with a local

Saturdays @ Club 22, Papanui, Christchurch, New Zealand

Assessment Time: 11:00 PMish – 1:30AM
Opening Hours: 8:00PM – 2:00AM
Lockout: Unknown, but we were told at 1:30 we were not allowed back in if we left.
Address: 22 Harewood Road, Papanui, Christchurch, New Zealand
Venue Website: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Club-22/121971104547871 There are no other websites.
Promoter Website: Self Promoted
Occurrence: Every Saturday since the club opened in April 2011. Club 22 is also open on Thursdays, Fridays as well. 
Outside Line: I don’t recall any line there. We got in after showing our Australian Passports. Security were friendly enough to give us some flack for being Aussie
Dress Code / Door Policy: The dress code was promoted as casual. Pretty much anyone can get in wearing their pajamas if they wanted to. Most people dressed casually or dressed smart casual. There were a handful of guys who had top hats. Marty has my punk wig on and it seems to be accepted. After 5 minutes inside the club I got asked by a second security guard if I was allowed in with wearing of my pirate hat, and I said yes. I was pretty sure I was targeted for being too sexy. So the hat policy is questionable. 
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $5 for both men and women after 10 O’clock. Before 10PM it was free entry tonight. Not sure if this was a short promotion or a permanent entry fee thing. Regardless, as I have mentioned in another post, $5 is ridiculously cheap compared to $20/$25 in Sydney, but the locals still don’t like it, as every single other bar/pub/club in the area country is free entry. The club is still also haunted by the scandal of $22 entry fees for guys and free entry for girls when it first opened. 
Guestlist: Unsure, but very unlikely as entry is only $5. You can try club22club@gmail.com and ask if they have bookings, but what would be the point. 

Inside: Walk inside to enter the main open room. Bar right on the opposite end staffed by 2-3 personnel, and to the right along the wall is an elevated area for about 8-10 lounges. The ceiling is quite high and on the far right wall is a floor-ceiling dance pole. Smoking and seating area is behind here as well. There is little barrier between the smoking area and the immediate area inside the club, so you will get a whiff of the smoke if you hang around here. The main dancefloor is contained within a room to hold approximately 160-200 people. Entry is via two doors, one at the entry and one near the bar. Within the room there is a second bar attended by 2 staff members. Along one of the walls is a bench but it pretty much is used as a podium. DJ booth is on the opposite wall to the bar.
Cloak Room: Cloak service is available according to the website, but I couldn’t find a cloak area. It is probably done at the bar, but I can’t tell, as I didn’t use the services tonight.
Bar Prices / Line: I didn’t drink tonight, but I did have to line up for water. The wait at the main bar was quite long at about 10 minutes. Inside was the same story. It was just a matter of waiting it out. We were told by some of the regulars that if you knew some the bartenders then you could get lucky and get a bit of extra alcohol for your buck! Oh damn.
Bathroom Facilities: Appeared quite clean, I didn’t have to wait.
Eviction Count: There were a handful of evictions that I did see, in particular one of a guy who was just drunk, and standing against the wall with his beer in his hand. Security were quick to kick him out, even if he wasn’t causing trouble. Me and Marty had a bit of a dance outside the main room as well, in the general bar area – but we danced a bit too vigorously and were asked by security to basically slow down the pace of the dancing for the sake of other people. Haha to be asked to stop dancing in a club.. amazing, but I guess it had to be done for the sake of the general public who weren’t here to dance. Theres quite a heavy police present inside and outside the club – the club has been noted to attract a lot of drunk people who wander the streets, urinating on innocent residents property, as well as to start trouble.
DJs: Resident DJ Mike T all night. Hooray for no song repeats!
Music Style: This was a mix of house and rnb i believe. Unfortunately my camera ran out of juice so I couldn’t sample the music tonight. Later in the night it was mostly house a mix of commercial and unknown stuff. It kind of turned me off when I wasn’t familiar with the tunes, and I wasn’t going to hang around in the stuffy room.
Crowd: Mostly a younger crowd here teenagers, low 20′s kind of crowd. The majority, if not everyone, are locals here, not many backpackers / foreigners were here. This is truly also a mixed crowd – Indians, Africans, Kiwis, us Aussies, Asians, Wogs, whatever goes, goes.
Ratio: A tremendous sausage fest ratio early in the night, but it did get a little better as the night picked up. Initially the girls were in the dance room but nearing the end of the night they were more in the lounge area of the club.
Entertainment: Hired professional pole dancers go up and do a show for us, and the way they dance… Oh My Lord-Of-The-Rings, they are good at what they do. A must see.
Atmosphere: initially early on in the night there isn’t much going on. People are slowly tricking into the club, and it only starts to seriously pick up in the dance room at around midnight. The whole venue is indeed purpose built for a club-like atmosphere. The lounges are here, the strobes and flashy lights, loud soundsystem, no smoke machine though. In the main dance room, the ventilation is quite poor here, and combined with the bustling crowd it gets pretty hot, very quickly. Just standing around and slowly swaying left and right is enough to get you sweaty and uncomfortable when the place gets packed. People are generally quite friendly and here to dance and have a good time. Outside in the lounge its more chilled, people are generally chatting or just .. chilling out.

Timeline
Outfits
We still had out outfits from New Years Eve – Wheres Wally, Punk Wig, Captain Jack Sparrow. It was the last night so we might as well dress up for the fun of it, ahha. Martin dons the Pink punk wig and I go for Jack Sparrow, without make up. I really wish that they had a socially accepted man version of eye-liner, but unfortunately they do not have such items yet. Regardless, the sole purpose of the outfits was to rip it up the only way we know how and leave New Zealand, before New Zealand makes us leave. Needless to say hooray these simple little costumes work wonders, and we are the life of the party damnit! Not only that, we created the damn party since everyone else wasn’t dancing at all. 

A brief history of Club 22 (as summarised by the many people who shared their stories with me)
- Earthquake hits Christchurch. Nightlife is gone
- Club 22 opens, 22 being the location on the street as well as the coincidentally the date of the earthquake
- Initially $22 for guys and Free for girls. A few weeks later it was $5 even after government intervention. Patrons have never let this down and the stigma still lingers, that that this club is out to get your money.
- Lots of drunk people can be found outside
- Huge fight late 2011 resulted in an increased police presence for patron safety.
- This is still the only good club in Christchurch.
- Some of the people don’t like coming here, but have no other choice and come here anyway. Whether people love it or lump it, they won’t forget this club for sure.
- We arrived.

Once Upon a time in Christchurch
This entire trip, pretty much every club that was visited in New Zealand was all Caucasian with perhaps some Maori people. However tonight was the first time we saw A GROUP OF ASIANS. Not just one group, but MULTIPLE GROUPS OF ASIANS. It only took until the last day of our trip to find out that Asian people were also hiding in Christchurch! What amazement. Imagine not eating rice for 10 days, and then suddently you see rice. (Obviously this entire paragraph only makes sense if you are Asian. Otherwise replace the word “rice” with your ethnic food of choice, be it savlouki, kebabs, hot dogs, samosa, etc. ) You can’t help but say hello.

I had to talk to these rice people, so we did. Later we find out one of the girls is from Sydney, CABRAMATTA… of all places! Amazzzing! hahahahaha it was almost like we were having a conversation with a random girl at Verandah Bar or Martin Place Bar on an Asian clubbing night – because there was a bloody good chance she would be from Cabramatta or Bankstown. LOL Her guy friend wasn’t from Cabramatta, but judging by the way he was giving us dirties, he might as well have been! My lord of the rings, he wasn’t friendly at all, even though I tried my best. So after about 5 minutes of one-way dirties, I think we made the wise decision to mingle somewhere else, before we got glassed or something.

We also met a handful of Internationals here, and they are exactly the same as in Sydney: “No English” is the reply when you talk to them. Ah yes, the universal phrase of “go away” exists here too.

