Courtyard area (just the front bit)

Wonderland @ Greenwood Hotel, North Sydney
Assessment Time: 12:10AM – 3:00AM
Opening Hours: 8:00PM – 3:00AM
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 36 Blue St, North Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.greenwoodhotel.com
Promoters: The claim was 17 promoters joined in the fun to make this event. The main promoter was Syndicate Events, GTB, and Colab – the same promoters for Perfect Nights @ Pontoon Bar.
Occurrence: Once off event for Australia Day
Outside Line: There were about 5 people in front of us, but we quickly got in
Dress Code / Door Policy: Relaxed dress code. Most things were okay. Most guys wore t-shirts but girls still glammed up.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 full entry. Pre-paid tickets unknown.
Guestlist: N/A
Inside: Enter via the rear via the ramp where the register is. Pay your dues and walk down the ramp to enter the courtyard where the DJ is on the left with a standing area in front for around 100 people. There are tables, chairs and stonewalls for people to sit on to get their smoko on. The whole building looks like it could have been a little church (and it probably was), considering the large sandstone bricks that make its walls and the general architecture of the building. There are four separate door entrances along the walls to each of the 4 internal rooms. The right most room is “the clinic” room, a small room with a bar, lounges and a small dance area to hold 15-20 people. The next rooms are the chillout room and the Mashup room – mashup room has a bar along the wall and a wall cushion bench thing with a slightly larger dance area with DJ in the far corner. The chillout room is just that, with music supplied just outside from the courtyard – saloon style lounges and bar exist in here. The “Black Label” room is the largest of the rooms with DJ on the far right and dance area for a good 100 or so people.

Cloak Room: The cloak room was situated upstairs on your right, as you just step into the Greenwood Hotel courtyard. $5 for bag deposits. 
Bar Prices / Line: 3 minute wait at the bar in the mashup room. $49 for 4x Jam Donut shots and 2x Tequila shots.
Bathroom Facilities: Bathroom upstairs near the cloak room as well as downstairs by the rear of the ‘Black Label’ room. The facilities sufficed.
Eviction Count: Didn’t spot anything personally. Crowd were pretty behaved tonight.
DJs: A whole shitload over the four separate areas. There’s a picture in the gallery with the full DJ list.
Music Style: Outdoor courtyard: Contemporary RnB / Top 40, “Black Label” Room: Classic RnB / Hip Hop, Mashup Room: RnB and House mashup naturally, “The Clinic” Room: House, classic House. Overall compared to other typical Sydney clubs where you are faced with one or maybe 2 rooms, you have a choice from 4 rooms of music, but they all pretty much overlapped in terms of just playing commercial House and RnB / Hip Hop to satisfy the crowd, so if you just are a regular radio listener you would be into this kind of music.
Crowd: Mixed ages, mostly people in their 20′s – an even mix of young and slightly older late 20′s and some early 30′s characters I bumped into. A lot of people here is of Asian descent and pretty much every Asian person looked like a local Aussie Asian.  The rest (about 10-20%) were mostly Euro or locals in the area. 
Ratio: If you were to find a good ratio of women, they would be hiding out in the RnB / Top 40 rooms, rather than the house rooms. Overall it was alright, probably 65/35 female/male but it wasn’t an overwhelming feeling of sausage around.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment, though there are $5 burgers if your stomach desires it. The patties looked burnt and carcinogenic though. DJ in the mashup room was giving away mix CD’s. The CD has some choice songs on it, but the mixing was pretty horrid IMHO. 
Atmosphere: Outside its always busy with the crowd surrounding the DJ, but on the downer this area doubles up as the smoking area and I personally couldn’t hang out here for long periods of time. The Clinic room, being where most house and “shuffling” songs were being played, quickly became a mini literal boiler room, where the humidity of sweat just hits you as you walked in. It’s qutie dark in The Clinic room and you may shuffle as you wish without much judgement, if you could find some room in the cramped area. The Black Label room also fell under this humid B.O smell but only until just before it closed, as the room was larger. The chillout and mashrooms were pretty bright/well-lit and no more than a handful of people were up in front of the DJ dancing at any one time. Most people chose to sit down and have a chat/take photos here. The crowd in general as mentioned were pretty well behaved and most just wanting to dance and apparently enjoy the night.
Video: Montage of music and walkthroughs:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline

Hate brings people together
“Whooa-ooa-oaa-oaa-ohhh… whooa-ooaa-ohhaoahohhh.. You know you love me.. (uh huh) I know you care!”.

Oh… if you haven’t figured it out, its a song I used to love, but now am not a fan of anymore. It’s JUSTIN BIEBER’S ‘Baby’. UGH. So when the DJ plays this song I sit down with a friend and mock-karaoke the words. The random guy next to me doesn’t like the song either and we quickly became friends over the song. I start thinking about a future friendship with him: going out, dinners, water sports together, etc.

Anyway we had some shots together! He said he was here alone only because the DJ was a friend of his. It’s like that with a lot of people who you see at the clubs and just sit down. He ran off after the shot. It was fun while it lasted.

Even when I am clubbing, I am not safe
I was chatting to a pretty girl and you know, I reckon we got along well. I started thinking about having a future relationship with her: Going out, dinners, water sports together etc.

Anyway we had a dance, and then… it goes a little something like this:
Her: I think I know you from somewhere.
Me: Where! (praying to god it wasn’t from this website)
Her: Do you live in XXXXX ?
Me: Yes, I do!
Her: OMG… I think I know YOUR MUM!!
Me: Ahhh WHAT!????????? MY MUM!!? X_X
Her: Your mum once babsit my kids a few years ago, and I remember meeting you!
Me: Oh right..

Hoolleyyy shitfucks this was way too weird.
It was all coming back to me now. I was a strapping young lad back in the day, and she looked exactly the same as the last time I saw her all those years ago. It would be weird if I went for it, and she decided to visit me again at home, so I wisely moved on.

Arrivederci
Stayed around until 3AM when everything was done.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
This was a once off event but other events at Greenwood should be definitely considered going to, especially if you haven’t been before since it’s a nice little venue.

Me2 @ Home Nightclub (The Terrace Level Only Upstairs)
Assessment Time: 11:20PM – 3:15AM
Opening Hours: Unknown (10:00PM?? – 4:00AM ??)
Lockout: I asked security at 2:30AM if there was a lockout. “What would you like it to be?” is the sly response. Definitely not a lockout.
Address: 101 Wheat Road Darling Harbour, Sydney. Home Nightclub is next to IMAX theatre. BE CAREFUL about entry! Entry to the Terrace is on to the RIGHT of the main entrance. It is NOT the main entrance. I am sure a handful of people have stumbled into the main entrance to find themselves amongst the Sublime crowd. RnB lovers in a trance room. That is an experience I’d like to see.
Venue Website: http://www.homesydney.com
Event Website: http://www.facebook.com/me2sydney
Promoter Website: Dynamic Entertainment http://www.dynamicau.com , Mizuya Entertainment http://www.MizuyaEntertainment.com.au
Occurrence: Every Friday since July 2011
Outside Line: No line outside, just the promoters. After 5 minutes of the door girl desperately trying to find our names, she gave up and let us in anyway after I showed her our confirmation email. It was quite interesting as she had at least 10 pages full of names of 100 names each page, and yet my name wasn’t on there.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Smart casual is encouraged, but there were people (guys AND girls) who came in casual t-shirts / singlets without any issue. Hats, I didn’t see anybody wear, as everyone here had some blown up Asian hairstyle, and when you have a crazy hair style, you don’t want to ruin it by putting on a hat. Nobody likes hat hair.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 full charge. $20 on guestlist.
Guestlist: I sent a guestlist the evening prior, and got confirmation pretty quickly from two different promoters the same night. It was a shame that when we rocked up tonight, our names were NOT on the guestlist. What a shock. Luckily I had my brand new spanking smart phone (which was NOT an iPhone, haha) and showed her the two confirmation emails. She let us in with discounted entry. But seriously, if I didn’t have those emails, I would be pretty upset at this point knowing I’d have to pay $25.Inside: Walk upstairs to the top level to enter the small atrium where you can push ahead into the main room or back room. The main room has a bar on the left manned by 2-3 staff at any time, a door to the outside smoking are and the general dancefloor. The floor can hold a small crowd of about 40-80 people. The DJ is on the far end of this dancefloor, where the walls converge to form a triangle like shape wall. There is a podium for about 4-6 people right in front of the DJ booth. The back room is mostly of lounges to hold two large groups of people of 10-15 each. Small bar as well manned by one person. There is also a smaller lounge room to hold 10 or so people nestled away near the bathrooms.

