FIrst impressions of the bowl

Stereosonic Festival Sydney @ Olympic Park Showgrounds
Assessment Time: 3:45PM – 11:00PM
Opening Hours: 12:00PM- 11:00PM
Lockout: None
Passouts: No pass-outs are allowed
Address: Olympic Park Showgrounds, Homebush Bay, Sydney.
Venue Website: www.sydneyolympicpark.com.au
Promoter Website: www.stereosonic.com.au
Occurrence: Once a year since 2007, held early December / Late November, held in different capital cities.
Outside Line: Transport via train was no hassle, while lining up to get inside the stadium was pretty fast as well – I walked all the way to the right of the multiple gated entry where there was no lines.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty much you can wear anything that is in good taste, but you can’t bring in alcohol, weapons, drugs etc. I was wearing a toothpaste costume.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $150 at the gate, while early bird ticket prices ranged from $110 to $135. The Sydney festival sold out a few weeks beforehand. A friend bought an e-ticket via a “promoter” and subsequently had his ticket invalidated at the gates – he was basically, conned and ripped off. he had to pay $150 at the gate for a brand new ticket. What luck. Always be careful when buying tickets not from Ticketek or Moshtix.
Inside: Think of the Easter show, and replace everything with music. Here is a map of the layout. In the stadium and some of the other smaller grassed stages, there are floorboards placed, so that you don’t stomp on the grass and get all muddy feet, in the event that it rained.
Cloak Room: There was one available but I didn’t use it today. Last year it was $3 per item.
Bar Prices / Line: I bought stuff but don’t remember prices – a can of Smirnoff red would be at least $10. These are typical for festivals.
Bathroom Facilities: At the stadium there were long lines for women, and not so long lines for the men. Outside there were plenty of port a loos for everyone (so as far as I am aware)
DJs / Artists: Armin van Buuren, Carl Cox, LMFAO, Empire of the Sun, Afrojack, The Bloody Beetroots, Avicii, Benny Benassi, Ferry Corsten, Dirty South, Kaskade, Dash Berlin, and more.
Music Style: Artists primarily reflected on electronic dance / dance culture music.
Crowd: People of all ages are here from all backgrounds to see their favourite act or to enjoy the show.

Atmosphere: I was at the stadium most of the time and it was pretty much packed the whole time I was there. On arrival there at around 5pm the moshpit was full, and no longer people were allowed inside. The floor of the stadium was also full and people were only being allowed to trickle in as people left. I had friends who came here earlier at 2PM and were able to just get places within the moshpit area. The crowd steadily built up through Afrojack and Benny Benassi sets so that we could watch LMFAO. The LMFAO set was arguably the peak of the numbers in the stadium, as well as my personal favourite set – simply because people were singing along and the guys were really into it. Highlights include actually popping champagne (“Champagne Showers”) onto the crowd, and the cameraman zooming into all the crotches during “Sexy and I know it” – Total gross out but hilarious at the same time. It was pretty bad that they came late 30 minutes late on stage, at the expense of shorter sets from AvB and The Bloody Beetroots. We stood around for 30 minutes just thinking.. when *are* they going to come on? Thank god that they weren’t cancelled. After the LMFAO set, quite a few people left the stadium (probably to Dash Berlin, whose set I heard was bloody amazing) – the rest of the people here were sticking around for The last two acts, or just had no idea who they were, and wanted to experience. I missed the entire Bloody Beetroots set, but got to experience the Armin van Buuren set. It was pretty good, but it would have been better if I was in the moshpit.
Video: Music Sample / Timeline

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Phone reception is simply atrocious
Pretty much from about 3PM onwards, I was unable to make ANY calls to ANY of my friends, just due to the amount of people here today. It totally sucked ass as I couldn’t meet up with my friends. So I just hung out with the friends I had already met earlier today. It was worse than new years eve, as new years eve call dropouts only last three to four hours – I was here for a good 5 or 6 hours! IT SUCKED HAIRY BALLSACKS.

Sydney is the biggest city, and so is this festival
Later in the evening, Stereosonic was declared Australia’s largest event in terms of attendance. I would say also probably the best overall line up in years for the general populace as well. I even had friends come out of festival “retirement” to come out for today. Never say never. You would be seriously missing out if you didn’t come out to see this line up. Like seriously. For the days upcoming beforehand, it was raining heaps, and lots of people sold their tickets, to the astonishment that today was a bright sunny day. A shame for them.

Packed to the rafters
All the main acts were at the main stadium, which was situated a few hundred metres away from the rest of the action. As mentioned earlier, this resulted in a lockout of the mosh pit area, the floor, and even a lockout of the stadium itself. I unfortunately got locked out of the stadium alongside some other folk. It was about a 30 minute wait of protesting and watching other people climb over the fence then we were finally allowed to be let in, under police supervision.