Arrivederci
Eventually the stuffiness of the room was too much to bear. The ratio also dropped considerably after 1AM, so it was just a matter of dancing and making the most of it. We gave up trying to keep dancing while sweating, and left at 1:30AM.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation
This was the only purpose club we could find here in Christchurch, so definitely come here for a dance. If you aren’t a fan of the occasional drunk person, stuffy rooms, or cover charge, an alternative venue is the Running Bull about 10 mins drive away, but not much else.

Despite all this, if you are able to take care of yourself and are with a group of friends who want a serious dance, then come here. I wouldn’t mind coming back here as I had a nice time, but only as there isn’t much else – do keep in mind the place doesn’t pick up until around 11:30ish, but the non-drunk crowd is quite friendly and ready to party in this somewhat city still trying to rebuild.

Rating : 6.5/10

[I was originally not planning to write a review and so no photos/videos were taken as I was pretty tipsy. I have no idea how I managed to get in. Then I just literally decided just now to write a review up at the end of the night, for record keeping sake... so it's just a quickie]

Quickie: Taboo @ Civic Hotel (Level 1 Rooftop), Sydney 
Assessment Time: ~1:30 – 4:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 4:00AM
Lockout: Unknown
Address: Level 1, 388 Pitt Street (Corner Goulburn Street), Sydney.
Venue Website: http://www.civichotel.com.au
Promoter Event Page: https://www.facebook.com/TabooSaturdays
Occurrence: Every Saturday night.
Outside Line: There was a line of about 12 guys and 1 girl upon entry. Keep in mind that this line is combined for both the Taboo event upstairs and “The Clinic” separate event happening downstairs. Took about 5 minutes before we got in.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty okay door policay. I had my mini afro-wig on. Most people wore smart casual. Girls wore dresses and looked their best here. hats are also allowed here. Saw some gentlemen with hats.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 is the full cover charge. Apparently guestlists were still valid at this time, but I wasn’t acknowledged as on being the guestlist. I be sad.
Guestlist: taboo.saturdays@gmail.com
Inside: Just the upper level of Civic Hotel is used on a regular night.
Cloak Room: None.
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight, I already had pre-Christmas party drinks. Drinking four nights in a row isn’t good for me at all.
Bathroom Facilities: Not utilised.
Eviction Count: None spotted.
DJs: Unknown
Music Style: Mostly RnB, Top 40.
Crowd: Pretty much all Asian here, with less than a handful of Caucasians here. Ages ranged from 18 year olds to 30+ year olds I met. You can’t tell what is what anymore when you look at the Asian genes of youth.

Ratio: Ratio was expected to be more guys than girls at this time, seeing that most of the girls would have gone home by now. It was approximately 70:30. I’m sure the ratio was better earlier in the night.
Entertainment: An MC was here. Photographer.
Atmosphere: It was a good turnout for this small venue. The floor wasn’t too packed, but may have been even worse earlier. However half the lounges were not populated with people. You could get a seat anytime. Most people who are dancing are right close up to the DJ in the corner, while everyone else be chilling or standing around not doing much at all. At least 100 or so people were here.

Timeline
I was pretty tipsy from the Christmas party beforehand and pretty much chatting to every girl I could see. Grinded a few, what’s new. Then i ran out of girls and started talking to all the guys. For the final 30 minutes, all the dancing girls had left, and me and some guy friends were just grinding each other instead.

I met a reader as well as part of my world talking tour. Fun times. Had a bit of a dance too.

Met some friends as well, it was quite the night actually. Going out is always more fun when you have friends around you. Always have friends guys, always have them.

Hmm… that’s about it. OK, there’s more, but I shouldn’t write about it here.

Arrivederci 

Left at closing time.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation

I can’t really say much, except that it’s quite a small dancing space, while more than 75% of the space is lounges or chill out areas. It’s good music though. Some girls were a bit cold though. Place could deal with more people/girls.

Too inebriated to give a rating.

Promo poster

Ground Level Arq Sydney

Twinkland @ Arq Sydney
Assessment Time: 4:25AM – 6:55AM
Opening Hours: 9PM – Late (apparently until midday next day?)
Lockout: None so far as I am aware of.
Address: 16 Flinders St, Taylor Square (off Oxford St)
Venue Website: http://www.arqsydney.com.au
Promoter Website: Appears to be self promoted by the venue .
Occurrence: Most Fridays. Exceptions are special events such as Fomo, the massive Foam Party regularly held here.
Outside Line: There were just 2 people in front of us when we approached. We quickly got in without any trouble, though the security was pretty strict on not letting drunk people inside. He just stares at you while he asks the standard sobrierity question “How are you tonight?”. Bloody scary.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes here. Most of the guys dancing have taken off their shirts to set the standard – don’t expect any less in a gay club.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night. Free entry policy was introduced in May earlier in 2011.
Guestlist: N/A
Inside: Arq is comprised of two levels. Ground level and Underground. (1) Ground Level: Walk through revolving doors to enter the one large floor shaped in a diamond. On the right is the bar, while in front of you is all dancefloor, with podiums in the middle and back. The entire floorspace looks like it could hold 250 people easily. Through the back door you can walk downstairs to the smoking area. Down another flight of stairs and enter (2) Underground Level, where a similar layout exists to the top room, except the bar is on the left rather than the right. It is a little bit smaller than upstairs in terms of floor space as well. There are pool tables in the corner to keep you entertained, and some lounges at the back, probably for making out.
Cloak Room: On the right, straight after you get past security. $3 each item to be stored.
Bar Prices / Line: I forget.
Bathroom Facilities: Not utilised
Eviction Count: None seen.
DJs: Scott Tanner, Kitty Glitter
Music Style: Described by most people as progressive Trance/House, with some pop, I would agree.
Crowd: Dominantly male gay crowd tonight. Ages varied from young to older guys I met, who were probably in their 40′s. Wide variety of backgrounds as well, but most of the crowd appeared to be local Sydneysiders here.
Ratio: I’d say 95% guys, but I have no idea on the gay:straight ratio. There were definitely other straight guys here I suspect.
Entertainment: Shows from Summer Salt, Millie Poppins, Ripley Waters (aka The Glamazons). MC Benita to keep things going (I didn’t see the MC tonight at this time)
Atmosphere: Pretty much up until 4:45, everybody was on the ground level. I mean, ground was more superior than underground in terms of strobe and laser lighting I guess. Then once ground level had closed, everybody moved underground, or went home. I don’t know why they just kept ground level open – it might have been for noise reasons but who knows. Throughout the entire night there were sufficient numbers of people to keep this place busy. Quite surprised at how many guys were still up and about bouncing around the place. Both rooms were pretty dark, with lots of smoke machines, so you do get that dirty club feel for sure. It did get eventually stuffy after a while though. People are also quite friendly here, well the guys are anyway.
Video: Tour and music sample

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Feeling quite buggered
I’ve been dancing for quite a while now, and I regret not having a nap before coming out to attempt this 24 hour marathon, because I am just super freaking tired. We played a game of pool here but that didn’t help at all. I was still getting really tired. I must.. keep.. dancing!

Gay clubs – Not so scary anymore for me
The guys here are quite friendly and will talk to you, or you can talk to them. They love to give everyone a wet kiss on the ear/cheek so dont be surprised when it happens to you for the first time. I think if it was my first time at a gay club I would be freaking out, but tonight I was pretty relaxed about being here. It might have been just this particular club as it’s not as bright or smelly/dingy as other ones I’ve been to. I think the main reason I avoid gay clubs now is that there are no girls in them, rather than because there are gay guys there. 

Don’t play pokies
Killing time in the Pokies room I decided to put $2 and try my luck. The machine took my $2 but didn’t register the credits! Fucking bullshit. I hate technology so much.

