Tonight is boxing day. I am at World Square Pub, while my dance buddy M visits his new found glory hole Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar and bumps into my friend Special K. I was meant to turn up but I happily dogged them for the once off Funky Buddha event tonight – anyway M has been kind enough to write a review for the website for tonight!!! (As of April 2010) Both M and Special K have made an established name for themselves at the venue, amongst patrons and staff, thanks to their ‘incredible’ dancing. So read on below my dear reader, and delve into the thoughts of one half of the new dance couple of Bamboo!

BAMBOO @ Martin Place Bar: 26th December 2009 [Boxing Day]

( Review submitted  by M )

Assessment Time: 10.20 PM – 3 AM
Address: 51 martin place corner of Elizabeth Street, Sydney
Dress Code: Casual tonight. Although security stated a “No hat” policy, I was not harrassed to take my hat off at all inside at any time. The Asian girls here dress to impress in tight fitting cocktail dresses.
Entry fee/Cover Charge: A scandalous $25 general entry, $20 Guestlist.
Inside: DJ stand at the front towards the entrance, opposite the admissions booth. One room, a bar turned dance club so the whole floor serves as a dancefloor; moderately spacious for about 50 – 70 people, but usually packed like sardines since the crowds always exceed that amount by at least triple and a half. Two bars, main bar along the left side wall, smaller bar in a VIP section at the back. More lounges for general use towards the far back right and a cloakroom there as well. Two square platforms along the right side for the brave and the wild [One usually occupied by JASON the notorious Bamboo Bum dancer] and a podium with a Pole on it for pole dancing!

VIP section has three lounges enough to fit about 12 people comfortably, with standing space and a table in the centre of it for mingling.

Large outdoor smoking area, not very sheltered so some of the drizzle was getting on the floor and people were getting a little damp but no one seemed to mind.
Cloakroom: Yes

Music: Predominantly RnB/Hip Hop, some House. DJ was decent with his mix.
Entertainment: Live MC keeping things fresh, and professional dancers on the platform for some decent intervals throughout the night, scantily clad and quite decent looking! There were even some majorly buff male strippers in bowties at the start of the night dispensing some sort of promotional freebies for the ladies.
Crowd/Atmosphere: Crowd is almost saturated with asians. I might have seen about 4 people that were caucasion the whole night. There was a decent turn out for Boxing Day, floor got reasonably packed towards midnight, but not as terrible as what I’m used to other times I’ve done Bamboo, and a lot better than some other clubs such as Chinese Laundry where ventilation is shocking.

Very laid back atmosphere due to the RnB, but still totally pumping. It was Boxing Day and everyone was in a great mood. There was only one scuffle with some Koreans getting a little hot under the collar, but no one was thrown out since it dissolved in a hurry and no punches were thrown. Security was quite relaxed tonight a good many of the people I was hanging out with that night were pretty much falling off the platforms blind drunk with 8 standard drinks in them but yet no one was removed due to intoxication.


I am alone.
I ordinarily despise Bamboo. Asian crowds usually don’t do it for me, and Bamboo usually has more asians than China. The only reason I came tonight was to wingman for James! Funny that since he did not even turn up at all that night LOL So for the first hour I did not know anyone.

I am not alone.
I start talking to the fellow next to me. His name is Eddie. Next to him is Special K. Special K is friends with James! I now know people and am no longer alone. SK is also friends with two other girls who also know James and she makes the introductions. I met them previously at Haymarket hotel but only briefly. We all mingle at the edge of the dancefloor. No one is really drunk enough to dance yet. I would have, but I was determined to keep a low profile tonight since I was tired of bouncers tyring to kick me out of clubs when sober. (James’ note: M was kicked out of the bottom drinking area of World Square Pub for dancing, and appearing drunk. )

I am a pole dancer.
I get Special K totally plastered with double vodkas and lime. Apparently Special K becomes a VERY provocative dancer when sloshed. I did not know this [Okay, yes I totally knew this and totally exploited that fact]. We get up on the podium. We start pole dancing. I am making it up as I go along. Somehow the two of us are rewriting the Karma Sutra Pole Dance manual and it looked HOT! The crowd went beserk. We keep this up for about 2 songs. I remember I’m supposed to be low profile. I get paranoid and get off the podium expecting security to escort me outside at any moment.

I am a slut.
The rest of the night I am whoring myself out. The girls are not shy at all tonight. This was the most unconventional asian crowd ever! The Pole podium is always occupied by at least three people, greasing it up and grinding. Girl on girl quite often. Some topless guys were on there a number of times. Special K spent most of the night up there going absolutely psykotic. Her friends are all totally bangin’ and know how to move to make a man happy! One of them pulls me up on the podium and before I know it she is all over me. She is drunk off her chops and deliriously happy. We are making out shortly after.Her friends do not intervene and neither does my conscience. I buy her a drink. She requests WET PUSSY and has sex in her eyes when she says it! We are pretty much having our way with each other all the way to the bar. Throughout the night I am dancing with everyone. A girl invites herself up to the podium and starts working her body against mine. She is a total wet dream! Turns out her brother was there watching but did not intervene!

Left at 3.00 close. Danced out, pimped out, and very surprised that it was a great night out at Bamboo. Not the mediocre
Chinatown sort of experience I remembered at all.

The night probably wasn’t representative of how Bamboo is on an ordinary Saturday since it was Boxing Day. Most of the crowd was at Equilibrium / World Square Pub [see review Funky Buddha once off at WSP] and Arthouse from what I hear, so it was a lot less crowded than usual. Bamboo is usually the last place I’d recommend for a raging good night on the dancefloor especially if that ludicrous $25 is the standard cover charge, but independently that night would have rated a solid 8/10.

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