Video: The shitty side of Stereosonic (and other festivals): Lining up for ANYTHING. 

Click here to view the embedded video.

On someone's shoulders

Now I’m sitting raised on this dude’s shoulders, on the phone, looking out back at the crowd – the crowd are are all staring, cheering at me or however people react to seeing a toothpaste bottle arising into the air. My friend spots me (I couldn’t spot her) and finds me a few minutes later. That was awesome.

Condoms and other bad things
Here is a photo of one of the many condom balloons thrown around the place. Somewhere behind I could smell someone puffing on some sticky icky. A friend also got asked if he had pills. All in a typical day in a festival. LOL

Condom Balloon!

Life being a bottle of toothpaste
While a friend was being asked for drugs, people only were asking me if I had toothpaste. Then this was followed by people squeezing whatever part of my costume in order to excrete the wonderful, white, magic substance that is known as toothpaste. And the most common question I got was “where was the toothbrush?” – In my pants of course.

I didn’t get really hot until about after 3 hours, when I started to sweat profusely. It was quite disgusting, and I was glad that sunset finally arrived to cool me down.

Mixing it up with the crowd

Sticky, icky floor
Half of the time people are kicking cans away from themselves, to other people. So many people have spilled drinks in this heat, that the floor has become quite sticky. So sticky that beer cans are sticking to the bottom of the soles of my shoes. Yes, fucking BEER CANS ARE STUCK ON MY SHOE as I dance. It’s ridiculous.

Spotted by a fan?
Out of the thousands of people who came here today, surely one of them read this website. Well, someone did, and that someone found me. Haha! I was pretty amazed that I was spotted, but now that I think about it, I *was* in a Giant Toothpsate Costume

Arrivederci
Finished at 11PM. Transport out involved a long walk around the station, but we got on the first train right away, no waiting around. I was pretty exhausted and ready to go home. However, I got a call from a friend in the city….

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
A great lineup and as I said before one of the best I’ve seen that a festival pull. No idea how these guys will top it for next year, but I’m a shoe in for next year. Definitely a festival to go to.

Though I wish prices were cheaper as well as less of a requirement for people to have to be locked out of stadiums or be held up waiting for acts. I spent at least an hour of my time doing these things, when I could have listened to other acts.

Thought you might like this irrelevant photo (Back Room)

I’ve heard bits and pieces about the redesigned place, and the opportunity came to visit it tonight – time to check it out!

Saturdays @ FakeClub (Empire Hotel Level 2), Kings Cross : formerly “Plantation Bar “
Review Note: This is the extended, personalised, version of the short review written for the Best Clubs In website,  found at http://www.thebestclubsin.com/sydney/fake-club . 
Assessment Time:11:40PM – 1:35AM
Opening Hours: 09:00PM – 06:00/07:00AM
Lockout: I don’t think there was any form of lockout, partly due to the extended opening times.
Address: Roslyn St. It’s on level 2 of Empire Hotel. This is the same venue/event formerly known as The Temple, formerly known as Plantation (Bar).
Venue Website: http://www.fakeclub.com.au
Promoter Website: Self promoted.
Occurrence: Every Saturday. The event is also open on Fridays, Sundays as well for other events with different music styles.
Outside Line: There was nobody in line as we entered. There was, though, a small crowd outside having a smoke, so at least you knew the place was at least populated.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty much you could wear as you please, excluding thongs. The relaxed dress code today might have been influenced a big chunk of the patrons coming from Creamfields festival earlier in the day, with whatever they were wearing – they are easily spotted with their singlets and shorts. . The rest of the crowd wore casual or smart casually dressed. The door policy was pretty relaxed – we were not scanned by security for any dangerous items.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20 was entry. $15 entry if you wore a Creamfields wristband. Discount/Free before 10PM, which isn’t much leeway.
Guestlist: Guestlist ended at 10PM.
Inside: After walking up the (what appeared to be) fire exit stairs, you will be presented with a room which resembles a large garage or a small warehouse. High ceiling dotted with stability columns around the edges. To the left is the dance floor area to hold probably 100-150 people, with DJ on the West wall. Large LED screen intallation spans the DJ booth and rises up 3 metres or so close to the ceiling. To the South side are a handful of medium sized reserved lounge areas to hold parties for 20 people or so. To the right is the main bar for length of about 10 people. The North side is just pure wall, and the bathroom. The back room, hard to find, is located just adjacent to the main bar via a closed door. Walk inside to enter a smaller room – it can only hold 20 people squishily on the floor itself. DJ on the far end, while a makeshift bar on a table is on the left. Futons and lounges dot the walls here.
Cloak Room: None Found. Noted were people leaving their stuff around the place.
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight but the line was pretty busy – it would be at least 15 minutes of waiting time at the bar. It’s also in thoroughfare between the two rooms so you’re awlways moving and bustling around.
Eviction Count: None that I spotted. It was pretty dark.
DJs: Resident Fake Bratpack DJ/s, Teenage Terror Squad, Bangers and Mash, Oh Glam, and more.
Music Style: Main room played different flavours of electronic house (this is not the same as electro) and dubstep, (except notably commercial flavours) during the time I was here. During times, there were a good 10-12 minutes of ‘dull’ time where the beat/rhythm of the music being played was not sustaining the crowd at all, and you could tell people were getting bored. I don’t think the DJ sensed this – or it was just a part of his plan to not have the crowd jumping around and have them relaxed instead? Who knows. The secondary room is Old School Rnb, Hip Hop and Rap, with some old boy band songs too. Think Snoop Dogg, Tupac, Eminem, Backstreet Boys – A tribute to the 90s and early 2000′s hip hop/rnb scene you would say. The mixing in the back room was non-existent here, as the DJ used a standard form of slow-stopping the track and moving on to the next one. She made up for the lack of this by picking some good tunes and even dancing up and singing with the crowd.
Crowd & Ratio: Primarily local Australians / Caucasians here. We are one of two Asian groups tonight, and there are some islander groups. Gay friendly. The ratio was 65/35 male/female from best estimates. A good proportion of the crowd here are also from the Creamfields festival event earlier. This helps keep the average age here at about…. 19. haha.. well in all fairness the crowd was pretty young anyway. There are some folk in late 20′s and I saw a bloke who was definitely in his 30′s, but the place is pretty dark so its hard to spot anyone else older. Pretty OTT amongst some of the crowd here, with crowd surfing and people dancing on the speakers here.
Entertainment: MC for the main room to keep things going.
Atmosphere:
Pretty dark atmosphere here in the main room, with the LED light wall providing the main source of photons. It’s a blur of noise, the LED lights from the DJ area as well as constant strobic lighting giving the passive person’s first time out a very overwhelming experience. The people in this room seem a bit cold.. had a girl with ADD shove me and other people aside to get to the front without apologizing or anything – shameful. Otherwise the music is the focus here tonight. Also the first thing I wanted to do was take my jacket off when I walked in, so be aware of the warmth here.

