ plays but the music is such that it is subdued and relaxing.. not for clubbing. A set of stairs leads you upstairs to the ‘Trust’ bar level, where a smaller room is presented.

Surrounding the centre floor are beds (!) made of leather with accompanying cushions. There is a small DJ area but in the centre stage is a slightly elevated area for bands to play.

[Event]

Cover Charge – Free

Music – House beats by DJ but sung by a live singer with accompanying bongo drummer. 9pm onwards

Crowd – Mixed, but not dodgy.

Atmosphere – Fun.. there was a bongo drummer !

Website – http://www.equilibriumhotel.com.au/

[Leadup]

I was drinking with old workmates. Too lazy to find a club we went upstairs.

[Experiences]

Didn’t do much except dance with Sam most of the time (I have a thing for her). The DJ played some beat to a commercial house song and the singer would do her thing.. going through all the goodies. Everyone seemed to like it. They went through the songs quite quickly each time instead of playing the song in its entirety.

Shop closed up at midnight to kick us all out.

[Summary]

Go here for a cheap fun dance with a bongo flavour !