Arrivederci
All I could do was yawn for the last 30 minutes. As I type this up, I am actually yawning. That’s pretty bad that you have to yawn, when you think about yourself yawning in the past. I had already been awake 20 hours, and I dont think I could do another 17 hours (I still had the 11 hour Stereosonic Festival in a few hours time), especially after all the drinking tonight. Marty and our female accomplice had pretty much given up a long time ago as well, so it was time to leave and to try the 24 hour party attempt some other time.

So we all left for some breakfast before going home. Next attempt, it will probably be done on a Saturday night, without any drinking, and with plenty of rest beforehand.

Final Thoughts & Recommendation

Arq is a pretty good club in its own right, and definitely one of the best gay clubs out there considering how it can still hold a crowd after 4AM. For free entry on Fridays its defintely worth checking out. I love progressive trance so it was a bonus too. Friendly crowd too. Though if you are not used to the gay scene, then I’ll leave that upto you to whether or not you choose to come here for some dirty late night dancing.

Score – 8.0/10

I had to take a photo with a podium dancer

RnB Superclub (Sydney) @ Arthouse Hotel
Assessment Time: 11:15PM – 2:45AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 3:00AM
Lockout: Unknown, but definitely after 2:30 is a lockout
Address: 275 Pitt St, Sydney (At TGV, Town Hall)
Venue Website: http://www.thearthousehotel.com.au
Promoter Website: http://www.rnbsuperclub.com / Facebook Page 
Occurrence: Every Friday at the Arthouse Hotel since July 2011. Previously it ran at Tank Nightclub for a few years before the venue closed as a nightclub.
Outside Line: Actually arrived at 11PM but we loitered around the area to wait for other friends – during this time, the line was initially empty and eventually progressed to about 20 people deep when we joined the queue at 11:15PM
Dress Code / Door Policy: Code is smart casual and mostly people wore this. Guys had collared shirts as well as short-sleeve collared t-shirts. Girls could wear anything but most, if not all, opted to wear dresses
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20 for 2 before 11.30pm provided that you printed out the voucher obtained from the website. $20 was the normal entry fee charge. This is quite a generous offer especially if you use the voucher.
Guestlist: Contact details unknown, but they are available from the website.

Main Room - 1:30AM

Inside: Walk inside via Pitt St and enter the small atrium. From hence you may enter the room on the right or left. Right through the middle is a long hallway to the other side of the venue, where you can smoke outdoors. The right room during the day is a cocktail lounge – reflected in its lounges attached to the walls throughout, and minimal stools. A small DJ is setup on a table right next to the bar in the far left corner. There’s dance room for about 30-40 people comfortably. In the left room, this is where the main action is – We enter the “back” of the room and around are also lounges but it is more or less tables and stools dotted throughout about 2/3rds of the area. The last 1/3rd at the front has been cleared for primary dancing. You could fit about 80 people in this 1/3rd if you tried. The DJ podium sits elevated, flanked both sides by elevated podiums strictly reserved for the podium dancer girls. A bar also sits here along the Northern wall.
Cloak Room: $3 per item of clothing. Thank god these cheap prices still exist! (Typical Asian-oriented clubs charge $5 per item of clothing, and $10 per bag)
Bar Prices / Line: $8.50 AUD for a cowboy shot
Eviction Count: None spotted
Music Style: Two rooms tonight – Main room was commercial modern RnB with some house mashup songs near the end. Some of the song choices were a bit ‘slow’ in terms of getting the crowd vibing though. The other room was best described as “Slow Jams” – old school classic rnb from the 1990′s and early 2000′s
Crowd: I would say the slight majority of people are of Caucasian background. The rest of the crowd are Asians, Indians. Mostly local people here and the odd backpacker, but they are hard spotted. Ages ranged from early 20′s to 30′s. Most of the 30′s crowd were in the smaller room, considering the slower type of music being played. Quality for both sexes was generally okay tonight. People did keep to themselves, but mingling was better done outside at the back.
Ratio: Most of the night there were a majority of guys.
Entertainment: Podium dancers at the front to dazzle the eyes of men in the club. Also there was an MC to keep things alive and running smoothly
Atmosphere: It wasn’t as busy as I thought it would be, considering the amount of mainstream advertising the event is exposed to. Regardless it was still busy upon entry – it held well until about 1:30AM when it suddenly died on its arse – at least half of the crowd had gone home – this is typical for many clubs anyway – many leave at 1AM and the true party people stay behind – tonight there was a lack of these party people. The second room was definitely dead though no excuse – with only about 10-20 or so people at any one time in there.
Video: 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Wow.. straight up recognition!! And what a coincidence as well that the girls we have chosen to hit on already know about me. There was only one thing to do – Capitalise!! So after a while… (not going to bore you with details) – I got into a threesome !! hahaha.. ok not really. When friend found out who I was, she bowed down to me (after I politely asked her to of course). Bam – night complete lol.

Arrivederci – An early death 
Most of the night was with company of friends dancing and drinking (Yes, I actually did drink tonight!) and what not.

As mentioned above, the club started to die down after 1AM, and was on life support by about 2:15AM with only us, and another group of people left. I think it was time to go.

Recommendation
It was a pretty tame night in terms of overall atmosphere. all the ingredients are here – music, dancers, location and very generous 2 for 1 entry offer – except its not as busy as it should be – It’s still early days at the new venue – let’s hope it picks up. For now I wouldn’t go here on my own, but you can definitely enjoy no lines at the bar and good music if you somehow ended up here one night.

Upstairs 2AM general dancefloor shot

Click here to view the embedded video.

My shirt is ripped

Underground Level: Dancefloor

This event had all the hype, and it pretty much drove my curiosity insane! Take my money you sneaky little promoters, its time to visit this event – here we go!

