A friend has invited me 3 weeks in advance to go here. The selling point – 16 hot asian girls will be appearing for the modelling competition. Tempting. Same guys who did the old Havana events before it closed. I was free, alright, so here we go!

2010 Miss Phoenix (TV) Cosmos Asia Pacific Dance Party @ Haymarket Hotel
Assessment Time: 9:15PM – 12:30AM
Opening Hours: 9:00PM – 2:00AM
Lockout: None, or when venue reache capacity until further notice.
Address: 661-663 George St
Promoter Video: This video was made after the event http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1289098562151
Occurence: This appeared to be a once off event, but the finals will be held, probably here again in a few weeks time in September.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Smart Casual, but casual was accepted tonight. I was specifically told by my friend to dress very formal in order to fit into the VIP area.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 presold, and $30 at the door. Most people I saw had bought presold tickets.
Guestlist: No guestlist as far as I was aware. However when I was getting in, I saw a chinese dude pleading with the bouncer that he was “VIP” and that his name was on the guestlist. Well, here was some news – everybody was a “VIP” with their ticket, and well.. there was no guestlist, haha. He had to line up just like the rest of us.
Inside: All three levels are on tonight. DJ on the top overhead VIP area, ground level is the main drinking area, and also the dancing place – a small kind of enclosed area to hold about 50-80 people. Downstairs is another bar, and lounge area where it is all carpeted.
Bar Prices: I didn’t drink tonight.
Music Style: RnB, Pop.
Crowd: Entirely asian. I spotted 2 or 3 white people upstairs in the VIP area, but that was about it.
Entertainment: Some dancers before the main show, and of course, there was the main show of the 16 or so girls smiling at us.
Atmosphere: Split over three levels, at around 10pm, everyone decked out the ground level to catch a glimpse of the girls. This left nobody downstairs for the entire night, as everyone stayed on ground level. So you could say it was packed. However before the show started it was dead, everyone waiting. After the show, it was a good 15 minutes before people started to drink and dance. By then it was around 11:30ish, proper clubbing time. During normal clubbing hours it was good, people were dancing about and the place was closed off many times to outsiders. More on on this population problem later.
Video: Walkthrough all 3 levels
YouTube Preview Image
The Miss Phoenix Cosmos Modelling show
Tonight was apparently the showcase of the 16 or so girls who were the finalists of the Miss Phoenix TV competition “the only beauty contest held in China”:
09:55PM – People comee up as 3 dancers, start to dance. 2 of the dancers are promoters I recognize, and the 3rd is a white girl who is probably hired for the occasion. Mostly they are just shaking their asses, while the dude in the middle is dancing with the fellow promoter. White girl dancer is left alone but  she doesn’t seem fazed to be surrounded by asians.
We await for the show to start

We await for the show to start

10:00PM – Dancing finally finishes and the dancers head off podium. We just want to see the chicks model and strutt their stuff.
10:05PM – Special K goes up to dance for a bit to the entertainment of the crowd. Hilarious. I am tempted to join in.
10:10PM – Special K goes off. Podium is empty again. People are wondering when the girls are coming down. Meanwhile, the DJ continues to play music but nobody is dancing. We are all watching the projector screen, which is just playing ads.
10:15PM – Apparently girls are still getting ready. BORING. There is no ETA to when the girls are coming down and we are considering leaving. It is that mind numbingly boring
Video: 360 of the crowd waiting for the posing show:
YouTube Preview Image
10:20PM – Girls FINALLY come down. Photographers flash their lights and what not. The first 6 girls step up and pose with their smile. They do nothing else.
Contestants Set 1/3

Contestants for Miss Phoenix 2010 Set 1/3

10:25PM – The first 6 step down and the next 6 step up, and do the exact same thing. That is, stand and do nothing but smile.
Contestants for Miss Phoenix 2010 Set 2/3

Contestants for Miss Phoenix 2010 Set 2/3

10:30PM – The last set of girls stand up and AGAIN do the same routine. You wonder how these girls can smile for so long without being bored. They get off and people are standing around waiting for the next part of the show, which doesn’t happen. That was the entire show. What bullshit is that? Watching girls pose and walk off. Total Rort.
Contestants for Miss Phoenix 2010 Set 3/3

Contestants for Miss Phoenix 2010 Set 3/3

10:35PM – I am up on stage posing, pretending to be the Dark Horse wild card contestant. Special K joins me and we dance. Bored Photographers once again take photos of the attention whores at the front. I smile at the crowd, who don’t seem amused. This makes me laugh more.
Striking my own pose

Striking my own Model Pose on podium

10:40PM – I am still up on stage. MC screams out “put your hands up!”. We put our hands up in the air, and look around at the crowd staring at us – Nobody at all has raised their hands. Hilarity does not ensue. I step off stage.
So the DJ says put your hands in the air, so we did

So the MC says put your hands in the air, so we did

10:50PM – Nobody has danced for 10 minutes. 10 minutes is a long time when you are standing in the one spot doing nothing. The promoters finally move the podium away, as it was blocking  access to dance and move around. People start to leave and others begin to dance.
The crowd didn't really join in on the dancing action, preferring to stare at the TV

The crowd didn't really join in on the dancing action, preferring to stare at the screen

11:00PM – The club is once again rocking and rolling, but not without leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
Most of the girls left after their show duties were up. I don’t think they were the clubbing type. A handful stayed back to party amongst their uglier counterparts.
I saw my cousin again
I saw my cousin and had to say hello. I said whatsup! But he stared at me. He didn’t know me. He was someone who looked almost like him. Fuck, how embarassing. More embarrasing was that I insisted I take a photo of him to show my cousin. He agreed after the 3rd plea. Way to suck up James
Not much room to dance.
Well, everyone was upstairs, and nobody really went back down,  and if you did, you’d get bored as .. there was nobody downstairs. Upstairs was just packed as a result.
The promoters oversold tickets. Tut tut.
Unbeknownst to the promoters – who sold 1000 tickets – Apparently the venue could only legally hold 200-300 patrons! Whoa! M was one of these patrons, who was not able to get in, and was told be security to basically “go away” and come back later, when people left the venue. Many people had to get their tickets refunded, which the promoters rightly did so. However for the people who just walked away and discarding their $25, it is a shame. A crying shame, as it meant I had to leave early to join my other friends who couldn’t make it inside. Throughout the night you could see handful of people coming in , but only every 5 or 10 minutes. A farce.
Left at 12:30 when friends were not able to get in due to overcapacity.
Well, it was a once off. Just hope promoters at this place realise about the capacity of this venue before going for gold in promoting it. Dancing was good, but the show itself was not worth coming 2 hours earlier for. You could look up a Victorias secret catalogue on the internet and experience what I did, without the boredom.
Modelling Show – Posing around with no known judging panel of any sort or interaction – 1/10
Clubbing (after 11PM) – Good atmosphere but downstairs was dead, and reaching capacity meant people who prepurchased tickets were locked out 3.5/10


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2 Responses to Miss Phoenix TV Cosmos Asia Pacific Dance Party @ Haymarket Hotel: Friday 30th July 2010

  1. yeeha says:

    special k would have continued to dance if there was the most remote possibility that any atmosphere would accentuate into the depths of the crowd.
    but no. no emotion whatsoever.

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