Cloak Room: $5 for each item, and $2 for re-checks.
Bar Prices / Line: Early in the night its quite easy to get a drink right away, but after around 1AM, there was always going to be a wait of at least 5-10 minutes to get an order in. Southern comfort and Lemonade – $9 each. Agwa Bombs – $12 each (?), 2x Vodka Orange + 2x Vodka Raspberry + 2x Vodka Lemonada – $51. Use the back bar if you can as barely anyone comes here and you can usually order right away or within 5 minutes, but ensure the order in front of you is that of a small one, as it is only manned by one bar staff (a serious bottle neck as we experienced, waiting for an order of 10x Agwa Bombs and 10x shots and 10x mixed drinks to be poured up and served). The main bar, waiting would be between 5-10 minutes during peak.
Bathroom Facilities: They finally removed that annoying broken foot fountain thing in the terrace! Half the time people had no clue how to use it, and the other half of the time at least one of these things were broken. They were replaced with the standard 3x shared washing trough thing. It was a shame that the electric hand dryers were not operating. Everyone walks out with wet hands … gross.
Eviction Count: None spotted, but Marty spotted some guys who were started trouble with the staff the week prior. Definitely stayed away from them.
DJs: Siera, others.
Music Style: Commercial RnB / Top 40 tunes.
Crowd: Pretty much every single person here, except for 2 European girls, was Asian. Out of the Asians, roughly 90% were International travellers from Hong Kong / China or spoke some Chinese dialect. It’s a Chinese crowd. The rest of other people I met were locals here. The local Asians were easily outnumbered.
Ratio: About a 65:35 Male:Female ratio. Earlier in the night it was a pretty even ratio, but it could have been just a fluctuation upon time of count. Though, throughout the peaking part of the night it is definitely heaps more guys than girls.
Entertainment: Tonight’s main promotion was none other than the MC himself, MC Victorious, “returning” after I guess a hiatus. He did a fine job upon his return.
Atmosphere: Upon walking in, it was pretty much dead. We’re talking about 10-15 people in the whole place. Everyone was in the outside smoking area and nobody was inside, besides the bar staff. It was quite worrying as the time was almost midnight and the club usually shows signs of peaking. There was none of that. It slowly picked up more and more people from around midnight, to finally reach supposed peak at around 1:30AM – quite late. Crowd mostly keeps to themselves in their own groups, or they’ve arrived already coupled up. It’s not easy trying to start conversations with people here. EVERYONE is speaking chinese. Literally nobody spoke English in here, except for the MC. They only way to suss it out was to talk to these folk, and find out if they spoke English or not – it turns out some did, but most did not speak it at all.

The club oversees the south end of Cockle Bay wharf, so you do get some sort of sea-breeze, and a nice view of Darling Harbour. The involvement of the crowd jumping to the music was limited to the front portion of the floor, where the podium was. The rest of the patrons were just moving and chatting around. The chill out room was pretty dead most of the night. the lounges supplied would seat anyone who chose to sat down. It’s a place for the non-dancers to go.

Video: Walkthrough / Music Timeline

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Why did it take so long for it to peak?
Why was there nobody here at midnight?? I have a working theory. Imagine you are a person of Hong Kong/Chinese descent having dinner with your fellow Honkers/Chinamen. Your dinner could finish from between 11PM to 1AM. If you finish early, you have an hour or two of Karaoke and drink some Green Tea/Hennessy. Then after someone would yell 让我们去跳舞！ (“Let’s go dance!”), and well, Me2 seems to be the default place to go for this crowd.. I think that’s how it is anyway. Someone please explain!

How to blend in with the crowd

A lonely dance
Marty and I had a nice 15 minute dance alone in the main room and nobody, or anybody who saw us in this dead room would immediately walk to the outside room. I bit my tongue during this mini dance session. It bled, but I didn’t die.  

Showing the girls a good time. Fail.
Met some guys who were showing 2 girls from PERTH a good time in Sydney. They chose Me2, and well.. it was only 11:30PM and the place was as dead as my puppy who got run over 2 months ago. The poor unfortunate girls looked so bored, and well actually they all looked bored. One of the guys even said he had come across my site once! Haha, the poor folk, we asked them to dance with us, but they preferred to sit down and not do much for now.

It was so shit at this time, I actually told my other friends who were going to come, to go somewhere else. Well, they did. Some friends they are!! They went to Pontoon and told me afterwards they said it was going off. LOL. I wasn’t leaving though. I’m committed to see the promised peak rush of people come in.

Sexist photographer
If you go out reguarly, you would have experienced sexism before entering a club, or when trying to get served at a bar, but the photographer here – jesus christ he was just photographing with his penis. So it was the empty room of Marty, myself, and a group of girls. He took the photos of girls, and didn’t even want to look at us!! SEXISM! Throughout the night I saw him ask many girls for photos, but not one group of 100% guys. I think this guy was just only half doing his job, and half hitting on girls. Well, I tried to get a photo, but he was such a fast walker I could never get a photo. So, so sexist. I suppose their website needs to promote the number of girls that come here, but not the larger number of guys either. All I have to say is we need more female photographers willing to do the hard yards.

Blondies
Just dyed my hair blonde. It’s so good. Well I like it anyway. When you dye your hair, you immediately notice other people who have similar hair colour to yourself and you can’t help but compare if you or they are better looking. I reckon I did okay considering it was my first time.

Guy didn’t wanna be winged
This guy was chatting up girls and needed help, I sensed. This is when Super James jumped in and played a good wingman and got my grind on with some girl. Sadly the girls had enough of grinding and went to the TOILET. That excuse never gets old. Anyway, the guy decided to camp outside the toilet waiting for them to come out LOL. If that isn’t creepy, I don’t know what is. I came up to talk casually with him, but you know what he did? He GAVE ME the toilet excuse and walked off. Oh my god! Are you serious?? Getting rejected by a girl hurts, but getting rejected by a guy with the TOILET excuse.. it goes straight to the heart and cuts it into a million shards, sending sharp pulses of pain into my chest.

Arrivederci
A friend was waiting for me outside, so I left. The venue was reasonably still busy at this time, as a surprise. Though, there aren’t any new people coming in.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
It’s a Chinese crowd, but the music is still RnB and the MC speaks english so its okay. I would try to sort out a guestlist because $20, let alone $25 is always expensive in my books. The trade off is that the crowd won’t pick up fully until 1AM, so don’t come here earlier than Midnight/12:30, or you will be in for a bit of a surprise, especially if you were gonig to show people from Perth what the Sydney clubbing scene had to offer.

Tonight’s rating – Before 12:15AM - 2/10. After 12:15AM – 6/10

Met some cool folk

Jingle Jangle @ Good God Small Club (Affectionately known as GG)
Assessment Time: 11:50AM – 03:30AM
Opening Hours: Saturdays: 18:00-05:00AM
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 53-55 Liverpool Street
Venue Website: http://www.goodgodgoodgod.com
Promoter Website: Unknown if it was self promoted or not.
Occurrence: Every weekend the venue is open, but the Jingle Jangle events appear to show up on a once a month basis.
Outside Line: None, well maybe one or two people, but it doesn’t count.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes, most people wore casual – T- shirts and hats allowed. Despite this the crowd still looked quite good, rather than daggy.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry to the Good God bar, with the Small Club area being $5 entry. Doesn’t get cheaper than that.
Guestlist: None

Inside: [Small Bar] From the entrance walk downstairs underground to enter the Small Bar area. The Bar is on the far right while the dancefloor is in the middle along with the DJ booth on the same level as the floor. Floor holds a small number of people – Id say 20 at best. Dining lounges line the left side of the Small Bar area. [Small Club] From the Small Bar, go far left to enter the arched doorway into the Good God Small Club Room, and yes, it is of small size compared to other clubs out there. The central dance area can hold about 100 people at best, with lounges dotting the side walls. Bar at the back and DJ at the front on a slightly elevated podium, which I suspect is also used for when bands come here to play for intimate crowds.
Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: $7 for a Vodka Sunrise. A fair price. The line did appear to be about a 5 to 10 minute wait around both bars.
Eviction Count: None seen
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: [Small Club] Music here was funk and soul from the 1910s to the 1960s (as advertised). I don’t know if it was true but it definitely wasn’t stuff you hear on the commercial radio. It’s not boring oldies music, but stuff that would make the crowd dance. I think you can get a better taste by watching the video below and listening to the music. My partner for the night instantly liked it we easily got into the dance. A very different style to what you usually hear at a regular club. Tt was actually quite suitable for any couples who feel like a dance here [Small Bar] Pretty much retro pop and rock from the 70s and 80s were being played here, for people who didn’t want to travel musically too far back into time. A pretty good choice of songs. No mixing was apparent.
Crowd: Crowd were almost entirely Caucasian and pretty much everyone here was local, except some of my companny whom were from Canada overseas. Age was not too young but not too old – most are over 20 to 30 with a handful upto 40 years of age. It was hard to tell inside this dark place
Ratio: It was a fairly even ratio throughout most of the night.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment
Atmosphere: [Small Club Room] A very dark atmosphere, but at the same time the sparse ambient red hue lighting gives it a warm vibe as well. Combined with the music, the crowd seem more relaxed and willing to dance throughout the nights proceedings. People are pretty friendly as well, with many dancing and lots of making out too amongst strangers (including myself), making it a possibly queasy experience for someone nearby, but luckily they can move to a different dark area of the room to dance. There were quite a number of people inside here, pretty much maxing out the room – this led to also a pretty warm room for most of the night, so at times you did desire going back outside to chill-out, or go back to the bar for more drinks. [Small Bar Room] Most of the dancefloor tonight was pretty sparse – it is also dark in here, with only a handful of people dancing here. The floor in itself is pretty small, so you can’t exactly expect a moshpit in here. 
Video: Music from both rooms – It’s not as dark as it seems in real life!