In the backroom, it is more well lit and as the room is smaller, it does have more of a cosy vibe but can be overrun with the amount of people trying to fit in here. The atmosphere is more vibrant with people singing along to the music of years gone by. Sadly though the room died at around 1:30AM, arouns the same time the DJs were switched. Unknown how the room progressed later in the night.
Video: Main Room and Back Room: Walkthrough and Music Sample Timeline

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Welcome to Skin Club
As mentioned, its quite warm in here, so its no surprise that the MC has decided to take his shirt off, step up onto the DJ booth, in front of the LED screen, and proudly show off his chiseled body to the women of the crowd, who are literally jumping out of their seats and taking photos and video footage of the guy posing. I can’t blame them, as the place was to dark to see anybody else. Then if that wasn’t enough, he took off his pants as well and stood there in his jocks. Taste… taste!

Alright, got a bit tired of him strutting around, so went to the back room for some Old School love. DJ is up and pumping her fists in the air and the crowd is chanting along. Pretty cool. Then the DJ decides to lift her dress up and flash her rack! What was that I just saw? She did it a second time in case anyone missed it. Okay – That was freaking awesome. Don’t think I’m deprived, I just thought it was amazingly something you dont excpect a female DJ to do. at. all. It totally made up for having to stare at the shape of the MC’s crotch in the main room.

The state of affairs in the bathroom
I love how some bathrooms have only ONE basin. Such as one bedroom apartments. This is a club, and we only had one basin (for the small bathroom I must admit). Unfortunately someone in a moment of stupdendor decided to smash the basin down to the ground and obliterate it to pieces. This meant that theoretically no male who visited the bathroom (including myself) had clean hands. Wiping your hands on your jeans doesn’t count!

Something I haven’t heard of in a while
Spotted by M were two people openly sniffing a liquid substance. I don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely not someone sharing their prescribed legal medication with another person. I suppose I’ve been so sheltered in the clubs I’ve been going to that I forgot that this aspect of clubbing does still exist. Perhaps I’m not looking hard enough. Though despite this nobody else was visually seen taking up substances.

Arrivederci
My Asian RnB loving friends are not fans of this place at all and I have relented at 1:30AM

Recommendation
Obviously you need to be a fan of the music, as demonstrated by my friends, who didn’t like it. I’ve kept an open mind about the music in the main room – at times it was good, and at times it wasn’t so good, even for the others here – but it was more on the good side. The vibe is up there but it would have been nice if the DJ / MC combo was able to sustain the excellent vibe consistently through the night.  