Volar @ Civic Hotel (All 3 levels)
Assessment Time:12:35AM – 03:30AM
Opening Hours: Unknown the exact time of opening for the club levels – probably 10:30PM. The club levels close at 04:00AM
Lockout: Unknown, but throughout the night it seemed to be okay to slip in and out of the venue, so long as there isn’t any trouble going on.
Address: 388 Pitt St (It is on the corner of Pitt St and Goulburn St between World Square and Mr B’s Hotel)
Venue Website: http://www.civichotel.com.au
Promoter Website:Primary Promoter: http://www.urbanagent.com.au alongside with ESO.net.au, 1nitestand.com.au , viplist.com.au, Z3nent.com, EpikEntertainment.com.au, G6
Occurrence: Every Friday since March 2011. (Tonight was the third week open)
Outside Line: The line was pretty short when I arrived (I did arrive a bit late), but earlier it was reported to be much longer.. to at least 50 deep. I waited about 5 minutes or so to get in.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Smart Casual is recommended, but it does appear that pretty much most attire is accepted tonight. A hat was spotted worn inside the club, so I assume hats are okay. I wore a black t-shirt, jeans and clean white sneakers and got in without a problem.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 is the full charge tonight….$20 on the guestlist. Guestlists closed at midnight.
Guestlist: Email volar@urbanagent.com.au or submit via the website. The guestlist submitted was not recognized at the door when my friend Marty came up, which was unfortunate. Alternate addresses are volar@z3nent.com and volar@epikentertainment.com.au
Inside: It’s promoted as three levels of clubbing. Upper/Rooftop level, ground level, and Underground.
Inside Upper Level: Otherwise known as the Rooftop level, walk into enter an area with a bar to your left and lounges to your right. The bar has three sides to it, to line up maybe 15 people comfortably. A narrowish path leads you to the other side of the room, where the open space serves as the dancefloor. In the corner is the DJ area and 2-tiered podium for dancing. The podium holds about 10 people. The immediate clear area for dancing holds about 40-50 people, while people can still dance a bit further back near the entrance or on the other end near the VIP area. Tonight the VIP area was roped off. On the diagonally opposite corner of the room is the smoking area, where people sit around on marble/wooden seating arrangements and smoke and talk. The area is ‘roped’ off by a thin stream of water, similar to the Cool Zones at Town Hall station during afternoon peak hour.
Inside Ground Level: Enter the ground level from Pitt St and be presented with a bar to your left spanning half of the floor. Roughly the same size as the Rooftop level bar. DJ area in the corner with a small dancefloor for 20 or 30 people. Stools and lounges dot the walls. No podiums and minimal lighting exists here, but there is a disco ball.
Inside Underground Level: It kind of feels like you are walking to the bathroom going down the stairs. Then you realise, that there are actually toilets here. However, there is also an entrance to the Underground room. Walk in here to be faced immediately with the side of the bar, about the same or smaller size than the other two bars above. On the right are saloon like seating arrangements on the wall, with a mirror running along around shoulder height on the side. On the far left corner is the dance area. It is actually a sunken squareish area about 50cm below the floor level here. The area holds 50 comfortably upto 80-100 squishily in my estimation. Rails border the sunken dancefloor so that observers can watch on by. Right in front of the dancefloor is the stage area at floor height. The stage could hold 20-40 people. This room also holds one of the most well recommended sound systems in the Sydney club scene.
Cloak Room: Located in the Underground level room. Pricing is unknown. Marty got inside at midnight and discovered that the cloak room in the Underground level was at capacity! That’s crazy! It’s not a very big cloak room though. It would be hard enough to cater for one full level full of people, let alone 2 full levels of people. Keep this in mind and put stuff in the cloak room ASAP for this event.
Bar Prices / Line: Upstairs is a nightmare to get drinks. Just like the Taboo event on Saturdays here, you still have to wait at least 20-30 minutes to get served, if you don’t push in. Ground level, there generally isn’t a line or a very sparsely populated line – the sole bartender here was a testament to that. In the Underground level, the line wasn’t as bad as rooftop – the line was 2-3 people deep with about a 10-15 minute wait during peak times. Pricing unknown – I didn’t drink tonight.
Music Style: The poster at the time was that the Upper level was dedicated to RnB, which was true. The poster mentioned the bottom underground level was dedicated to House music. This was kind of true. Some house was played, but easily the majority of music played was that of RnB/House mashup. The promoters had to cater for the crowd here tonight. Every time a house song came up (even if it was commercial house) which did not even have a hint of RnB in it, the dancefloor would pretty much clear out, and people would head upstairs to the other room. It’s quite the sad story for the Asian House music lovers. Then, when an RnB song or a pop song came on.. the TB’s would come RUNNING back to the floor to have their little dance. The music sounded pretty freaking awesome though with the sound system. very crisp even though it was pretty loud. I guess i didn’t appreciate it as much last time I was here due to me not appreciating the type of music they were playing that night. The Ground level was a designated ‘chillout’ area by the promoters, but there is some Retro music playing here with matching dancefloor. Typical Retro from the 70s and 80s would be played here, from my time in this floor.
Crowd & Ratio: (Upstairs and undergound levels) The majority .. maybe 85% were of Asian descent. It would be a mix of Asian Australian and Overseas based Asians. The rest of the populace consisted of Caucasians, some Europeans/Middle Easterns and Indians. Upper level had the distinct advantage/disadvantage to have a prominently more dominant male crowd, for whatever reason I dont know why – maybe they didn’t like the house/rnb mashup music in the underground. Either way, I personally didn’t stay up here too long. The Underground level also had heaps of guys at peak, but as the night went on.. the ratio started to become more balanced – Quality was good on both sexes, so nothing to complain about here. Ground level, it was pretty much mostly Caucasians of mixed ages, who were appreciating the music.. and the odd handful of Asian folk who came here for a bit of a rest. Nothing special here. Overall, I am guessing tonight is a mix of young crowd and old… I would hazard to say there weren’t too many TB’s to be honest, but the crowd in general is young. 
Entertainment: MC’s on upper and underground levels. A bottle water dump competition (aka cleverly disguised wet t-shirt contest) was on the cards followed by a booty shake competition. Oh wait, what’s that you hear? Oh yes, its me dropping the V-BOMB – The VIDEO BOMB of BOTH competitions for your viewing! Booyah!! Go on and watch it… you perverted scumbags

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline

For you, it really is just two levels of clubbing, not three.
While the Upper and Lower levels have proper DJs and a bustling crowd and crew of promoters making sure everything is okay, the Ground level, counted as part of the “three” levels of clubbing in promotional flyers, isn’t really a destination for the Volar Asian crowd. This is probably because The DJ is playing some mightily retro tunes, with matching older Caucasian crowd dancing along. You wouldn’t feel this is your type of music at all.

The ground level is actually open to the public, so anybody can come in here. All 10 patrons on this level seemingly are having a good time, but it was quite dead here otherwise – the Upper and Lower floors require a stamp to gain entry. So remember, ground level is just the chillout area, but isn’t as exciting as it is promoted to be. Anyone remember the “four massive arenas” of Brooklyn Hotel?

Anyway, looking at the latest promotional poster, it has evolved to 5 rooms over 3 levels, and the music styles have switched rooms which probably means they are still tinkering with the formula or wording, and arrangement of DJs over the three levels.

Aggressive mailing list building
“can you please add your name to the list?” she asks. You know.. the pretty girl standing outside in the freezing cold getting paid to collect email addresses.

I kindly told her I was already on the mailing list, but she didn’t take that as an answer.

“NO. Put your details down anyway. We need it.”

No way you don’t. She really looked like she didn’t like her job or probably was sick of guys cracking onto her. Maybe she’d rather spend time snuggling with the boyfriend. Who knows. Why do you want my email twice! You guys already have my details! She wasn’t being understanding at all about it. Maybe she got a sick satisfaction of seeing people sign up twice to the mailing list.

Fake details were given.

Tried and never true
I saw some girls and well.. I used the old classic
“Are you guys _____?” line. I know, I know.. how sad. In this case, I actually thought they were Korean. 
“No, we’re Chinese”
FML.

It’s another bum dancer
Surprised not to see Jason the Korean bum dancer tonight. However there is another Asian guy here dancing very feministically. I dont know his name but he was very sweaty and pretty much up on the front stage the entire night pulling out his moves. Entertaining but he doesn’t pull it off as well as Jason – it kinda comes off as wierd. Well, he was happy to take a photo though!

Jason II and Marty

Sitting down is great for meeting girls.. not
I sat down.. and you know.. a girl who gets tired of dancing sits next to me. It’s kind of strange hey. Talk.. talk.. talk.. and the next thing you know.. she was very keen on leaving with me. So we begin to leave.. and then suddenly her guy friends stop her. Where on earth did they come from? Apparently they were watching me the whole time! My goodness. As they scold her, I made myself disappear very quickly. Another potential lifelong romance gone.

The girls point of view
So I had some girls tonight with me.. and i was upstairs, where all the guys are. The guys are pretty respectful thoughout, letting us have our own space. But I have to run downstairs. I left for about 15 minutes. Came back and the girls have reported that pretty much at least 5 guys have cracked onto them. I think they were being ‘wingmanned’ but failing repeatedly as so happens so often in Asian clubs. I think the word to describe them was “vultures”.

 Arrivederci
And so finally at around 3:30AM, we left, after some mental dancing and what not.

Recommendation
The girls I were with didn’t enjoy upstairs, and didn’t spend any time downstairs, as it was too packed. I agree.

As it got later in the night, I did enjoy it more as there was more space to move around and dance yet still plenty of people around. It just wasn’t possible to do anything earlier in the night as it was so packed.

So be prepared for the adventure that is being a sardine for an hour or so, before you have a bit more room to wiggle around and mingle.

