I spent a lot this week, so I was going for a tight ass night. To make sure of this, I went on my own because as we all learned a few weeks ago, lazy friends will otherwise pick the closest club and you gotta pay premium. Not that I’m against my friends – I’ve promised to go clubbing with them next week. So in my world tonight, I was entitled for a tight ass night.

Initial attack: Create a guestlist for UN Nightclub. Line up at 9.30 and get in before 10.30 for free. (A few weeks ago, lining up at 10pm was a bad idea since the line was already 1 hour long).
Guestlist was confirmed (www.chocolatesydney.com) and I was set to go.

9.20 pm – UN Nightclub
an walked me to UN nightclub for company. We got there and surprisingly, there was no line at all! woopee! We sat down on some stairs a few metres away.

9.40pm – The line up begins

2 girls and another group suddenly rush to the door and stand there lining up. It was time to join the early bird line. I was the third “group” to get there. I was probably 7th in line. Nice. Even if they open the doors at 10.20 and let one person in per minute I could still get in free.

10pm – Worried

It was time to open up the gates. The bouncers didn’t do it.

Meanwhile, the group in front of me grows to about 12 as they let their friends in. I really hate that. I’m about 15th in line. Still good. Meanwhile the bouncers let these other people in without them having to line up. Supposed VIP’s I guess. They even let in a group of guys dressed up in their G-Unitesque clothing right in. Disgrace.

THEY FINALLY OPEN UP – 10.15pm

By now, the general mood of everyone was pretty pissed off since we’d been waiting so long, and that they were supposed to ‘open’ at 10pm. Trust emails for that. So what happened? They let SEVEN people in and closed us off again !! This is totally tight ass (yes, I see the irony), but seriously – I’ve been out here about an hour now.

10.35 (1 hr in line) Fuck off you tight ass mongrels. I’m not giving my money tonight
They still didn’t let anyone in yet, while they still let some more VIP guys in. Fuck. I’m pissed. I missed out on my free entry. Wasted an hour of my life standing in one fucking position. My feet were fucking tired. I want my fucking hour back. Seems like the guest list is just a placeholder for a $15 entry and to still force you to come. I left the line which, by now, had grown to a very long one. The people around me in the line were probably surprised I gave up the ghost after waiting for so long. Hey guys, even Space nightclub lets people free flow into the damn place after around 10.10pm. For shame!!
So yes, my reader, I am so serious about tonight being a tight ass night.

Cheers Nightclub ~11pm
I have never been here. All I knew was that it was:
– Asianfobby
– Free
Got there, and basically went right in – no line.

About Cheers Nightclub Friday Nights:
Located on George St near Liverpool St. It’s a bar during the day and is situated underground.Upon walking down the stairs you are presented with a small-medium sized room. In the middle is the dance floor – it’s pretty small but its packed. A bar lies on one of the walls, lounges on the other side.

Music:
Tonight was RnB and some commercial house later in the evening for about 30 minutes. There is no DJ. Instead the TV screens on 3 walls play the video clips while the music is pumped out. It is not as loud as a typical nightclub but loud enough to make you yell when speaking to someone else.

Atmosphere: Crowded and busy with a bit of fun.

Crowd: Mostly Asian crowd but there were a mix of other nationalities too. Most of the Asians are here from overseas – I couldn’t recall hearing an Asian there with a proper Australian accent.

Experiences: Well I danced for a bit. The music wasn’t anything special. Initially only about half the people standing on the floor were actually dancing, as there was nowhere else to stand. Around midnight people started to get into the dancing mood.

It got crowded. The bouncers did not relent in releasing more people into the club. It got so crowded that I couldn’t find a free open space to dance around, and was dancing on the carpeted area. Then even more people came in. I couldn’t take it so I left to go to pavilion.

Pavillion Hotel (~12.30pm)
Being Friday, Pavillion wasn’t going to be packed. It wasn’t. I bumped into Kevin who I got to know at a VSA Camp in 2006. He was there for Susan’s birthday, another girl I met at the camp. She didn’t recognize me. Couldn’t blame her – it’s been a year since that camp, her face was red and she was off her chops.

The vibe was pretty dead but I had some time to dance and look at myself in the mirrored wall behind the DJ. I didn’t last long.

Cheers again (~1pm)
Ok I went back. They were playing house. Thank god. I went nuts when they played that Chemical Brothers song. I forgot how it goes, but I’m sure you know which one. It’s the video clip where the Arabians are in the desert nodding their heads to the music. Awesome stuff.
Then after a few good house songs, they played the rnb again. Crap. I left again.

3 Wise Monkeys (~1.30pm)
Went outside of Cheers and looked to my left. There was 3 Wise Monkeys standing there. The line.. 5 people. Easy logical choice.

About 3 Wise Monkeys Pub:
Corner of George St and Liverpool St. 2 or 3 levels of pub, pub and live gig area. Only the top floor had music.
Music:

It was a live band The Wildcatz, who seemingly play there every week. Last time I saw The Wildcatz was a long time ago on a Public Holiday. They do classic rock cover songs, and now have a new female member who does all the female rock songs by artists such as Pink.

Atmosphere
:
Packed and humid. Humid as in the moment you walk up the stairs and reach the top, you HAVE to take off your jacket or jumper. The BO wall of humidity just hits you. Maybe they should have made an exception to the non-smoking laws at the 3 wise monkeys pub. I’d rather put up with the ciggies instead of breathing in the combined sweat and body odour of about 100 people.

Crowd:
Mostly White Australian/British. Spots of Asian and Indian. Crowd was very friendly and very into the music. Everyone singing along, while the people at the very front jump up and down, and do whatever you do.

Leaving (~2am)
I did some dancing, but really, I simply got too hot too quickly. I picked up my jumper off the floor to leave and was confronted by some guy. He thought I was stealing his jumper. I had to tell him it was mine and my tie matched the damn jumper. He finally let me go. Wasn’t in the mood – I just wanted to get out of this stinkplace.
Mind you, only the live area is a stinkhole. The lower levels are at quite normal temperatures and humidity for a pub.

Coda
What a crap night. Loved it though as I spent nothing.

Lessons Learned:
-You have little chance of getting the free entry promotion. The free entry deal is only there to suck you in and make you pay anyway to get in, since you lined up for so long. I can’t believe it took me so long to realise this. It’s a shame that the irregular clubber will probably not know. UN is still a good club though otherwise.

-The anti Smoking laws may not have been a good thing after all.

-Don’t leave your belongings next to some big guy.

-You always get what you pay for.

I hope this post helps you in your quest to find the best free dance areas in Sydney.

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2 Responses to UN Nightclub / Cheers Nightclub / Pavillion Hotel / 3 Wise Monkeys Pub (aka Tightass Free Night) – 3rd August 2007

  1. Contessa says:

    Hi guys I am a promoter at Havana ( DCMs – UN Sydney )

    If you are after a cheaper night out, get a hold off me on face book Contessa K Crawford I will provide you with free entry before 12am!!!

    If you have a Birthday coming up I can organise VIP treatment for you and your guests!

    Check out up coming EVENTs TRANCE NIGHT 30th June!!!!
    $15 Tickets available through me, DON’T MISS OUT!!

  2. bum whole says:

    im gay i like hardcore sex and my bro fucks me all night long

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