Click here to view the embedded video.

[Small Bar] Not so hot – it’s free entry here, though you’re better off going to The Retro for your retro fix.

[Small Club Room] I do highly recommend to check it out with your boyfriend/girlfriend (it is quite partner friendly) or small group of friends if you wanted a change of scene and are open to dancing to different older styles of music. Friendly crowd, and very cheap entry makes for a uniquely good night. Come here after midnight as beforehand it is a little dead and takes time to pick up. Just keep an eye out on the website for when it is next on.

1AM - Taken from the DJ Podium

WOW @ Martin Place Bar , Sydney
Assessment Time: 12:10AM – 4:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown (Probably 10:00PM) –
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 51 Martin Place
Venue Website: http://www.martinplacebar.com.au
Promoter Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au http://www.facebook.com/WOWSaturdays http://www.ohsnap.com.au
Occurrence: Every Saturday since Winter 2011. This replaced the previous “Bamboo” event running for the 6 years prior. It’s run under the same promoters though. At time of writing it appears the “Bamboo” event will make a return under a new venue.
Outside Line: It was quite the long line our late arrival after midnight. We ended up waiting about 25 minutes before we got inside the club. This is typical for a busy event. I would try to get here before 10:30 if you want to have shorter lines – but in return you’re going to get a dead club upon entry.
Dress Code / Door Policy: “Strict” no hat policy was advertised, but it was weakly enforced. I had my hectic punk hair on. Someone else was dressed as a Chef, complete with a Chef’s hat. Most guys and girls were dressed at minimum smart casual and dressy/chic/sexy.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 full entry was paid. Discounted entry before 12:30AM if you sent in a guestlist prior.
Guestlist: wow@ohsnap.com.au I sent a guestlist the day before but there was no confirmation – however it did turn up on the list while people before me entered. Sadly enough when I got to the cashier it was too late. 
Inside: For people who previously visited Martin Place Bar for the ‘Bamboo’ events – “How is the setup different from Bamboo?” you wonder. The previous entry via the glass doors at the front is closed off. The cashier table has been setup outside near the corner, and patrons are asked to walk around the NE corner, through the outdoor/smoking area to the Eastern doors where they may enter the dancefloor from the side. In this way the people dancing at the front aren’t distracted so much anymore by people leaving and coming into the venue. When you actually enter the room you are facing the Western wall where the bar lines most of the wall. On the right is the DJ/main dance area, while more lounges and dance area are on the left. Dancefloor area can hold 100 or so people comfortable, 150-200 squishily. Previously where the cashier used to be at the front, has now been converted into a lounge corner, where sofas dot the walls and people can sit down and watch everyone else dance around. The extra room at the front created has also been used to put up a dancepole . The DJ booth has moved a bit to the Northern wall at the front. Podiums dot the Eastern wall for the flaunty types.
Cloak Room: $5 an item I think. No cheaper
Bar Prices / Line: It wasn’t as busy as I thought it would be at the bar, but it was after 1AM – The wait was about 5 to 10 minutes each time to get an order. Prices unknown – was only grabbing water tonight. Outside I was freaking hungry, and since there was nothing open nearby, these guys had a monopoly on the BBQ food prices (Mcdonalds was closest at about 10 minutes walk away) – I paid $6 for a hotdog.
Music Style: Primarily modern Commercial American RnB. Some Commercial House mashup throughout the night thrown in as well. They switch DJ’s throughout the night, so there is risk of song repeats here – boohoo! People dance to it anyway.
Crowd Dominantly Asian. A handful of Anglo-Saxons here too. Ages vary – most the local Asians here look like they’re in their low 20′s/teens but its hard to tell. The International Asians here are varied in ages and can range from 20 to 30ish. Even I am finding it hard to distinguish Asian ages.
Ratio: It was pretty even at the back, but as you approach the front near the DJ area, you hit what I like to term “The Great Wall of Chinamen” – it is as you read it – where all around you is .. men. Kind of scared me, but just like David Copperfield, I slowly got through to the otherside. There was nothing on the otherside though, except for the dancing pole. I didn’t dance on it.
Entertainment: Tonight is a Tattoo theme night – at the back was a tattoo artist giving out free fake tattoos. Later there was also a real tattoo contest were girls step up and show some tattoos to try and win some money.
Atmosphere: Quite busy upon entry. Packed at the front with little dancing room except on the podium and near the dance pole in the corner. Outside is more relaxed, you could find your own spot to have a chat then get your clothes and skin contaminated with cigarette smoke. Smoke rule also applies even if you were inside the club near the doors – to prevent overheating the glass walls have been opened up to allow all hot air out, but unfortunately smoke also come in.

Video

Click here to view the embedded video.

Of course, as part of any promotion, you need to tell people in the outside world that the club is full of chicks, so the cameraman pretty much videotaped any girl dancing. He really, really, really liked his job. Though, not all girls were ok to be filmed, even after a bit of coaxing. I hope that footage of me was put to good use.

Jason
The biggest recurrent thing that wasn’t here was Jason, everyone’s favourite Korean dancer, always up on the podiums. I’m sure he is just taking a week off tonight. If you don’t know him, you should ask someone who works there. He is a legend.

With dear readers of this website

Anyway a group of dearest readers hath found me in disguise! Was happy to have a chat and dance – Though they did think my name was Jason – if I could only earn a dollar everytime someone called me Jason I could retire, haha.

Arrivederci
Left at closing time. A testament to the crowd giving its all throughout the night.

Final Thoughts
We were pretty adamant about going in, but I’m thinking this place would be better for a dance than Verandah, as that place has gotten a bit too successful. Each to their own. More room certainly helps with congestion within the dancefloor. I would suggest if you are going with friends to send a guestlist and get yourself cheaper entry. Also, do keep the crowd type in mind – there are quite a number of non-local Asians here. Overall it’s not as bad as it used to be, but I still despise going home smelling like cigarettes.

Post-observation – if you had your photo taken, don’t be surprised it it doesn’t show up on the promoter facebook page. I couldn’t find myself in any photos. You have about a 500% better chance if you’re a chick.

Crowd

 Sneaky Sundays @ Hugo’s Lounge
Assessment Time: 1:10AM – 2:30AM
Opening Hours: Open throughout early evening to late (closing time unknown)
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 33 Bayswater Road, Kings cross (Upstairs and opposite World Bar/Candy’s Apartment – Don’t confuse this with the entrance to TheClub, which is on street level and in front of Hugo’s Lounge)
Venue Website: http://www.hugos.com.au
Event Website: http://www.hugos.com.au/newsletter/whats%20on/
Occurrence: Every Sunday since 1999
Outside Line: No line at arrival
Dress Code / Door Policy: At least smart casual here, lest you be declined entry at the door. If you even wore casual and managed to get in, you would look out-of-place here tonight, so dress your best
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free at the time of arrival.
Guestlist: N/A

Inside: Walk upstairs to get to the outdoor area of the bar. On your far right would be a small bar with 5 or 6 lounges along the wall in between. A bar to your left with more lounges around. The view overlooks the street where you can see people walking around a distance away from where you stand. Walk to the covered part of the bar, where the scene is a bit darker and more club like. Disco laser lights are everywhere in the middle of the dancefloor, as well as a ceiling full of shiny disco balls. It makes for a dazzling experience when you’re in the middle of it. The dancefloor is in the middle to hold 70-90 or so people comfortably/squishily. Bar on the right alongside the DJ. Lounges on the other side where you can also look outside the windows below.
Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: Had a beer but honestly can’t remember the price. It wasn’t cheap neither expensive. Beverage is happily given in the bottle instead of a plastic cup. There was only one order in front of us at this particular bar. The other bars were pretty quiet as well, so there wouldn’t be trouble getting a drink within a few minutes.
Eviction Count: None. I doubt they remember kicking me and my kleptomaniac friend out 2 years ago (and rightfully so).
DJs: Traditionally the Sneaky Sound System DJ’s played here but I don’t think they play anymore here. Not sure who the DJs were tonight.
Music Style: Disco house would be best to describe it. The tempo was right for a Sunday night – not fast enough for a shuffle, but not slow like an RSL – it was right for a jiggle and a dance when you felt like it.
Crowd & Ratio: It was a bit of a mix – mostly locals here of Anglo-Saxon background, but also some tourists here too just looking for a place for a dance. Spotted two Asian people – turned out they were tourists a well. Ages appeared to be mostly young 20 something year olds. Ratio was around 60/40 men to women tonight.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment.
Atmosphere: Best described as quiet on the outside (OK it was barely happening – anyone could get a lounge to themselves on arrival). Inside the lounge situation was similar, with most patrons on the dancefloor. It was a Sunday night and there weren’t that many people on the dancefloor either. I would say 2 or 3 groups of friends were here as well as some couples. To be honest it was more than I expected considering how dead it was outside on the streets of Kings Cross. That said though, it’s very dark inside the dancefloor and the place does prove that a dark yet classy nightclub can be pulled off.