Volar @ Civic Hotel: Rooftop Level – 4/10 - Sausage much?
Volar @ Civic Hotel: Underground Level – 7/10 - only as I love the sound quality here, and I am a fan of my house / house-rnb mashups that were being played here. No hardstyle, thank god. Also met a few nice people here.

Gallery

Crowd shot of the dancefloor area - 12:00AM

Sweet Taboo Saturdays @ Civic Hotel (Rooftop Level 1)
Assessment Time: Midnight – 03:40AM
Opening Hours: 10:00PM(?) – 04:00AM
Lockout: I think no more new guests were allowed after 03:00AM
Address: Level 1, 388 Pitt St (Corner of Goulburn St Opposite World Square / Tao Lounge). Don’t go downstairs, as a separate dance event is held here on Saturdays.
Venue Website: http://www.civichotel.com.au
Promoter Website: http://www.syndicateevents.com.au/
Occurrence: Every Saturday since late 2010.
Outside Line: There was no line outside where security was, nor there was a line at the cashier as we walked upstairs.
Dress Code / Door Policy: At least Smart Casual is recommended – Collared shirt and nice shoes. You may risk non-entry with dirty shoes. However inside, I did notice guys with normal t-shirts on and sneakers (non-dirty). Most guys wore collared shirts. Hats are allowed as well. Girls that were let in tonight were mostly well dressed up and looking pretty good.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free before 10:30PM if on the guestlist. $20 between 10:30PM and midnight if on the guestlist. All other conditions is $25 full price
Guestlist: taboo.saturdays@gmail.com
Inside: Walk upstairs and give out your hard earned cash. Walk into the door on your left into the front of the venue. The whole place is of two distinct parts. You are in the combined dancefloor/bar area to hold 100 or so people. There are facing lounges to your right which are used for birthdays. DJ in the corner of the room with a 2-step poodium in front. In the back half of the club space are two rooms. One taped off ‘VIP’ area for larger private functions (later opened to all) and a smoking/chillout courtyard. It doesn’t feel like a courtyard as you enter, as it is partially enclosed. Walking in and out of this area you are sprayed with a very fine mist of water to cool you down. The courtyard area is all benches and holds probably 40-50 people.
Cloak Room: None. This is surprising.
Bar Prices / Line: The ‘theme’ of tonight was the promotion of Agwa Bombs for $10. A mix of new drink Agwa and whatever the chosen mix is. I am not sure if anyone tried it out. I didn’t drink tonight, but I did line up with M for when he ordered some drinks. The line was 2 or 3 people deep, but it appeared the bar was understaffed, as it took at least 20 minutes according to my watch before being able to place the order with the bar staff. This is an exceptionally a long time – almost if not worse than Bamboo.
DJs: Rotation of Dj’s tonight. See poster in gallery below for details.
Music Style: Contemporary Modern American RnB with Hip Hop and House mashups. After 3:00AM is old school Rnb. Expect to hear from the likes of Taio Cruz, DJ Unk, Nicky Minaj and Afrojack. Watch the music sample below for more. Yes, some songs were repeated tonight! Yuck.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ran back and the handbag is re-hidden under a sofa. A few songs later, she went to check up on the bag, and it DISAPPEARED. Bar staff and security didn’t have it.. it was stolen! A cloak room would have solved these problems, but not to be. Keeping the bag on you could have solved these problems, but who goes to a nightclub to dance with their handbag? The rest of her night was understandably ruined. To think some people have the audacity to go to a nightclub just to steal things. Total bullshit! That’s two times I’ve had female friends have their things stolen in 3 months. So women .. beware your precious goods!! There are always thieves about – even in nightclubs. Fucking Assholes.

Slippery when dancing
The floor is wooden floorboards. Whenever someone from the podium jumped off, they would either slip and fall or almost lose their balance. I saw at least 4 people fall down onto the floor. Who knows how many others have gone home with minor bruises on their bodies. This dancefloor is bloody dangerous.

Dance-off!
I sit on the mini-podium and a song comes up. I rise and dance away! Then suddenly, 2 girls who are next to us suddenly pull out their amazing dance moves. OMG I felt so miniscule. I couldn’t keep pace so M stepped in to pull off his dance routine. I followed up with my ever trustworthy booty grind (you thought I was going to do the star jumps didn’t you, dear regular reader) which earned me some reverse grinding action. Kind of unexpected. My girl was pretty touchy. She asks if I know Salsa. I kind of know Salsa. “Let me show you salsa!” she says, and runs into some kind of seductive salsa dance, *leading me*. This wasn’t right. Men are meant to lead in Salsa! I pull out my basic Salsa moves and it is barely enough to be okay. She has a fiancée nearby, so this was really just a dance off.

Turned out they were professional dancers from interstate >.< !! I need dance lessons again.

Arrivederci
Left when there was pretty much 10 guys left and 1 girl. Friends handbag didn’t show up nor was it found misplaced anywhere.

Recommendation
The music is good, but can repeat later in the night. The actual floor space for dancing is ok for its size. The atmosphere was pretty good here and the crowd stuck throughout at 3AM. The $25 entry still hurts though. Ratio is surprisingly excellent, but shame about the no cloak room area as my friends’ night was ruined – hopefully in future events a cloak room will be setup for patrons. A higher rating would have been given if it weren’t for this.

Sweet Taboo Saturdays @ Civic Hotel (Level 1 Rooftop): 6.5/10

Thursdays @ Albion Hotel Parramatta, Sydney
Assessment Time: 11:45PM – 12:45PM
Address: 135 George St, Parramatta
Venue Website: http://www.albionhotel.com.au
Promoter Website: Self Promoted
Occurrence: Every Thursday
Outside Line: Very short outside, did not take long to get in. You could also freely enter via the beer garden entrance tonight. Normal weekend nights you would only be allowed initial entry via the outside carpark entrance.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual is ok tonight. Tonight was a mix of casual and smart casual.. a lot of the guys just came up with their casual shirts and girls wearing casual one pieces.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: None
Inside: Enter via the carpark into the ‘gasworks’ nightclub room, a square-ish floor to hold 200-300 people. Stage area where bands would play during other events is converted to a dance area as well with the installation of 2 dancing poles. DJ area is up in the middle here as well. Bar on the opposite side of the room. Head outside to the beer garden about twice the size of the nightclub area, with an extra bar outside and inside the gambling area.
Cloak Room: None
Bar Prices / Line: Didn’t drink tonight. The line wasn’t that long. A probable 4-8 minute wait.
DJs: (From the website) DJ Tiklez, Anthum, G-Wizard, Tommy Funk
Music Style: Everything is covered here. Modern and retro pop, contemporary rnb, with some house tracks as well. Mostly tunes people could dance to. On the website it is listed as RnB, 80′s Funk, NRG.
Crowd & Ratio: Mostly local people from around the area – Dominantly Anglo-Saxon, mostly from a European background with the rest being Aussie. There are also Middle Eastern and Indians here. Hard pressed to find an Asian here. It was also a noticeably large proportion of men to women. About 7 to 1 on initial count. A guy told us how shit he thought tonight was. I looked around, and there were people everywhere. It was just the dominance of guys that we was probably referring to. Ages varied from teenagers to people in their 30′s.
Entertainment: No extras.
Atmosphere: Pretty dark inside here, so it does feel more of a nightclub, especially at the front. Near the back it feels more like a bar as people aren’t dancing so much up the back. Most groups of people kept to themselves here. There was this one drunk kiwi or samoan looking guy dancing, and yelling with everyone. You can tell he is drunk as he has a beer in his hand.
Video: 2x 360 views. One from the back and one from the front

Click here to view the embedded video.

Verdict (Assessment time: 1:30AM)
It was worse than it was before. Only the main room has a DJ, while the back courtyard area is pure chillout with no house DJ as it used to be. The Islanders make the majority of the crowd here, which was pretty much the same before the 40/40 cover charge period.