Saturdays @ Fake Club (Empire Hotel): 6/10 (Only if you like the music in the main room!) Otherwise don’t go.

Dancefloor @ Coogee Bay Hotel Sydney

Saturdays @ Coogee Bay Hotel
Assessment Time: Midnight – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: www.coogeebayhotel.com.au
Address: Coogee Bay Rd, Coogee, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual was ok tonight. Sneakers and hats allowed. Half the crowd wore t-shirts, the other half, casual collars. Only a handful of people including us were nicely dressed. I certainly felt very well dressed as I walked in tonight.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free tonight, but these guys have the fingerprint scanners installed. I get worried when a venue has this technology as it would only mean violence has occured here before.
Guestlist: None tonight. It was a regular Saturday, and the Coogee Bay Hotel does its own promotions.
Occurence: Every Saturday bar special events where entry fee applies.
Inside: The actual club is just one section of the whole complex – similar to how The Albion is setup. Walk in and the live band room is on the right, sports bar on the left. Keep walking in to enter the large beer garden at the back, and bistro on the left. On the right is the club. In the walkthrough video below, we walk from the entrance straight into the club. The clubbing room itself has a wooden dancefloor to hold about 100-150 people comfortably. Some lounges around the surrounding carpeted areas. It feels a little bare, but the whole place is dark, so you eventually forget about the barebones setup. 
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Did not buy from the bar tonight. However throughout, the line was about 2 people deep. Expect at least a 5 minute wait.
Music: Non-Commercial House, Dubstep, Rnb/pop mashup.
Crowd: Mostly young people here. Teenagers and early 20′s. A handful of people in their 30′s as well, who have come for a bit of a dance after dinner I guess. Pretty much everyone here was caucasian, and probably locals. I would not imagine a non-local making the trek all the way out here on a regular night.
Entertainment: No MC, no podiums. Just the DJ and dancefloor, and some UV lights
Atmosphere: It was busy throughout the whole night. It never got too packed, so you could always have room to dance. Sometimes it got close to squishy but nothing to worry about – you could dance somewhere else – the dancefloor was large enough to accommodate - people danced on surrounding carpet areas as well. Pretty dark in some places around the floor but lighting keeps the floor itself well lit.
Evictions: I saw 2 dudes in total kicked out for being drunk. One was ready to start a fight on the dancefloor. The other was throwing TAB betting sheets all over the sports room and pretended nothing happened when questioned by security – paper littered all around him – hilarious.
Video: Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

With a coogee local! That is not how he normally looks.

Conclusion: This place is friendly for all natios. Way more than The Mean Fiddler, even though I liked it there.

The short man
There was a short man who looked amish but had a brown beard, and he danced funny. For a good 5 minutes he stood there pointing his hand in the air, his finger tapping an invisible button. He was surprisingly dressed well like us. You can see him as part of the 360 video below:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The next 2 hours was spent consoling this random person. She kept telling us that we could keep the money as long as she gets her passport back – as if we would steal stuff! She didn’t even want to go to police, as she assumed she had to bribe them to get anything done – thats how it operated where she came from. We are pretty lucky. anyway, harsh lesson learnt – use a cloak room. Oh wait, this place didn’t have one. Lesson is, don’t ever put your little purse down.

Post Mortem
Next day, it was revealed that when the club closed, the dude who was meant to take care of the bag forgot he was meant to take care of the bag. He thought it was a strangers bag thinking that the lost bag would be reported lost to police (it was), he dumped the bag on the sofa instead of handing it in to bar staff. He didn’t want police on his back. What a douchebag. A few days later, the bag was handed back to the backpacker, minus all the cash.

Arrivederci
We are ceremoniously kicked out at closing time. The sports bar room remained open if you wanted to keep on drinking.

Recommendation
A generally friendly crowd and good dancing atmosphere and music to break some moves to. However the night was ruined with the lost bag and Ms lost phone. People are so unfreakingreliable. I’m sure this place has its merits though I probably won’t come back here – it does take a while to get here from the city.

Saturdays @ Coogee Bay Hotel: 5.5/10

How loud is it you ask?

Here’s a video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Later at 4 or 4:30 the DJ changed to someone else, and the music was less danceable for us, and we left.

Crowd is all caucasian. At this time the place still had about 30-50 people which was amazing. Drinks are good value too.

Me and M were dancing crazy style, and got some dancers with us. A guy came up and insisted we dance using our middle fingers as instruments as part of the dance. So we ended up dancing around with our middle fingers in the air, around the place, etc etc. Interesting.

Oxford Art Factory is a nice place to visit for a dance, if you are into the housey/dubstep kind of scene.

7/10 only for lovers of the music genre advertised that week.  I cannot recommend for normal innocent clubbers.