Video: Music Timeline

Click here to view the embedded video.

Recommendation
For a Sunday night out in the city you can definitely have a look at this place but don’t expect a big crowd, but expect a more relaxed and quiet atmosphere. For similar alternatives there is also Goldfish lounge down the road but which is a bit smaller and less ‘dancey’.

Macquarie Hotel: Bar area - Dancefloor behind the white wall

Easter Monday @ Macquarie Hotel Liverpool Sydney

Assessment Time: 10:30PM – 02:15AM
Opening Hours: It’s open all day until 3AM, but I think the DJ starts at 10PM or earlier
Lockout: No lockout I believe
Address: 269 Liverpool St, Liverpool, Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.macquariehotelliverpool.com.au
Promoter Website: Self Promoted event
Occurrence: A once off event for Easter Monday
Outside Line: No line outside. It was like this pretty much the entire night, so its good.
Dress Code / Door Policy: No hats allowed inside. There is no recommendation by promkoters, but the majority here are wearing casual clothing – t-shirts, jeans, hoodie jackets. Guys wearing t-shirts, and girls wearing simple dresses tonight.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry all night
Inside: Walk inside past the gaming area (and secondary bar) to enter a large room split into two areas. “Open air” Smoking dancefloor at the front to hold 120 people or so. DJ out at front and bar at the back, where you stand.
Cloak Room: No cloak room tonight
Bar Prices / Line: $11 for a can of Smirnoff Double Black. $5 for a glass of house red wine (it was pretty bitter). Early and later in the night there isn’t much of a line, but during peak time the line is about 4 people deep – so approximately a wait of 15 minutes, but I didn’t even try – just head over to the other side in the gaming lounge where the smaller secondary bar is – there are usually fewer people so you may have a chance of getting your drinks sooner – however the choice is more limited here. BUT… they did give out free pastries and pies from the kitchen. We helped ourselves to a handful of these delicious goodies to go with whatever you are drinking. It took us a good 2 minutes to convince a group of girls nearby that the pies were, indeed, free.
Eviction Count: None that I saw. Crowd looked well-behaved tonight anyways.
Music Style: From the start to about 1:30 it was primarily commercial RnB with the house mashup song thrown in. 1:30-2:00AM it was very trancey with some rock song remixes thrown in, just to mix it up. The crowd didn’t seem very receptive to the unknown trance songs (no vocals), and the rock songs such as Kings of Leon, were so-so. From 2:00AM until close, it was pretty much entirely American hip hop / rap / West Coast, whatever you wish to call it. I’m familiar with the songs and dance to it but friends are not familiar with these songs.
Crowd & Ratio: Initially composed of visitors who were here earlier in the day, the ratio is 50/50 Asian and European/Middle Eastern guys here. Ages varied wildly between early 20′s to late 40′s. I am pretty sure I saw a woman here who was at least 40 or 50 – probably here for a birthday. However don’t be surprised if you see a much older crowd here. Mostly though, the crowd would be in their 20′s. Ratio wise, I would be saying 65%:35% at its best during peak.
Entertainment: An MC to keep things going. I must note he was pretty good at his freestyling and keeping the crowd alive. I might have just probably paid more attention tonight to him, but MCing isn’t an easy job, that is for sure.
Atmosphere: 10:30-11:00PM it was still building up, so not much dancing to be had, but by the time 11:00PM came around, the dance floor was pretty busy, but you could always find yourself some space to dance around – we found a spot at the front and danced our merry way without much problem. Again the front here is considered an open area, because of the open roof (which was pretty much closed due to the rain), and so smoking was more than welcome here. I dislike cigarette smoke muchly, but such is the venue. To alleviate the smoke smell as well as possible overheating issues, mists of water are sprayed down on the crowd occasionally, which is pretty cool (ha!)
Video: Walkthrough and music montage

Click here to view the embedded video.

Pies on the house

The turn out

I think in general it wasn’t going off as it does on the weekend, but for a Monday night it is quite the extraordinary turn out I must admit. It also helped that there was no event going on at Nox nightclub down the road; all locals have to come here.

Western Sydney is awesome
I met someone who was from Adelaide – she said tonight was better than ANY club in Adelaide! Are you kidding me? That’s hilarious, to have this nightclub an hour away from the city bigger than anything in Adelaide – but I have to see it for myself. I think a trip to Adelaide is in order …

Arrivederci
Left at 2:00AM. Friends looked a bit tired and aren’t fans of the West Coast Rap music. (I personally like it)

Recommendation
It was alright during its peak time, but I wasn’t too excited. A once off so no score given.

Central dance area (2:30AM)

Easter Saturday @ Fusion Nite/Night Spot, Cronulla
Assessment Time: 12:15AM – 02:45AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 03:00AM
Lockout: Unsure, but likely to be enforced due to the attentiveness of RSA staff here
Address: 84 Cronulla St, Cronulla
Venue Website: No official website that I could find (I am sure I found it). FB: http://www.facebook.com/pages/FUSION-NITE-SPOT-Cronulla/234586068300
Promoter Website: Self Promoted Event
Occurrence: Every Saturday. Fridays are also open under a different event name.
Outside Line: About 20 people in front of us with a waiting time of about 10 minutes.
Dress Code: No hats are allowed in side. Anything goes here, and most are locals dressed up in casual gear – shirts, jeans etc. I met a guy inside with long dreadlocks so there you go. Girls wear whatever makes them feel sexy. I particularly very overdressed just wearing collared shirts, let alone with ties, dress shoes and blazers to match, but better than underdressed, right?
Door Policy: “How many drinks have you had?” – The standard sobriety question. At this place, the guy asking is very particular – if you look even slightly drunk then you’re denied entry. Speaking to another patron of the club, she did say it was a 50/50 chance of getting in, whether you had been drinking or not. It’s a massive clamp down here, as there probably were some incidents in the past.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10 for the entire night. Let it be noted that there are no stamps given on your way in – That’s fine, but guess this – there are no stamps on your way out either! Huh? Yes.. why would they do such a thing? I was wondering the same thing – it turns out that every time you exit and want to re-enter the club, you need to pay an additional $10. Shameful! Does it keep the patrons inside though? Sure does.
Guestlist: None can be submitted. These guys don’t have a contactable email address that I could find.
Inside: The Fusion Nite Spot is situated on the upper level of its residence. Walk up the stairs and enter via the Southern side to face the middle of the room. On the SW corner to your left is a small bar to service the small lounge area to hold a small party of 20-30 people. Smoking area to hold about a handful of people along here as well. During busy times, there is actually a queue to go to the outside smoking area – it’s that small – and since people are not encouraged to leave.. you have to wait it out. On the NW corner is a second bar, to line up for 5 or 6 people. On the North wall is the DJ area, which is defined by the platform the DJ set stands on. On either side are lounges. To the NE corner are two pool tables and more tables and stools. This general area is a standing / drinking area. The SE/E corners is where the main bar and bathrooms area. There are also lockers and lounges. Right smack in the middle of it all is the dance floor – In the middle of this is a very thick mirrored column about 2×2 metres in the middle. Around the column is a tier of elevated podium dance area about 1 person wide, surrounded by the main dance area about 6×6 metres. This area is bordered by tables and metal poles, so the areas are pretty well defined, but there is nothing stopping you from dancing in other places around this central dance area. No drinks are allowed on the dance floor here, similar to Sting Bar’s policy. Cronulla must be the only place that I have seen purposely created signs that disallow patron to bring beverages to the dance floor.
Cloak Room: None, but I did spot some women using the lockers. I didn’t ask staff about the lockers so I am not sure if they are open to the public, but I would be guessing so, but I have no idea how the mechanism works.
Bar Prices / Line: The bar on the Eastern side is most busy, wich people constantly there placing orders. You would wait about 5 minutes for your order, which isn’t bad. If even that is too long, just hop on to the other side where the two other bars are usually less crowded and you will hopefully get an order faster here. Throughout the night there are also time-outs of 5-10 minutes, where alcohol is not allowed to be served to patrons.
Eviction Count: I saw someone nearly got kicked out, but after lots of negotiation managed to stay inside I believe.
DJs: Anthony K / Louise Love (sax)
Music Style: In the main proceedings of the night mostly a mix of Contemporary Commercial RnB and known commercial House track mash ups was being played here. Later nearing the end of the night it was more of a Hip Hop style of music, typical of a closing night of an RnB club – they even played Sexual Healing! It’s been a while since I’ve heard the clubs play that near the end of the night. This was definitely a club that fostered romance.
Crowd & Ratio: Like the other places around here, the entire crowd is pretty much local. Local Caucasian Australians are dominant here but there are also a tiny handful of islanders and Asians. Most of the guys are beefcakes though. Women are generally pretty well dressed, and looking pretty fine. Everyone here is pretty young  - ages range from teenagers to 20s… with a few late 20s early 30s too. Also some of the crowd that we saw at Sting Bar also made the trip down here later in the night. The ratio was quite okay here. It was probably on par or just slightly more guys for most of the night. Also there were plenty of people here so your options weren’t that limited.
Entertainment: No MCs or extra entertainment
Atmosphere: Pretty much all the crowded dancing action was here. Most of the people making out in the club were in the middle as well. Throughout the night it was constantly packed, so it was a bitch trying to dance well here – one can only manage to secure their own little spot and bob up and down. You actually had better luck going up on the central podium area as at least you only had two people next to you on either side, instead of being surrounded by people. Outside the immediate dance floor there was generally space for which daring people could dance here at the observation of the drinking crowd. The eastern side was quite busy with an extreme abundance of men particularly in the pool table corners. The other side was more balanced, but there were fewer people than that of the side with the main bar.