The place was pretty sparse as well – no more than 20 on the dancefloor tonight at this time.

Really dodgy walkthrough Video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci
Left after about 10 minutes here.

Recommendation
It’s free entry so why not check it out while going by? I wouldn’t spend a night here though.. yet.

Timeline
How my genes almost got me into a fight
Standing there in my tux and sunnies. A man approaches me:
Man: “I like your glasses”
James: “Thanks!”
Man: “What’s your background? I’m from Beirut”
James: “I’m Vietnamese/Chinese”
Man: “Nah, You’re Korean, right?”
James: “Nah, I’m not”
Man: “Nah, you’re definitely Korean. I have been to Korea.”
James: “haha. Nah, I am Vietnamese”
Man: “Nah, you’re Korean! ” 어떻게 지내? ”
James: “Huh?? No, I’m not Korean”
Man: “Don’t lie to me. YOU ARE KOREAN”
James: “No, I’m not Korean” 
Man: “Don’t sh*t me. I know a Korean when I see one. I’m not stupid! ”어떻게 지내?!!!!!!!!”
James: “What? No, not Korean. You’re wrong.”
Man: “You say you are not Korean. You think I am stupid?? YOU THINK I AM STUPID?!? Just stay away from me, Korean! I don’t want to talk to you. I’m not stupid! F*ck off!!”

Wow…………. ! This guy is big time serious hellbent on proving to me that I am Korean. Are you kidding me? This guy has LIVED IN KOREA for crying out loud! Not once in my entire recollection of playing the “guess what nationality I am” game has anybody ever guessed that I was Korean… KOREAN. Seriously. It’s a well known stereotype that Koreans have narrower eyes than other Asian nationalities. I have pretty round eyes for an Asian.  I felt like Iraq, the innocent country with no weapons of mass destruction, before I got invaded by G. W. Bush. Luckily tonight there was no invasion, and I just walked away.

The Proof
Well, I am here to prove to you that I don’t even look REMOTELY KOREAN! So I Google Image searched for “Sexy Korean Guy” and found this picture of a Sexy Korean Guy.

Now here is a picture of me in a dark club setting recently at Haymarket Hotel with a blog reader, who is actually Korean. Compare me to aforementioned Sexy Korean Guy.

At Haymarket Hotel a few weeks ago with blog reader Kevin

Do you see any similarities? DO YOU?? I don’t either! Me and Sexy Korean Guys do not look the same at all. Therefore it is plain to see that I am not a Sexy Korean Guy. Most important is that I am not Korean bit. I have no shred of Korean in me. I despise Korean BBQ. I hate Soju on its own and rely on drinking it diluted with lemonade. I love Bimbibap though. That’s besides the point – I am simply not Korean. So to the blind wanker from Lebanon who thinks I am Korean, I would forgive you if you had never been to Korea, but you actually HAVE been to Korea, and you can actually speak Korean! You, sir, are a douchebag.

People like our dancing
We dance, and there are flashes around. I point my camera and spot an Asian couple sitting down, taking photos of us dancing. They think we are awesome, and I drag them up to dance. They’re here for a birthday. Fun times and we dance with their rowdy group. Their men hit on our girls, while we have nobody to hit on in return. Now that’s not really fair.

In the second half of the night as we dance like aborigines, another couple take photos of us. They love our dancing, but are unwilling to dance with us. They are happy to take photos and then upload it to facebook the next day instead. Nooo worries.

Keep your friends close..
Me and the girl are dancing hands held. Suddenly out of nowhere, a guy jumps in, holds my hand and holds the girls hand. It’s now three of us dancing, and I’m holding a guys hand. Awkward. I looked up to see who it was – you would not believe who was holding my hand – It’s the man from Beirut again! All joking aside, this was no joke. I am currently holding the hand of someone who almost got into a fight with me. This was now really freaking awkward. Like when a mother walks in on you masturbating, but worse.

I thought this guy told me to ‘f*ck off’ earlier? His intentions are revealed when he started Korean to the girl. This Korean thing must be his pick up line. Well, actually, the girl was Korean (LOL) so they had a little chit chat and then to make things worse, another drunk dude from another group joined in, and held my other hand. YES, another dude, caught up in my awesomeness, decided to hold my hand. I was now holding hands with two grown men. I could feel the fun being sapped out of me. It’s such a strange feeling and I felt really embarrassed. Please get me out of here’. Finally the song ended and I dragged the girl away to another spot at the bar. Totally over it.

Arrivederci
Left at closing time. The outside closed about an hour-30 minutes before close, before lights are slowly dimmed back up until 4:00AM

Recommendation
A nice place to have drinks by the harbour and for a dance. A general safe bet for a mixed group of people who aren’t into too much of the clubbing scene, but also want a place to drink and socialise amongst somewhat friendly company.

Saturdays @ Cargo Bar – 6.0/10

Crowd shot of the main room at Arthouse - 11:50PM

Studio / Black & White Party @ Arthouse Hotel Sydney
Assessment Time: 11:45PM – 02:45AM
Opening Hours: 10:00PM ~ 03:00AM
Lockout: Unknown
Address: 275 Pitt St, Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.thearthousehotel.com.au
Promoter Websites: http://www.socialrice.com.au, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sydney-Australia/IMPORT-MEDIA/90727863220 , http://www.facebook.com/pages/VISIONSHOCK-Entertainment/130776623623024
Occurrence: Appears to be a once off event, as two of the promoters were not promoting this event on their facebook pages.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Smart Casual was recommended, and it appeared pretty much everyone followed this. Collared shirts, nice shoes for the guys, and dresses for the girls. The theme for tonight was black and white.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free before 10:30PM on the guestlist, and before midnight $20. Outside of these parameters, do expect to pay $25
Guestlist: My name was on the Social Rice guestlist, but poster advocated sending lists to richard (at) importmedia.com
Inside: Walk inside. To the right is the cocktail room converted to the photography ‘Studio’ for tonight. In front is the main Arthouse room. Inside the main room, there is a bar to the right, and an open floorboard/dance area spanning the length of the room, to hold about 200 or so people. Stools and lounges spot the walls. DJ booth right at the rear end along with the primary focus of the dancing crowd. Further walk to the rear to the smoking area for 100 or so people.
Cloak Room: I couldn’t find any cloak room services here. The main room was pretty dark, so you could probably just leave your stuff around, though last time at Arthouse I did find a lost jacket.
Bar Prices / Line: $8.20 for a Tequila Sunrise
DJs: Eko, Cass, D-Seev, Gizmo, Flipz. MC Elevate on Mic duties.
Music Style: Primarily contemporary RnB and Hip Hop. Occasional house mashups as well. I did note the DJ’s near the end of the night had an amazingly bad mixing moment. He just cut off the song right into the next song without transition. Probably it happens all the time but it was the first time I noticed myself dancing for a bit and then suddenly stop and lose all rhythm, and thought to myself “wow that was a total mood killer”. Otherwise music was pretty danceable to – I wasn’t paying much attention as I caught up with friends.
Crowd: Pretty much entirely asian. A handful of lost caucasians in the mix. Mostly in their 20′s
Entertainment: The primary addition for tonight’s clubbing event was the Photography Studio. You were able to walk in, grab yourself some canapes if you chose to do so, and take a photograph under the two umbrella lights with some professional photographers, all for free. Pretty snazzy.
Atmosphere: The dancefloor area directly in front of the DJ was pretty busy. The dancefloor alongside the bar is moderately busy, and the space between the bar and the front entrance is pretty much dead. (The space would have held an extra 40 or so people). At around 2AM the place was starting to die out and by 2:30 it was pretty much only the dance-a-holics left.
Video: Walkthrough Main Room then Studio

Click here to view the embedded video.

