Bamboo was having a white party! Oh god I hate this place but it was a white party – I had to go.. and to make sure I wouldn’t change my mind, they threw in free entry all night and a free drink for anyone dressed in all white!! With the sad news that Sensation White was cancelled and no longer returning to Australia (the promotional ad had ironically told people “why wait for Sensation this year?”), this was a rare chance to whip out the good old Gandalf the white outfit, so I rounded up some friends and got this thing started – here we go!

Jesus with worshippers at Bamboo

Jesus with worshippers at Bamboo

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 17th July 2010
Assessment Time: 11:00PM – 04:00AM
Opening Hours: 10:30 PM- 04:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: ,
Address: 51 Martin Place, Corner of Elizabeth Street Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual allowed. Half the dudes are smart casual, and the other half are just.. casual. Girls are all in dresses and wearing their faces. Lots of pretty girls. and they’ve relaxed policy somewhat – they have allowed hats to be worn inside!
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry all night if you wore white. Otherwise standard cover charges apply. $20 on guestlist before midnight. Free on guesetlist if you get to the counter before 10:30 (small chance), and $25 after midnight.
Occurence: Every Saturday only.
Inside: Walk into a small bar to hold about 150 or so people – DJ at the front corner. Bar on the right hand side of the venue,taking up half of the floor space. 4 podiums are dotted along the length of the dancefloor, including one with a dancing pole. Small private area at back but was really open to anyone who walked in. Outdoor smoking and BBQ area on the left of the venue.
Cloak Room: $5 for all items.
Bar: I can’t remember. 3 ABC shots for $36 ?
Music: Primarily Hip Hop / RnB tonight. Top 40 and Commerical House mashup as well. DJ’s are mixing it well, keeping the crowd always active and dancing.
Crowd: Dominantly Asian. I spotted 2 white girls, 3 black guys as the minorities here tonight. There were probably a few more handful of the minorities. Age wise it varied, but most people I met were in their early 20’s. It seems as all the teens have gone to Funky. Bad news in a few years time for Bamboo as they would soon have no base.
Entertainment:Theme tonight was White. White balloons all over the place. MC to keep things going. Podium dancers, but only one or two. BBQ outside to feed your tummy. Similar to Shanghai Nights (well, it is the same promoter)
Atmosphere: At its peak, the place is extremely packed, and you would be hard pressed to find some floor space to dance – you would really need to hop up on the podiums to have your own dance action. Outside of peak periods it was still pretty busy. Most of the crowd are singing along to the songs, so pretty vibrant.
Video: 360 of Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar (at the back)
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Instant Entry
We rocked up at around 11:00PM and the line was about 20 or 30 people deep. Shorter than usual, but it was winter though. Plus now there was more RnB events to cater for the teenage bopper crowd on Saturdays. anyway, it was still probably a 30 minute wait. We happily stand in line as we know we are getting free entry for wearing white. A promoter sees the Gandalf outfit and tells us. “THIS WAY, THIS WAY! Come right in!”. Booyah!! He plucked us out, and brang us to the front of the line, to the probable dismay of people lining up, wondering why Gandalf and a dude with his hair sprayed white were allowed instant access. You just didn’t do your research, did you, my poor fellow clubber. anyway we got right in and free entry right up. They ran out of free drink passes, which was advertised for everyone who was dressed in white. Booo!!!

How to prevent long haired wigs from falling into your face
The previous two times I came out with the white hair wig there was a major issue at hand – hair falling in front of my face and blocking my vision as well as random strands of hair falling into my mouth. I found the solution for the uneducated – a headband! Yes, girls have long known this fact, but I only discovered that a headband really works. I didn’t actually use a girly headband – I got a piece of cloth and tied it around my forehead for the same effect. It also kind of made me look more wizard like – more people guessed I was Gandalf the White rather than Jesus, so I was pleasantly surprised at this.


How to tie your hair back

Jesus have a hairband

My hair got caught up
My wig hair is about shoulder length. Bamboo is a very very packd event. Inevitably my hair got caught up in many peoples zipper jackets, and it was pretty annoying. Also while dancing, the hair would get caught in the rings that girls were wearing. Pretty annoying for the girl, but I found it funny.