The general mood in the middle is party party with the darker lit atmosphere, lights and smoke machines helping out with the club feel tonight. The crowd seemingly are enjoying most of the songs being played tonight. Generally here the crowd is either quite friendly or tolerant, thought there were some aggravated blokes towards Marty at one time. I can’t blame them after he pretty much danced nearby near their little private space, right next to the dance floor. Besides that people were nice here. Some of the ladies were 50/50 friendly and cold.

Video: Walkthrough and Music Montage

Click here to view the embedded video.

one of the last photos with beloved jacket

Downside to wearing a nice jacket

I wasn’t sure on door policies tonight, so hence why we dressed up in blazers and all. I had my favourite blazer on tonight – bought it from overseas. Anyway someone came up and complimented how nice my jacket was, and asked if he could feel it. Strange, haha, so he felt it, and wondered if it was real velvet. Strange again! Gave my reply and he was happy.

It warmed up and I left my jacket next to where my friend was sitting. Half an hour later, my friend was still there in the same spot, but the jacket wasn’t. The jacket had pretty much been stolen! Only in Cronulla you going to guarantee your shit is going to get stolen. This on top of having the bunny ears stolen just an hour earlier really did not bide well with me, and I was pretty upset that there are people out there like that.

Is it coincidence that after I had been asked about my jacket, that it got stolen?

Arrivederci
Left just before closing time, when there were pretty much guys left in the place. The place closed in stages with the outside bar areas closing down, and finally the central area.

Recommendation
This is pretty much the only decent club around here. Sting Bar doesn’t have the populace and Northies is more of a watering hole. Carmens @ Miranda Hotel, down the road, I’ve been told has “gone down the drain” since I last visited. Strict alcohol rules here keep the venue safe. Fair entry price but no stamp policy is silly. Good tunes keep the friendly crowd going. Shame that someone stole my jacket. Next time, I would come back here with items of clothing I am okay with being stolen.

Fusion Nite Spot, Cronulla: 6/10

Dropping By: I Heart Unipackers @ Home Nightclub (The Terrace)
Assessment Time: 11:15PM – 11:30PM
Opening Hours: Unknown (probably 10:30PM) upto a probable 3:00AM finish
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 101 Wheat Rd, Darling Harbour, Sydney.
Venue Website: http://www.homesydney.com
Promoter Website: http://www.unipackers.com.au
Occurrence: Every Thursday
Outside Line: None as we entered.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes. I suppose no thongs here I guess.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20. Since we were on the Dragonboat cruise earlier, we got free entry tonight.
Guestlist: Unknown
Inside: It’s at Home Nightclub, but not the entire venue is utilised – it’s only the smaller Terrace area that is occupied tonight by the promoters. The terrace consists of two dance rooms. The ‘square’ room has a square wooden floor for about 60 people comfortably. It has its own bar and DJ. The slightly larger oddly shaped glass room is kind of triangular in shape, with the DJ area being at the pointed end. One side is lined with couches while the other side of the glass is the larger bar area than that of the other room. Dance floor area is a bit more smaller though, to hold 10-15 people.
Cloak Room: None that I could find.
Bar Prices / Line: I didn’t drink tonight, but the population was low, and so I could have gotten a drink if I needed to. Water line was separate and there were plenty of water to be had.
DJs: Steve Frank, and others.
Music Style: Main room appeared to play pop/RnB, while the ‘square’ room .. well I didn’t spend much time at all in there.
Crowd & Ratio: There were some folk from the cruise, and some other backpacking folk as well. Slightly more guys than girls here, with a total of about 30 people at this time.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment
Atmosphere: Not very lively. I thought backpacker events were supposed to be more packed. The ‘square’ room was pretty empty and desolate most of the time, while the glass main room only had 4-5 people at a time max on the dancefloor. It was very strange indeed. However though, it does get packed later in the night, according to the photos anyway. 
Video: Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline & Arrivederci
I had a bit of a dance with a fellow shuffler. After that though, we got bored, very quickly, and we left. It didn’t look like it was picking up at all.

Recommendation
Don’t come here early, though apparently it picks up later on. You are better of at this time of night (pre midnight) to visit other venues like Scary Canary or Side Bar for a bit of a crowd, plus you get free entry instead of paying to get inside.  

It does get very packed according to the pictures though, so there you go. I guess my time here was the calm before the storm.

Club 269 @ Macquarie Hotel

Assessment Time:12:00AM – 01:30AM
Opening Hours: The Hotel is open throughout the day, but the club event begins later in the night beginning around (probably 9:00PM or 10:00PM) until close at 03:00AM
Lockout: No apparent lockout
Address: 269 Liverpool St, Liverpool, Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.macquariehotelliverpool.com.au
Promoter Website: Self Promoted event
Occurrence: Once a month on a Saturday. However every Saturday it is basically the same event but with a different angle to it.
Outside Line: Maybe 5 people in front, but they were let in pretty much right away, so we didn’t wait long at all.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual is ok, and so its pretty much okay to come here wearing what you are comfortable with, so long as you’re not in your daggy Adidas trackpants that you can unbutton all the way up on the side.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: None
Inside: Walk inside past the gaming arera (and secondary bar) to enter a large room split into two areas. Dancefloor and DJ out at front and bar at the back, where you stand.
Cloak Room: None available
Bar Prices / Line: I didn’t buy any drinks tonight, but waiting with a friend there was only one , or two orders maximum in front of us.
Music Style: Primarily Commercial RnB tonight
Crowd & Ratio: Most people here are of the young Asian Australian type. Possible Teeny Bopperss here, but they all look the same. I would say at least half to 75% of the people here are Asian. The rest are a mix of Islander, Indian, Caucasian, etc etc.
Entertainment: Just the MC to keep things going.
Atmosphere: Primarily contemporary Pop/Rnb that you hear on the commercial radio. Occasional house song thrown in. It’s your normal RnB night tonight. It isn’t as packed as the Pure nights, probably because Future Music Festival was on tonight. So, I was surprised to see the venue at a less than optimal capacity. It was still alive, but not as much as other typical Saturday nights. It’s also an open smoking area on the dancefloor so you can get some whiffs of ciggie smoke onto you.
Timeline
Straight to it then
I can’t remember what happened but I did say hi to someone, we got along well.. maybe there was a spark there… then suddenly we get massively got cockblocked by her friend who appeared out of nowhere to save her friend from a lifetime of happiness. The CB pretty much almost whacked me. Too bad.

A free 4 way drink
Some birthday girls me and a friend spoke with earlier came to us.. and had bought a drink for us to share! It was one drink with 4 straws in it. Two straws for us and two straws for them. I wonder where this was leading too. Anyway, this wasn’t some huge as glass to drink out of – it was the tiny small ass glasses that a first time drinker would have. So we ended up having like 50mL’s each of alcohol. haha I didn’t see the point. After that instead of them hanging around for a chat.. they walked away. Interesting.