Friends are gone, good behaviour be gone!
Friends all left pretty much around 2AM, and so did the majority of the club. It’s about 2:15AM now, and plenty of room to dance around. There were about 20 or so people left in here. Danced heaps, danced a crapload. Found a girl, and talked to her. Instead of replying, she just smiles. How sweet, but I do prefer conversation. anyway, we ended up making out, but after a few minutes, her friend takes her away to the land of Turning Japanese. Damn. Well after that, it was primarily all dudes hanging around. Fun times. (The irony of my friends reading this post is not unfounded on me)

Arrivederci
I pretty much did a very epic solo house dance and M joined me. the small crowd of 5 or 6 people directly nearby were entertained and got their moneys worth. Then we left.

Recommendation
Again, it seems to be a once off event so I can’t really tell you to not come back here. LOL. Nah it was alright but it wasn’t worth $25. Probably $20 at max. Friends whom were causal clubbers mostly enjoyed the night. The place could have done with more people though. Hard to judge as I wasn’t in the main room half the time.

Until next time.

Candys Apartment - Best photo I could get of the main dancefloor

Saturdays “Shake Shake Shake” @ Candys Apartment (Potts Point, Kings Cross, Sydney)

Assessment Time: 01:30AM – 03:50AM
Opening Hours: Early – 5:00 or 6:00AM
Lockout: No lockout
Address: 22 Bayswater Road, Potts Point (Kings Cross) Sydney
Venue Website: http://www.candys.com.au
Promoter Website: Self Promoted
occurence: Open on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and probably Sunday as well. Tonight’s review is for Saturday.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Pretty much anything is allowed, including dirty sneakers. Just don’t look drunk or cause trouble. It took about 10-15 minutes of lining up outside, and another 5-10 minutes lining up in the stairs to get inside. I didn’t exactly time it but its an educated guess.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20 standard. $15 on guestlist before 10PM. $15 after 2AM for everyone.
Guestlist: carol@candys.com.au – see website for updated guestlist details.
Inside: Tonight the entire place was open. Walk downstairs underground to enter the rear of the main dancefloor to hold 100 or so people. DJ on the far left. Upper lounge and dance area that runs on the left alongside the dancefloor to the DJ area, where you can also dance next to him/her. Bar on the right of the dancefloor. Lounges behind the dancefloor, and behind the lounges is the backroom and second bar area, where it is close off on smaller nights.
Cloak Room: $5 for all items.
Bar Prices: Didn’t drink tonight, though the line didn’t seem that long. No longer than 5 to 10 minutes to get a drink from the backroom. I would say the same for the main bar as well.
DJs: Slappin’ Plastic, Brojo le Fro, Ember, Smokin’ Brojo Mekhael, Teez, Diskoriot, Black tie Dj’s, DJ Frostii, We Can Solve Mysteries.
Music Style: Each DJ had their own different styles. The underlying style was house music, whether it be mixed with rock songs such as Chop Suey or recent house songs such as Barbara Streisand. It was definitely good enough and thumpy enough to dance to.
Crowd: Mostly caucasian crowd. Mostly young 18 and early 20 year olds.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment
Atmosphere: Dark and loud throughout the club. It was pretty mush packed on the main dancefloor the entire time we were here. The backroom didn’t receive as much attention, but half the time there was someone dancing there. It got pretty smelly in the backroom after someone vomited. The crowd here was well into the music back in the main room, and even one of the DJs was into it, drinking and taking in the crowd.

The backroom was open tonight - Candys Apartment Sydney

Video: Walkthrough – Side to the front DJ area. Jump into the front of the dancefloor through lounges to the backroom.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Video: 360 of the Main Room Dancefloor 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Straight into the Cloak Room
Last time I was here, my jacket and bag were stolen, so I buzzed right into the cloak room. If you had to put your bag somewhere, most of the crowd dumped their bags on top on one of the many speakers throughout the venue.

Loving the dance
I am loving this dirty heavy house music. I am dancing my chops off. Shuffle here, shuffle there, shuffle everywhere. I got up next to the DJ up on stage and did more shuffling – no security asked me to come down. Fuck yes, and the floor was a bit sticky up here, but on the main dancefloor it was all good to dance on. Screw those girls-only podiums in the RnB clubs! There was also just enough room to dance around and do your lovely dance moves – security ensured that the place didn’t get too  I suppose.

The Make Out Couch
So there is a couch out back near the backroom where couples sit down and make out. One of those really fancy looking couches from the Elizabethan age. anyway, two couples are making out, while a 3rd girl sat opposite them, staring, looking disgusted. haha, was she jealous much? Actually I would say the whole backroom area was make out central!

Humped by a fellow dancer
I’m at the front dancing away like a madman. It’s kind of impressive as people around are staring. So much so, one of the guys gets up and does his own dance as well next to me. Hurrah for more dancing! Then he does a complete turnaround and thrusts his hips at me repeatedly like a machine gun. Each projection of his hips and groin hitting my general groin/leg/hip area as well. After the third thrust into my body, I realised this wasnt some joking thrust that drunk guys do for fun. This was some seriously hardcore violent, earthquake 10 on the Richter scale, bone cracking, kind of hip thrusting. Not even Terry Crews would have been able to blast this one away. This guy was fucking crazy. Seriously fucking insane. Just not funny humping another guy dude. I kind of had to step back and away to another area.

Thinly veiled…
Later M, who is with me, is told by a random punter to ‘dance with the indians’ but in a very non-joking way. There was a birthday party where some indians as well who were dancing. Punter was a local Aussie. You can make your own assumptions here.

Arrivederci
Left 3:50 so we could make the 40 minute walk to Central train station. Haha.

Recommendation
If only this place was bigger. Music was generally good, but a handful of songs were not danceable to. Crowd was all into the dancing here, well except for some girls who were the majority of couch warmers. Also, some of the guys in here have definitely ingested something special in here, but what else do you expect in a dark club such as this. If you are, however, looking for a dark club with some good danceable dirty house music, this is a great alternative to go than the other underground club, The Rouge, down the road.

Saturdays @ Candy’s Apartment – 7.5/10

Hanging with a statue depiction of someone probably related to me

Chinese Laundry Saturdays: 14th August 2010

Assessment Time: 09:00PM – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: 09:00PM – 04:00AM
Lockout: There was a lockout, but unsure what time it was. We were told leaving at 3:00AM that once we left we were not allowed back in. The lockout may probably have been 2:00AM
Address: 111 Sussex St, Sydney (above the Slip Inn)
Venue Website: http://www.merivale.com/
Promoter Website: https://www.jammusic.com.au/#/chinese-laundry
Occurence: Every Saturday. Promoters also do Friday nights.
Dress Code / Door Policy: There was no strict dress code tonight. Most of the guys wore casual – shirts and jackets with jeans. Girls were mostly dressed well here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Standard Prices are $15 before 10PM, $25 After. Guestlists available for discounted prices from the promoter website
Guestlist: See promoter website for details
Inside: Nothing has changed since last time. Walk into the bottom level, where the Cave on the left to hold 100 people or so. Chinese Laundry room on the right where the main tiled floor holds 150 or so people. Secondary chillout room behind a wall where the only lounges reside for 50 or so people. TV in the chillout room is playing episodes of The Smurfs. Sand Bar on the top level with a large outdoor smoking courtyard for 200-300 people.
Cloak Room: No cloak room services tonight.
Bar Prices: $12 Smirnoff double blacks. Lines were 2-3 Deep at the Sand Bar and Cave most times. Courtyard and Chinese Laundry had much shorter lines and we bought from here instead.
DJs: Maseo (De La Soul), Act Yo Age, Kraymer, Samrai, Chris Fraser and more.
Music Style: House, Breaks and Rnb/House Mashup. All the commercial house songs were being played earlier as well as  a lot of hip hop, old school rap songs too in the Sand Bar. Later on the night it was more of the DJs playing songs they liked, which were not necessarily well known to the crowd, but still danceable to, which was the key point here. Occasionally in the Cave, the beat got pretty repetitive and we needed a break, from the breaks. (pun unintentially intented)
Crowd: Mostly a white crowd, but tonight there was an unusual higher number of asians than usual. Find out later there was a few Asian birthdays tonight, which explained it.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment
Atmosphere: It was a good turnout, but it wasn’t as sardine packed as last time I was here. It may have been because of the lineup not being as strong – the lead DJ was delegatd to the Sand Bar. Either way this turned out better dancewise – there was enough room to dance around without it being too dead. however places like the chillout room in Chinese Laundry were empty most of the time. For me, it was a good balance on the floor, but for people who liked packed out venues, tonight would be a little disappointing. People in general here are having fun and of course are dancing. any other non dancers just hang out at the outdoor courtyard.