Balloons are not fun
Someone tied up three balloons to the back of my hair. For a fleeting moment I had the insane idea of repeating what I did last year at Bligh Bar, but quickly brushed it away. anyway, the balloons on my hair didn’t last long – after they got entangled in one of the chandeliers, I had to manually undo it from my hair. It was an embarrasing look, standing in the middle of the dancefloor undoing these balloons.

I fooled one girl
Girl: “Can I wear your wig?”
James: “its real”
Girl: “nah, its not!” (tugs the wig and by sheer luck, it manages to stay on in place ) “OH MY GOD IT IS REAL! I’m so sorry I pulled it!”
James: “Yup”

Girls who look like who they have seen Jesus. Oh wait…
You walk around and a girl turns around. She look and YELLS IN HORROR like she saw a ghost. It happened twice. It really is amazing how scary I look, right? haha. I love this outfit.

Pole dancing
There is Korean looking chick who has taken pole dancing classes. Look at the pic and look at the crowd, all amazed at her style. Show off, but I must admit, it was hypnotizing.

Upside down pole dancer shows off

Upside down pole dancer shows off

Multiple podiums (The Jason effect)
Last year when I went to bamboo, they had 2 small podiums, and one would always be dominated by Jason, the resident Korean bum dancer. Tonight, they have installed four podiums. I do suspect that it was a mitigation against podium hogs, and it has worked – you can dance on one podium and people around you will love you, but other dancers on the other end of the club are staring at their own podium. Focus is mostly on the pole dancing podium, to see what tricks people can get upto on it.

Standard dance moves while wearing robes or looking like Jesus
If you ever find yourself in the presence of a Jesus lookalike, or wearing holy robes, here are some holy moves that I discovered that would certainy send a message to the heavens above to let them know you ain’t gonna stop partying in heaven:

The prayer: Simple yet effective, clasp your hands together in a prayer position. From here, keep your hands together and move up and down. Bend over for effect. For variation, move hands in a circle or above your head to move to a Thai / Egyptian style dance.

The Hallelujah: A bit more daring, and effective with robes. Both hands in a diagonal manner away from your body, and pump them up and down at the elbows, with palms open, reaching for the sky. It’s a real crowd pleaser if you are up on stage, as it is very easy to follow. See images above on demonstation.

The Holy Whip: Again, a robe only dance move, and the ad-hoc adaptation of the classic wind up your towel and whip the other dude. Grab a part of your robe that is dangling off and hold it about 1 metre up from the base. Lift it up and fling it quickly back and forth onto a persons buttocks. Perform the fling quicker for a better ‘ouch’ effect.

Here’s a video of me dancing
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Really really packed. ugh.
During the hour at around 11:30PM until about 1:30AM the main dancefloor is undanceable. You stand in the dancefloor trying to dance, but you end up just letting people through your circle or bumping into other people. You either would have to dance at the far back where it was boring, or way at the front, where it was similarly away from the action. However it was still somewhat danceable.

I saw my cousin!
Ran into my cousin. He’s 23 and engaged already. His fiance was there as well. He couldn’t believe what I was wearing. His best friend was there who met me before, but I had no idea who he was, haha. anyway we had a chat and he asks where my girl was. I pointed to a girl I met at the bar – he understood the bro code and pushed me back to her. I love him.

Too hard to hold a conversation
Being as awesome as Gandalf the white has its downsides. Primarily that I could not hold a converation with any person – male or female for longer than 5 minutes. I would have someone else run up and tell me how awesome they thought my outfit was or how they wanted a photo. How could I not take these compliments or photo opportunities. Many thought I was working here. Aww hell no!! A girl even asked for my business card. It got me dreaming of a business card – it’ll be one of those cards that when you open up, would play a random RnB or House tune in similar vein to classic old school mobile phone tunes! Awesome:

Nightclub and event reviews at:

Hmm.. I like it! I might go make some.. they’re not expensive to make. Watch this space.

Kicked out at closing time. Place had about 20 people still in it when they finally kicked us out.

Post mortem
Busted by someone who saw me at the last white party
Outside Verandah Bar: JAMES! JAMES!! He screams. Who the fuck is this guy coming up to me?
Oh shit. Totally busted. It was a guy who I met at the I Heart Uni White Party a few months ago. I remembered him and we had a good old chat. Luckily nobody at Bamboo came up to say they recognized me 😉

It’s a nice place to meet people, but its way too squashy to dance during peak hours.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 6.5/10

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