FIRE ALARM!
It’s about 1:00AM and the music is cut off, replaced with the sound of BEEP.. BEEP… BEEP… (meaning get ready for a possible evac) soon turning quickly into a WOOP… WOOP… WOOP. It was a fire alarm telling us to ‘GTFO!’. However looking around, everyone looked like stunned mullets not knowing what to do. And where WERE the proper fire wardens for this type of emergency? It wasn’t a fire drill. Most of the crowd were looking at the MC, who probably was just as shocked as everyone else. So I put on my metaphorical hat and told two reasonably good looking girls to follow me out, so they did.. sadly though the alarm stopped, and they ran back onto the dancefloor to resume dancing.

Arrivederci
Pretty knackered, and I wanted to go back home, so we left. Place was beginning to die.

Recommendation
The Pure Saturday nights are better, but I would solely contribute the lesser crowd due to Future Music Festival being held tonight. Also disturbed about the lack of fire wardens at a possible fire situation, but I would imagine the same response would happen if the fire alarm went off at any other club.

Club 269 @ Macquarie Hotel : 4.5/10

1:30AM Inside crowd shot of about half the floor

Out tonight to celebrate Special K’s birthday tonight – I’m a bit late but I’m here now – wooo! Here we go!

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar
Assessment Time: 01:30AM – 03:30AM
Opening Hours: 10:30PM (or earlier) – 03:30AM
Lockout: Unknown, probably 03:00AM
Address: Corner Elizabeth St and Martin Place.
Venue Website: http://www.martinplacebar.com.au
Promoter Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au
Occurrence: Every Saturday night for the past few years. Recently celebrated their 5th anniversary.
Outside Line: There wasn’t much of a line – probably 2 people in front when I arrived for late entry.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Most people are smart casual, but casual is okay here. I was feeling daggy tonight – I’m wearing an out of fashion jacket with loose t-shirt and a pair of old jeans with matching runners. I looked really shithouse tonight.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Full price $25. $20 on guestlist before midnight. Free entry for ladies before 11PM with appropriate voucher, and free entry promotion for first year university/tafe students.
Guestlist: Submit via the promoter website above.
Inside: Nothing has changed since last time, except that the dancing pole has been removed, probably for safety reasons, as I have seen dancing poles fall down before. Anyways, to recap, walk into a long narrow room which is half occupied by the bar. The dancefloor fits about 5-8 people wide while it stretches along the length of the bar 30-40 people deep. There is a small VIP area at the back with a secondary bar about 8 people wide. Further out from the main bar and dancefloor is a corresponding outdoor/smoking area.
Cloak Room: I didn’t utilize cloak room services tonight, but it is found at the far back corner near the gambling area.
Bar Prices / Line: $9 for a vodka lemonade from memory. The line was 2-3 people deep, but birthday girl somehow managed to squeeze her way (ie push in) through these people within 2-3 minutes. I learned some dirty tactics that girls use, and realise that lining up at the bar is pretty much a battle zone in the eyes of a girl. I do advocate lining up rightly so, but some people I guess want their drink much more than others.
Music Style: Mostly contemporary american RnB, with the occasional house song thrown in to mash things up.
Crowd & Ratio: Almost everyone here is Asian. I did come very late into the night so there were noticeably more guys, but that’s typical of a normal club at this time. The girls here, may not be many but they were pretty decent looking.
Entertainment: They did have podium dancers (woo!) and Jason the Korean bum dancer was here as well. If you haven’t seen him in action, you just have to be there on most Saturdays here. Highly recommended. Hmm… It’s also only hit me just now after all these years that he loves polo shirts…
Atmosphere: Pretty busy and hard extremely to find your own personal space for a dance spot inside.. until around 2:15ish AM when some people left the club. In the meantime, dancing outside, at the very back or front near the DJ, or on the podiums would have to suffice for people just reentering the dancefloor area.

Timeline
Getting free entry:
Tonights promotion was free entry tonight if you were a 1st year university student – Oh heck yeah, I’m first year! So I proudly showed off my student card, but I was knocked down hard as it was not accepted – Apparently first year post-graduates aren’t included in the “first year” offer! DANGNAMNIT. After some whining, they were nice enough to give me $5 off. Someone totally needs to a post-grad party night, full of mature aged students. Probably nobody would come to this mythical party, but I would be there! booyah!

Story of one depressed girl
We spot a girl who looks a bit sad. She’s moping, and sitting on a podium. She looks possibly under the influence of a substance of some sort. later, we spot her taking a huge 2cm pill or some sort and popping it into her mouth. Literally a minute later she is no longer mopey and sad. She is happy again!! haha, so strange – it could have been meds, I don’t know. There is a guy standing right next to her the whole time who appears to be looking after her. He then tries to kiss her and she brushes him off. Oh it was just some creep.

Here comes some girls talking to her – Must be her friends – I wonder where they were before? Anywaythen they leave her alone again! What kind of friends are those? No idea.. maybe they weren’t her friends. Two more guys who were loitering around talk to her and try to get their grind on. It doesn’t work, but its probably become apparent that her friends have deserted her, she has her crunk on as well as her sadness going on.. and guys are doing their best to get with her.  The poor soul. We ask if she is okay. Incomprehensible response followed by moping. Security don’t seem to mind, but then, she isn’t causing trouble nor she is passed out. Hmm… At the end of the night she’s alone outside crying again. I wonder what happened. Usually if you’re sad / crying you leave the club instead of hanging around for an hour or so… seeing happy people wouldn’t necessarily help the cause, right?? There was no real funny side to this story. It just kinds of highlights the seedier side of the club scene.

Woo
Alright, so Special K and I are up on the podium or nearby dancing.. basically yelling “woohoo!” and “Yeeha”! to any nearby clubbers. This went on for probably 30-45 minutes, which was pretty awesome. Nobody seemed to care too much though.

Arrivederci
Left at closing time. A handful of girls left and about 25 guys at this point of closure.

Recommendation
It’s still the same old Bamboo, so if you haven’t been do check it out, but if you have been – nothing new to report. I was here pretty late in the night, so I did cop a lot of guy action.. might have been better/more packed earlier in the night.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 6.5/10

NB: A ‘relaunch’ of the Bamboo event on 2nd April 2011 occurred which changes how the night is run, so it may be better for returning patrons.

General crowd shot 12AM

Gossip @ The Gypsy Lounge Nightclub (Havana / OneSixNine)
Note: Gypsy nightclub was formerly known late last year as gay club OneSixNine, while before that it was known as the straight club ‘Havana Club de Luxe’, where Fridays was a regular Asian RnB night. The promoters for tonight are different from the previous RnB promoters.
Assessment Time: 12:00AM – 01:45AM
Opening Hours: 10:30AM – 02:00AM
Lockout: None
Address: 169 Oxford St
Venue Website: Unkown
Promoter Website: http://www.xclusivproductionz.com http://www.facebook.com/pages/Xclusiv-Productionz/24109750459
Occurrence: Every Friday since late last year.
Outside Line: None
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual was okay tonight. Some guys wore t-shirts, some wore collared shirts. Girls wore their typical dresses and stuff.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Oh I wish I remembered how much I paid tonight, but I didn’t keep a mental note. Silly me. It certainly wasn’t $25. Either $20 or $15.
Guestlist: At time of writing, the official contact is bee (at) xclusivproductionz.com
Inside: Layout hasn’t changed at all since last year under the Havana name – You walk upstairs to the second level of this building, where you are in the back of the club – on your left are bathrooms, the close right has the back bar with 2 tables in front. Far back right corner is the VIP room, with its own bar to hold a small party of 40-50 people. On the front left is a sofa area split into 4, with its own bar, and likewise for the front right. The dancefloor is at the middle front, with floorspace to hold 200 or so people.
Cloak Room: I didn’t check, but the small corner where they typically had cloak room services was closed.
Bar Prices / Line: No lines at the bars, you were getting service right away.. A Smirnoff double black costs $13.
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Primarily American RnB tonight
Crowd & Ratio: Our group were all mid 20′s and above. The rest of the crowd were under 25. It was approximately 50%-60% Asian with the rest being European with a trickle of Pacific Islander. Considering there were about 20-30 of us in total, it is not a very good representation of what this place would be like if it were to reach capacity.
Entertainment: None. Tickets were offered to Good Vibrations Festival on the promotional poster, but these never materialised into any sort of competition in the club while I was there. I might have missed out by coming late.
Atmosphere: Depressingly dead. Everything was set – bars, DJ, lights, even a photographer, but there was a distinct lack of humanly bodies. We were hoping it would pick up later at around midnight to 1AM, but it only marginally increased in population
Video Montage:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Also copious amounts of alcohol were called for.

M and myself

Bumping into my brother
A tap on the shoulder – It’s my 20 year old brother. Oh Jesus holy sweet Christ…  He’s looking at me, with a random girl next to me. He probably saw us making out earlier –  Not awkward at all, and some responsible older brother I am. He was here with other friends for a birthday.

Arrivederci
Special K and co left around 1:15AM. We left 1:45AM.