Sand Bar Upstairs Dancefloor area

Video: Walkthrough all 3 rooms – Chinese Laundry, Cave, then Sand Bar, then the outdoor courtyard

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
Mirror Mirror
We started the night at the Sand Bar upstairs, where fortunately there is a mirror overhanging on the wall. It is perfect to stare at yourself or to practise your dancing moves. Unfortunately friends were not fans of me staring at the mirror, they needed my attention, ha! How can one not get their eyes off themselves if they are so good loooking?

Man in the mirror

Shuffling in the Cave
We dance in the Cave. It’s pretty dark and this is where most of the people can get their shuffling on. I started to do my shuffle, and there was another dude who joined in on the action. He came really close to me, like within personal space, at times, but it was all good. We just continued to dance.

The 40 Year old Cavewoman
Theres an older, a little larger, woman going hard at it. Not quite shuffling or as fast as younger folk, but you can tell she’s dancing and spinning around and having a pretty awesome time. We dance and she told me it was her first time out in 2 years, as last year she gave birth to a kid. Suddenly we started to make out. haha, I’m kidding about that part. anyway, she made me guess her age, and luckily I had my age radar on. I guessed she was 40 on first go, and well, I was right. She introduced us to all her friends, which was the entire front of the cave. I didn’t even realise. lol. All friendly and seemingly having a good time. This is what clubbing is about!

"The Smurfs" on TV!

He’s teaching me how to shuffle
I’m feeling a bit lazy and not really dancing much. Then ok, I put the accelerator on and I go pretty hard at it. I’m spinning and doing all that I know. Then the dude who was shuffling with me earlier comes up and demonstrates how to shuffle. I already knew that and I demonstrate it again. He then tells me “you’re doing good, keep going at it”. ugh! Patronised! Like telling a chess grandmaster he is doing well with the 4 move checkmate – just keep at it and he’ll forget to protect that key pawn.

Heres me trying to do a 360 of the Chinese Laundry room:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci

Sand Bar closed upstairs at 03:00AM. Tempted to dance more downstairs, but our friend was not too keen on the house downstairs, so we leave.

Recommendation
This wasn’t too bad a night at all. If I paid $25 it might have been a different story. If you got bored in one area, you could always escape to check out another area, which is what I love about multi room clubs. It was also good to see the outdoor smoking area finally extended to cover the whole area complete with heating as well. Perhaps a few more people would have given a better atmosphere. 

Chinese Laundry Saturdays – 14th August 2010 – 6.5/10

anyway, walked in, and the DJ was there, and so was the dancefloor, and pool table to the side. Lounges on the other side, with bar on the back side.

Bar Century dancefloor, with pool table area

The dancefloor was about the same size as the pool table. Infinitesimally small. This place should not be $5.

We entered at 12:55AM and the place closed at 01:00AM, so we didn’t last long. We managed to talk to half the people in here in that period of time, lol

Don’t come here for a clubbing experience – this place is more of a bar, if you are into that.

Dancefloor @ Coogee Bay Hotel Sydney

Saturdays @ Coogee Bay Hotel
Assessment Time: Midnight – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: www.coogeebayhotel.com.au
Address: Coogee Bay Rd, Coogee, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual was ok tonight. Sneakers and hats allowed. Half the crowd wore t-shirts, the other half, casual collars. Only a handful of people including us were nicely dressed. I certainly felt very well dressed as I walked in tonight.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free tonight, but these guys have the fingerprint scanners installed. I get worried when a venue has this technology as it would only mean violence has occured here before.
Guestlist: None tonight. It was a regular Saturday, and the Coogee Bay Hotel does its own promotions.
Occurence: Every Saturday bar special events where entry fee applies.
Inside: The actual club is just one section of the whole complex – similar to how The Albion is setup. Walk in and the live band room is on the right, sports bar on the left. Keep walking in to enter the large beer garden at the back, and bistro on the left. On the right is the club. In the walkthrough video below, we walk from the entrance straight into the club. The clubbing room itself has a wooden dancefloor to hold about 100-150 people comfortably. Some lounges around the surrounding carpeted areas. It feels a little bare, but the whole place is dark, so you eventually forget about the barebones setup. 
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Did not buy from the bar tonight. However throughout, the line was about 2 people deep. Expect at least a 5 minute wait.
Music: Non-Commercial House, Dubstep, Rnb/pop mashup.
Crowd: Mostly young people here. Teenagers and early 20′s. A handful of people in their 30′s as well, who have come for a bit of a dance after dinner I guess. Pretty much everyone here was caucasian, and probably locals. I would not imagine a non-local making the trek all the way out here on a regular night.
Entertainment: No MC, no podiums. Just the DJ and dancefloor, and some UV lights
Atmosphere: It was busy throughout the whole night. It never got too packed, so you could always have room to dance. Sometimes it got close to squishy but nothing to worry about – you could dance somewhere else – the dancefloor was large enough to accommodate - people danced on surrounding carpet areas as well. Pretty dark in some places around the floor but lighting keeps the floor itself well lit.
Evictions: I saw 2 dudes in total kicked out for being drunk. One was ready to start a fight on the dancefloor. The other was throwing TAB betting sheets all over the sports room and pretended nothing happened when questioned by security – paper littered all around him – hilarious.
Video: Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

With a coogee local! That is not how he normally looks.

Conclusion: This place is friendly for all natios. Way more than The Mean Fiddler, even though I liked it there.

The short man
There was a short man who looked amish but had a brown beard, and he danced funny. For a good 5 minutes he stood there pointing his hand in the air, his finger tapping an invisible button. He was surprisingly dressed well like us. You can see him as part of the 360 video below:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The next 2 hours was spent consoling this random person. She kept telling us that we could keep the money as long as she gets her passport back – as if we would steal stuff! She didn’t even want to go to police, as she assumed she had to bribe them to get anything done – thats how it operated where she came from. We are pretty lucky. anyway, harsh lesson learnt – use a cloak room. Oh wait, this place didn’t have one. Lesson is, don’t ever put your little purse down.

Post Mortem
Next day, it was revealed that when the club closed, the dude who was meant to take care of the bag forgot he was meant to take care of the bag. He thought it was a strangers bag thinking that the lost bag would be reported lost to police (it was), he dumped the bag on the sofa instead of handing it in to bar staff. He didn’t want police on his back. What a douchebag. A few days later, the bag was handed back to the backpacker, minus all the cash.

Arrivederci
We are ceremoniously kicked out at closing time. The sports bar room remained open if you wanted to keep on drinking.

Recommendation
A generally friendly crowd and good dancing atmosphere and music to break some moves to. However the night was ruined with the lost bag and Ms lost phone. People are so unfreakingreliable. I’m sure this place has its merits though I probably won’t come back here – it does take a while to get here from the city.

Saturdays @ Coogee Bay Hotel: 5.5/10