Final Thoughts
It is sad to see the old Havana turn into a dead event under new promoter, as the venue itself is quite good. I’m not expecting this event to last for much longer – something magical needs to happen. I was hoping for some renovations during the gay phase, but it appears (from what I could tell) that nothing was changed. If you have been before and enjoyed it, it would be best to keep those happy thoughts in your memory and not ruin it by visiting this event.

Gossip @ Gypsy Nightclub: 2/10

DJs

Dropping by: We love Indie @ Forbes Hotel
Assessment Time: 02:15AM – 02:45AM
Opening Hours: 20:00PM – Unknown
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 30 York Street
Venue Website: http://www.theforbeshotel.com.au/
Promoter Website: Unknown / Possibly self promoted
Occurrence: Every Saturday
Outside Line: On entering tonight, there wasn’t a line.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual was okay here. Most people tonight wore casual or a collared shirt. Girls were dressy.. nothing too special.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10
Guestlist: No guestlist
Inside: Walk inside to the Forbes Hotel on street level with a central bar and stools around. This is the lower chillout area. There is really only standing room here, as it is a small pub. Walk up the staircase on the left to the upper level. It’s of a dancefloor area to hold only 40 or 50 patrons. DJ on the right, and a bar on the left to serve the floor. 2 tier podium has been setup in the front stage. Smoking balcony to hold 3 people is in the corner of the room, which simply overlooks the street below.
Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: The line was possibly a 5 to 10 minute wait.
DJs: Unknown tonight but the websites lists the following DJ’s on rotation: Lone Wolf, DJ & Coke, Urby, Mick Jones and Miss Velveteen
Music Style: Indie Rock Music, with a heavy British influence
Crowd & Ratio: Mostly Caucasian crowd, and pretty much most people here, possibly everyone here is a tourist backpacker. Age ranges from teenagers to early 30′s, pretty friendly to chat with. 
Entertainment: No extra entertainment during my time here.
Atmosphere: Well, its tiny compared to other venues, but it appeared that despite the small crowd here, people did sing along and dance to the songs being played tonight.
Video Montage: – 360 of the room from the bar and 180 view from the podium

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline

I did some dancing, chatted to some of the crowd here, some were drunk, some were friendly. The two friends sat this one out – they had no idea about any of the music that was being played tonight. You really needed to know your Indie / Rock music here, as you can’t easily dance to the music at all without knowing the songs.

Recommendation
Come here if you wanted an Indie fix in the city on a Saturday night, and don’t mind a very small crowd/atmosphere.

Greenwood Hotel Thursdays Dance area. DJ on the right. (12:50AM)

Finally, I have a Friday off work. I have decided to spend Thursday night visiting Greenwood Hotel, which apparently gets pretty busy. C was free as well, so off we went to check it out .. here we go!

Lining up: Thursdays @ Greenwood Hotel
Assessment Time: Midnight- 00:45AM
Address: 36 Blue St, North Sydney, NSW.
Venue Website: http://www.greenwoodhotel.com
Promoter Website: Appears to be self promoted.
Occurrence: Every Thursday
Outside Line: We waited for 45 minutes before giving up. For the poor souls who arrived here at around the midnight or just before midnight (i.e. Me and C), we are hoarded like cows to the line. The lining up area is a down sloping ramp which begins wide at about 8 people and narrows down to about 4 people wide. Being a special type of lining area that it is, without rope or restrictions on how the people flow, it kind of became a moshpit, where little pushy bitches of girls push in and the guys silently complain. More details below.
Dress Code / Door Policy:
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: No guestlists are taken here. It’s one shared line, and free entry all night.
Inside: I didn’t get to go inside tonight, but based on previous encounters during the day and from what C told me tonight: Walk straight into the front courtyard where a DJ stand is setup in the middle, with people. The building itself is in a C shape formation, with 3 bars inside. The dance area is enclosed by the three sides of the hotel. DJ is inside as well. Out back is the courtyard for smoking, relaxing, chatting, whatever.
Music Style: Dominantly Commercial / Contemporary House. There are some RnB mashups as well, but are ony short samples taken. There is also a second DJ inside the chapel playing RnB, according to the website.
Crowd & Ratio: “I’m getting my L plates next week”… “You need 86 UAI to get into commerce, I hope I get in” … these were the lines overheard while lining up. Its become clear that you are amongst a dominantly young teenage crowd. For tonight, most are local Aussie teenagers. I saw one young Asian guy lining up but that was it really, in terms of the ethnic make up in line.
Atmosphere: Didn’t go inside, but from what I could see from outside, people were dancing away in the courtyard, but not too vigorously. They look like they are just swaying their arms and bodies around. Ok, so they can’t dance so well, but we clubbers all were once like that. C (who went inside) reports that the bars on the inside were not that packed at all, and that everyone could have been easily let in without problem. It was just the outside courtyard dance area at the front and drinking areas at the back that were busy. It is possible the venue isn’t licensed to hold more patrons, but I’ve seen other regular drinking nights where it has been packed out.
Video: 180 of the DJ area. Taken from the back of the crowd:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

DJ area with smokes, lighting etc

QF @ Mansions Hotel (I think at time of writing this event has ceased)

Assessment Time: 11:30PM – 01:45AM
Opening Hours: 10:00PM – 03:00AM (?)
Lockout: No lockout as far as I believe, however there are no pass-outs before midnight.
Address: 14 Oxford Square, (Oxford St), Darlinghurst Sydney. It’s right next to The Gaff, opposite Hungry Jacks. It’s basically an expanded/extended smoking area of The Gaff, but for tonight is closed off on its own to hold its own venue.
Venue Website: http://www.thegaff.com.au until the official website is launched (at time of writing)
Promoter Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au
Occurrence: Every Friday
Outside Line: No line outside when we arrived.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty much casual/smart casual here tonight, which was the case here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 standard entry, $20 guestlist entry. Free before 10:30PM on guestlist and discounted ($5 off) entry before midnight.
Guestlist: qf@urbanagent.com.au
Inside: It’s a small/cosy venue. After you finally find the place, you will notice the smoking balcony area next to the entrance, access from the inside. Walk inside through the entry room to enter the main dancefloor to hold a small crowd of 50 or so people. DJ is on an overhanging mini balcony setup in the far right corner. This takes up about one third of the floor area of the venue. Walk to the left to where multiple lounges reside for about 4 or 5 separate parties, with a slightly larger VIP areas (for 10) in the far corner next to the bar and one on the opposite side of the lounge area (for approx 10-20). Middle area of the lounge is more of less standing area, while the bar is on the far left wall of the middle lounge area.
Cloak Room: Cloak room services at $4 (or it could have been $5) per item. Very reasonable.
Bar Prices / Line: There’s about 1 or 2 people in front of you. The wait can be between 2 minutes to 10 minutes. Bad luck if you are a guy at this venue, as the bartender told me girls get priority over the guys here. WHAT!! That’s so unfair. All I wanted was a glass of water. HMPH! Lucky if you’re a girl.
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Primarily Contemporary African American RnB/Pop, with classics on later in the night as well as the occasional house mashup thrown in throughout the night.
Crowd & Ratio: Pretty much mostly Asian. It’s a mix of local Aussie Asians and Asians from a non-English speaking background. There are some Anglos here who got lost or sneaked into the venue here from the Gaff next door. Despite having a tape at the junction between the Gaff and Mansions, it was noted that a handful of people did just simply walk in, in front of everybody present. This happened last time as when I was here at Mansions.
Entertainment: Podium dancers! Of course that meant podiums on the dancefloor, and one in the lounge area as well. They brought in Anglo-Saxon dancers, who probably were a bit fascinated to dance at an Asian RnB event. Lights were brought in as well tonight. Also on board are photographers to take your shots. Because it was such a small venue, a photo of you would probably be taken multiple times throughout the night.
Atmosphere: It’s a small place, and upon entry I was expecting a lot of people but the place wasn’t even half full yet. I was able to go in and find a place to sit down and chillax. Quite the difference from the previous Friday “Shanghai Nights” at Brooklyn Hotel, where even though the place was stinking full of people, at least there were people. It’s a tough job being a promter. Anyway, I was pretty underwhelmed with the turnout. Between midnight and 1:00AM it was very good on the dancefloor where everyone was, and during this time it did feel like a club atmosphere, but this left the lounge area half of the venue largely empty, not that anybody cared. At around 1:30-02:00AM the place was pretty much dying or close to dead. Not even folk who came in from next door could save it. I was tempted to leave altogether just before 1AM.. it was that bad in my experience.
Video: Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
A first time clubber
Well, we met someone who claimed it was her first time clubbing. Alright, it was time to show her how it was done! Jumped right onto the podium and went through my standard silly dance moves. The crowd are amused and the photographers, who have pretty much photographed everything there was by now, are having a ball of a time taking photos of me. The real dancers joke and laugh and cheer me on. Of course they are better than me, but were they gutsy enough to come up and show your their stuff? Nah – they were way too modest, even though there was an empty podium on the other side of the room. Oh well, I TAKE ALL THE ATTENTION THANK YOU VERY MUCH NOW

General crowd shot - QF @ Mansions nightclub

Best thing about her first time clubbing was that this place has set the standard. And that standard wasn’t set too high. From now on she will have a massively awesome time to any club she visits. Ha!

You don’t know who I am! Hectic.
Blah blah blah. We are talking. Standard run of the mill conversation:
James: “I’m James”
Promoter: “I’m xxxxx”
James: “What brings you here?”.
Promoter: “i’m a promoter here”
James: “Oh, really”
Promoter: “Yeah,, you know. Urban Agent?”
James: “I know”. <pause>
Promoter: “why are you here?”
James: I don’t remember what I said, but at this point in time I was surprised that he didn’t know who I was. In the past few months, any Asian promoters I came across knew who I was, so I just guessed most Asian promoters in Sydney knew of me. Apparently I am wrong – it’s a good thing as I like to be sneaky when doing a review. 
Promoter: “I just started promoting”
Oh.. that explains it.

He was a nice friendly guy making sure people and guests are happy, as promoters should be.

01:30AM looking at the bar

Arrivederci
The place was dying, and we were here for about 30 minutes too long. We left.

Recommendation
I would say considering I’ve been here twice under two different promoters, that its best to visit this place just once to see what its like (it’s a good experience to go to a small club once in your life), then avoid going there again by free will, unless it’s for a birthday, cheap drinks (and free entry) or something you are not allowed to miss. If the juggernaut that is Urban Agent can’t take this place to capacity or close to it, I don’t know what will.

QF @ Mansions Nightclub: Friday 3rd December 2010: 3/10

Sienna @ Establishment - Dance area and seating area behind. Actual dancing area width spanned from the white pole on the right of the photo to the middle pole. Length was double this picture.

Sienna @ Establishment Hotel

Assessment Time: 11:30PM-01:30AM and 02:30AM-03:00AM. I spent one hour in between to visit Brooklyn Hotel and Jackson’s on George.
Opening Hours: 09:00PM – 03:00AM
Lockout: No lockout.
Address: 252 George St, Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.merivale.com/establishment/hotel
Promoter Website: http://www.rnbsuperclub.com , http://www.facebook.com/sydney-australia/sienna
Occurrence: Every Saturday
Outside Line: The line appeared to be pretty long. Maybe 20-30 deep. Then when you think about it, it wasn’t that long of a wait. We waited about 15 minutes before we were let in. The line moved faster than we are used to at the Asian events.
Dress Code / Door Policy: You pretty much have to dress nicely to get in, or at least fit in here. Pretty much all the guys here have collared shirts, and many have vests and ties to match. Girls equally are dressed immaculately.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: 2 for 1 entry before 10PM, if you printed out their flyer or had a promotional card for this month. Otherwise it was $15 for the entire night. I was expecting to pay at least $20 but was pleasantly surprised to see $15 for non-guestlist pricing. I wonder how much it was to be on the guestlist..
Guestlist: These need to be submitted via the promoter website, or you can contact on the facebook page.
Inside: The entrance of the venue is more of a chillout area where lounges to the left and right hold 30 each. The entire venue is a long, long room, with a long, long bar to match most of the length of it. The bar eats up about half the space here in the main room. People will need to stand around on the left hand side to mingle with some room to dance. The left side of the bar area could hold 100 people or so. On the far end of the bar, the DJ is located not on the right hand side, but on the left hand side near the window, which was surprising. The immediate dance area next to the DJ can hold another 100 or so people.
Cloak Room: The cloak room was available but surprisingly all I saw was an empty rack of coathangers – I don’t think not even one soul used the cloak room that night.
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight, but the line up for a drink was very short, and half the time the bartenders are looking around looking for someone to serve.
DJs: The entire time we were here, DJ Def Rok was playing, but other DJ’s listed on the site include G-Wizard, Lilo, Eko and Troy T – they could have been playing earlier. The obvious benefit of having one DJ for the majority of the night is that there are no repeated songs!
Music Style: As stated, no repeated songs. RnB is the primary choice tonight, and its a good selection, always keeping the crowd up and about. The style of RnB wasn’t all American African based RnB, there was a very strong latin fused theme going on tonight regarding the songs being played here tonight. Think of Daddy Yankee, Pitbull, Shakira… there was a lot more of this ‘summery’ style of RnB being played. There was also the occasional house mashup as well. DJ mixed well, no complaints.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment.
Crowd & ratio: A good even mix of guys and girls here. Mostly young 18-low 20′s. Nothing to complain about .. there might have actually been more women here than men when i think about it. Dominantly a wog euro crowd from locally around here. The rest are Aussie, with a very small minority of Asians and what not. Also this is the first warm weekend after the previous washouts, and on top of this its the end of semester for uni students and the end of year 12 for all the others – its a big one.
Atmosphere: I’ll leave this in the words of M who was with me: ‘Although Establishment is quite a spacious bar, the impractical layout inside drastically inhibits mobility. The enormous bar in the centre of everything means all traffic is funneled into two streams moving around the bar. The problem with this is that people do not co-ordinate their movements collectively. So you have people who are trying to move to the back obstructing the people who are trying to access the main bar at the front and those who are trying to leave moving in the opposite direction; the people queued at the bar stretch perpendicularly across the walkway obstructing people moving in any direction; and the people dancing occupy every other remaining space. To make things worse, long tables and chairs are lined along the centre of the walkways, constricting the already negligible traffic flow even further, as the people seated at these tables do not move at all until their bottles are empty. After a frustrating crawl through the crowd at the bar, and another crowd at the DJ stand, we finally find some reasonably unoccupied space at the back in the outdoor lounge area. The music is perfect with fresh tracks and the DJ is mixing it together well. Most of the people around the DJ stand are dancing and having a good time and unafraid to enjoy themselves.’ I would agree with the thoroughfare issue – it’s a very busy area along the side; the majority of people were on the pretty packed dancefloor. Atmosphere is also very vibrant amongst the patrons while not overheating thanks to the high ceiling. I liked it.
Video: Walkthrough video of the entrance, walk along the length of the bar, through the busy dancefloor and into the back area where a second bar resides.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Video: 360 of the dance area

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Timeline
No fun in the main dancefloor area
As written above, we kind of found ourselves a non-crowded spot behind the DJ area in the back bar area, where we could expressively dance with our feet, hands and any other bodily gestures that would have otherwise not been possible in the main dancefloor. I did try to dance for a bit in the main area, but you were only stuck to bopping up and down in the same spot and not being able to spin without hitting somebody. half the time in there was spent making way for other people to pass through anyway.

I dunno
Hey, some girls saw me dance, and dared one of them to dance with me. So I dance back, and then they were kind of creeped out. I seriously didnt’ do anything. No grinding or nothing. Ok, maybe a few ‘woohoos’ and ‘yeahs’ but that was it. Strange.

Newtown’s first law of motion
This other girl saw us dance and joined us in the fun. Where are her friends? They’re sitting on the two tables next to us, STARING. Just staring at us dance away. “Get your friends up!” I demand. She tries, but none of them want to even try to stand up and dance and do stupid things. They were so sober.

Planet of the dancers
Random dude came up to me and did a mini dance, which is best described as two gorillas jumping up and down, with their arms in fist formation waving crazily. haha kinda funny.

Wax on..and stays on (by M)
“So I lean on the table for a breather, and the piece of furniture promptly inverts itself into the air spilling its contents everywhere! Smooth. Needless to say I was quite startled and quickly set the table right, but the damage was done – the candle holder that had been on the table spilt wax along the back of my coat. No amount of rinsing could remove it either despite a sustained and frantic effort in the restroom, leaving me with a suspicious looking prominent white stain on my black coat.”

Hahaha, no sympathy from me.

Performance Anxiety (by M)
“The interior design of the restrooms at Establishment was rather poorly thought out. They have full length mirrors lined along every wall, including the walls adjacent to the urinals – an unfortunate glance in the wrong place when first coming into the men’s room and the reflection of another bloke’s junk would hit you square in the eye. Just saying.” 

Arrivederci
We left twice – first time at 1:30 to visit Jacksons and Brooklyn, and then after at 03:00AM closing time. Another hour would have been great.

Recommendation
I definitely liked the atmosphere, and the crowd was really good here tonight. A great selection of music, but do keep in mind you will need to tolerate more of the Latin style rnb, which I am not too much of a fan of. With a relatively cheap cover charge, you should definitely check it out with friends at least once, so long as you can put up with a crowded small-medium dance area. Otherwise non dancing friends can just relax on the many seating arrangements on offer.

Sienna @ Establishment Hotel – 8.0/10